


Tender Morsel

by Lustrous_Lamniform



Category: Transformers (Bay Movies)
Genre: (bigbigBIG size difference!), (for the most part), Cuddling & Snuggling, Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Language Barrier, Licking, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mild to Moderate Feral Behavior, Monster!Optimus, Mutual Pining, Size Difference, Slow Burn, Virgin Sacrifice, Virgin!Cade, also Cade is in a dress because why the heck not, and because traditional gender roles do not apply to this universe lol you're welcome, future characters hidden for now to prevent spoilers, ok imagine 'evil' TLK Optimus except without flames and knight/truck parts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 11:11:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 64,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10638648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lustrous_Lamniform/pseuds/Lustrous_Lamniform
Summary: (Fantasy-ish AU. Loosely inspired by the earlier TF5 trailers.)Ever since Cade was chosen to be offered up to the metal titan that lurks in the deep forest, he has been certain that the best possible outcome is a swift and painless death.So imagine his surprise when the beast chooses to nuzzle him rather than eat him.





	1. Offering

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, boy  
> Yeah, this one's for all you thirsty peeps on Tumblr (including myself [wait what])
> 
> IMPORTANT: Please note that I started this fic a couple months before The Last Knight even came out. I was kinda winging it with how I characterized Optimus since at the time I wasn't 100% sure how evil/mind-controlled/whatever-the-heck the movie was gonna make him. (To be honest though I think I like my take on dark Optimus a lot more than canon's lol but that's just me)

Perhaps in a different time, in a different life, he would have fallen in love and started a family by now. Chances were he would have been considered normal for once, rather than the village oddball, often accused of wasting materials on failure after failure in his workshop. He most certainly would have been safe from the council’s attention when the Hundredth Spring came around.

Alas, here he sat upon the back of a saddleless horse: Cade, the oldest, healthiest virgin in the village, all gussied up and on his way to be sacrificed to the local monster.

“Unbelievable,” he grumbled under his breath for what had to be the millionth time within a fortnight. His arms were crossed and his eyes were glaring daggers at the back of the rider leading his horse. However, he did not feel quite as tough as he hoped he looked in spite of the white, rather-indecent dress he had been forced to wear (a “ceremonial garment”, they called it—bah!).

In actuality, deep down, Cade was absolutely terrified.

And who would not be? For thousands of years, metal beasts had ravaged and ruled the lands outside the valley in which his village was nestled. One such beast dwelled in the valley itself, and it was said to be one of the largest of them all. Its territory was on the far side of the forest, but it was still too close for comfort. So close, that once every hundred years, its hungry growls could be heard far and wide during the night. So close, so terrible and powerful, that the villagers had no choice but to offer up one of their own and pray.

Cade surveyed the surrounding twilit landscape, then shivered when he realized that the smaller, familiar trees had already given way to towering, gloomy pines. They were in the most ancient part of the forest, now. At any second, he should see…

…There, straight ahead. There was the tall rock, upon the edge of a small cliff. The very place where past offerings had been left behind and never seen again.

_Oh, gods_ , he thought, _please let this be a bad dream_. He gave his arm a hard pinch, making himself wince, reminding himself how much worse the monster’s jaws were going to feel. He did not wish to die, not like this! How was he supposed to know that the Hundredth Spring would fall within his lifetime, anyway? No one, not even the council members, had ever bothered to warn him.

It was then the suspicion that they _wanted_ to get rid of him wormed its way into his mind, and the shock nearly overbalanced him when the procession came to a halt.

Through the blood pounding in his ears, he heard the lead rider call out something to the other escorts as they dismounted, something about being late, _swiftly, swiftly, swiftly_! Suddenly he was practically yanked off his horse. His bare feet met hard earth, chilled from the death throes of winter. He was being tugged along, but his steps just would not land right. He could feel his legs giving out—

A pungent scent brought him back to full awareness a few minutes later; hands were rubbing his limbs and neck with an oily substance. Instinctively he thrashed and tried to stumble away, only to discover the sturdy rope that kept his wrists trapped together above his head and fastened to the rock behind him. Something that felt like jagged pebbles now clung snugly around the crown of his head. A heavier weight around his neck and a strange blue glow brought his attention to his chest. Several necklaces had also been added to his attire while he was out. He could see now that his jewelry was threaded with pieces of a rare, magical crystal, which had been mined for this very occasion. It was possible his eyes were playing tricks on him, but the energy they emitted seemed to pulsate in time to his frantic heartbeat.

“There, that should do it,” said the leader of the group, sounding more anxious than ever. “Come, before it catches us out here, too!”

No one needed to make that suggestion a second time. Faster than Cade could spit a curse after them, they fled from his sight without a single word of farewell. As the sound of hoofbeats quickly faded into silence, he gazed into the dark forest that loomed before him. Loneliness and despair pressed in on him from all angles.

“So this is it, then.”

Above, the full moon appeared from behind a cloud, bathing the clearing with its soft light. Shifting his weight to his toes, Cade leaned forward as far as his bonds would allow, trying to catch a glimpse of the undergrowth twenty feet below. Could traces of the previous sacrifice still be found down there? If he searched long enough, would he spot their old bones poking up from the forest floor? He squinted for the longest time, but the moon shrouded itself again before he could find anything out of the ordinary.

He was about to slump back and rest his eyes when a thunderous snarl split the night.

Cade bolted—or at least he would have if he were free, and even if he could, he likely would have shot right off the cliff. The rope yanked him back, nearly cracking his head against the rock. Wildly he glanced about as he scrambled in place with nowhere to go. Seeing nothing, he willed himself to calm down, if only for a moment so he could think before reacting like startled prey.

“Far away,” he panted, “it’s still far away. Perfectly fine.”

Right then, there came the unmistakable _crack_ of a large tree limb being snapped like it was nothing but a twig. It was not that far away at all.

_Well_ , Cade thought with a gulp, _if there are bones down there, I suppose I’ll be joining them soon_.


	2. Sampling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here com dat monster boi

As it turned out, the first crack was a mere prelude to the racket that followed.

Sticks scratched against its armored hide. Boughs swished and snapped in its wake. Entire trees groaned and rattled; one that was unfortunate enough to stand in the way ended up toppling to the forest floor with a mighty crash. Worst of all were the rhythmic, pounding thuds of its footfalls, each one impossibly louder and heavier than the last.

Judging from these sounds alone, Cade suddenly realized with dread that the beast was even more massive than the old illustrations and hearthside stories made it out to be. That meant its built-in weaponry must be longer and sharper, too. At this rate, a single claw was probably all it needed to peel the flesh from his bones!

With this gruesome thought in mind, his pulse escalated ever higher when he at last spotted a shadow moving amongst the foliage. A growl reverberated from the shadow; it was somewhat quieter than the one from before, but still strong enough for Cade to feel it from where he stood. After what felt like ages, the pines closest to him twitched, then parted, revealing a giant, horned figure with glowing eyes.

“O-oh--!” A strangled moan gurgled within Cade’s throat, so soft it was almost a whimper. He would have been embarrassed if it were not for the fact that he was staring into the savage, purple gaze of Death itself.

But when Death itself stepped out from the trees, something peculiar happened.

Whether the gods were mocking him or trying to comfort him, Cade was unsure. What he did know was that the moon briefly peeked out again at the perfect moment. It casted its silver light upon the monster’s reflective armor, allowing Cade to further discover how incorrect the stories and illustrations actually were. Where he had expected to see grotesque spines, he saw none. The fingers were not tipped with claws. Not a single tusk or fang protruded from between those metal lips. What were accurate were the horns, but even they did not seem so long and terrible in the light—in fact, they looked rather elegant. Also accurate was the eye color, and the scar on one side of its face, but the face too fascinated Cade more than it frightened him.

Overall, the beast looked less like a predator and more like a human.

A human who just so happened to be made out of metal.

And extremely tall.

And extremely… _muscular_ , in all the right places.

Cade took all this in within the short span it took for the titan to stride up to the cliff. Meanwhile, a warm, unfamiliar feeling blossomed deep inside him, somehow gradually smothering his fear even as his demise drew ever nearer. The feeling was not unpleasant in the slightest, but it mystified him a great deal, for he had never felt this way looking at another human being before. Why, if he had not known any better, he would have assumed this was what falling for someone felt like—

Oh, wait.

_Oh, NO_.

The truth struck him over the head harder than a smith’s hammer: he, a single man over thirty years of age, was finally attracted to someone, and that someone was the very creature that had come to kill him.

Yes, the gods were definitely mocking him.

A low rumble brought him out of his moment of revelation. He looked up toward the beast’s face; aside from its piercing gaze, it was hidden in shadow once again. For an agonizing minute it stared down at him, studying him in such a way that made Cade feel naked. This reminded him of the outfit he was wearing, and his cheeks grew hot. The material was a bit too thin, for certain, but surely the beast could not see right through it in the dark, could it?

He was about to cross one leg over the other—just in case—when the beast lifted its hand and reached for him. Cade froze up mid-fidget and squeezed his eyes shut, thinking he was about to get smashed. Instead, he felt the warm, hard tip of its finger touch his head with a gentleness that surprised and puzzled him. He held his breath, holding himself still as the creature felt his hair, then his circlet of crystals. It rumbled again; Cade was probably going mad, but he could have sworn it was a sound of approval. Still not daring to move, he opened his eyes to peek up at the beast. His heart raced when he recognized the glint in its eyes—the look one gives their favorite delicacy before devouring it whole.

Before he knew it, he was freed from the rock, only to be guided into an unyielding grasp. He gave one startled yelp as its giant fingers came around him, then another as his stomach plummeted. He was flying, higher and higher, trapped in a fist that could crush him into nothing in an instant. There was no escape, no time to even _plan_ an escape. He was done for.

Once his dizzy spell passed, he found himself closer to its face than ever, so close he could have touched it. A hot breeze hit him full in the face, followed by another and another; it took him a second to figure out that the beast was sniffing him. Its finishing snort came with a soft growl that vibrated his very bones—and, bizarrely, his nether regions. Outraged at himself, he groaned and squirmed, trying to shake away feelings that he knew were incredibly inappropriate for the plight he was in. He was supposed to be scared out of his mind right now, not _aroused_ , for land’s sake!

To his astonishment, the beast opened and flattened its hand, as though in response to his wriggling. He fell back into its palm with a grunt, and he continued to lie there, dazed and bewildered, until he felt something touch his bare, oiled leg. Too late, he noticed that the skirt of his dress had ridden clear up to his thighs, and now the beast was feeling him up with its finger. Its eyes were ablaze with curiosity and excitement, though the hunger was still present.

“Th-th-that’s quite enough of that,” Cade squeaked, blushing. He sat up and yanked his dress back over his knees, though afterward he privately wished he had remained where he was. _What on earth is it doing_? _Shouldn’t I be dead by now_?

At that moment, the creature brought him nearer still, closing what little space remained between them. He gasped as its smooth nose made contact with his chest, his necklaces clattering against hot metal. Without meaning to, he braced his hands upon its cheeks. It apparently took this as encouragement, for it pressed into him further, drawing in his scent with deep, huffing breaths. So intense was the heat and proximity that Cade began sweating almost at once. For a second time his loins began to stir. Again he made a feeble attempt to fight it, for it made no sense—but oh, how could he possibly manage to control such a desire? He was about to die anyway, so there really was no point in denying it: this handsome and mighty creature turned him on something fierce. Its presence alone felt so _good_. Leagues better than any time he had ever pleasured himself…

He was lowered a few inches, till his chest was level with its mouth. Purring, it gently took his necklaces between its lips and suckled. Its eyes flashed brighter at the taste, so bright they were almost pink. Overcome with greed for more, it parted its lips and licked Cade with its flexible, metal tongue.

“Uhngh, oh _gods_.” His moan was nearly a shout; the sudden introduction to a giant tongue both surprised and thrilled him. In that first single swipe, it traveled up his legs, hiking his dress back up and leaving behind a wet trail in the process. Again and again the beast licked the oil from Cade’s skin, each pass slow, almost sensual, sending shivers up and down his spine. By the fourth lick, he wanted more than anything for the beast to taste the erection he had growing underneath his bunched-up skirt. By the fifth, he was pounding his fists into its palm and begging for mercy, unable to stand the sweet torture anymore. “Pl-please, please, j-just _eat_ me already, you old brute!”

The licking ceased, but the beast did not devour him.

He challenged it with his eyes from where he sprawled, chest heaving, legs glistening, cock throbbing. “Well?”

It considered him only for a few heartbeats before it returned him to its face for another snuggle. Then, it pivoted and carried him off deeper into its territory. Its flabbergasted captive sputtered and cursed, but it paid him no heed.

Cade had no choice but to accept the fact that the rest of him was being saved for later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Silly virgin, monster boi just wants a den-hubby
> 
> To be mcfreakin' continued


	3. Aching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bet you weren't suspecting the good ol' POV switch

For as long as Optimus cared to remember, every hundredth wet season brought the Ache, and with every Ache came the need, the sensitivity, the agitation...and the free snack.

Though the fleshlings were endangered creatures, no amount of curiosity ever tempted him to approach their colony. They were a jumpy lot who feared the mere sight of him, almost as much as he feared the possibility of them ambushing him in a vengeful swarm and stabbing him through the eyes, like the fleshlings in the hatchling-den stories. It was this disturbing image, as well as his primal instincts, that drove him to take their peace offerings--which, for whatever reason, always coincided with the Ache.

Their fragrant scent would lead him to the same spot, where he would find them wearing the same coverings, dressed in the same particular type of oil and energon that the Ache craved so very much. They would unleash shrill squeal after shrill squeal from the moment they saw him, only pausing to make smaller noises that sounded like _No_ and _Help_ \--noises from a language he did not entirely understand, but he recognized the sheer terror behind them. Light and fragile though they were, they always struggled with such might and desperation that it was a wonder they never snapped their own spines.

This fleshling, though…

This fleshling was different.

Not once did it squeal. It barely wriggled when he first picked it up, and even then Optimus sensed it was more out of discomfort than it was an escape attempt. While most fleshlings refused to look at him, this one had appeared entranced by him, its eyes filled with yearning and frustration and many, many questions. Most puzzling of all, though it had panted and trembled and whimpered like the others, it was not for the same reason.

It was not all that afraid of him.

No, it actually _hungered_ for him.

Optimus had suspected this from the start, for he could smell it all over its body. The way the little creature had reacted to his tasting and touching only solidified his certainty...and strengthened the Ache.

 _Take it_.

Its twitching fingers upon his face, its gasping moans beneath his touch, its sweat mingling with the oil...!

 _Take it all_.

Oh, it was so much, too much, yet not enough, all at once! For the first time, he wanted more than the treat--he wanted the fleshling that came with it. He needed it with him, in the safety of his den, immediately.

 _Mine_...

By the time he finally crashed through the outer edge of the forest, with the fleshling cradled possessively against his chest, his internal mantra was deafening.

 _Mine, mine, mine_.

Sticks and leaves stuck out from the seams between his armor plating, irritating his sensitive areas. Were he not in such an excited state, he would have taken a moment to pluck and scratch. Not now. He will clean himself up later.

Before him, at the base of his mountain, stood a large, ancient fleshling-den that was built from stone. Half of it was in ruins, but two of its towers were still intact. It was here he used to always turn his fleshlings loose after taking what sustenance he needed off them, and strangely it was here they remained, at least for a time. Some disappeared after a few days, their trails never leading back to their own land; others chose to live the remainder of their days here, forever wary of him and fleeing into cover whenever they spotted him.

He considered the empty ruins for a split second before shaking himself with a scowl and continuing on. With his free hand he shielded his fleshling, in case the towers came to life and snatched it away from him.

 _No_.

 _Mine_!

Up the bluff he climbed, racing the approaching dawn and whatever little rational thought he had left. Unfortunately for his conscience, the Ache had grown too demanding. He knew not how to appease it, or why after all this time a fleshling of all creatures had to be the first one to help him do it, but he must, he _must_ , or he just might burst from the agony!

Into his den he went, quivering with anticipation. Once he was settled inside his favorite nook, he at last looked down at his prize with a suggestive purr.

The fleshling did not purr back, nor did it chatter at him like it had done earlier.

It remained still in his hand, silent and limp, its eyes closed.

Alarm clutched Optimus's spark, snuffing out his desire in an instant. He brought the creature closer, fearing the worst. Had he been so pit-bent on satisfying himself that he had accidentally killed his fleshling without realizing it?

But when he scented for signs of death, he instead felt a small breath of life tickling his plating. Its chest, he noticed, was still rising and falling. Its soft lips were parted, relaxed. Color lingered beneath the scruffy fur on its face. He poked and prodded its body to check for injuries, eventually earning a tiny grunt and a lazy shove against his intruding finger. It then turned onto its side and slumbered on, clearly unharmed.

Optimus sagged with relief. It had only fallen asleep during the walk home.

Which meant he still had a chance to woo it.

 _Wake it up_!

The Ache returned full force, but for once he managed to control himself long enough to carefully tuck the sleeping fleshling into a safe corner before exiting the den. He may never have had experience with a mate before, but he was sure of this: He could not just do what he pleased with this little creature whenever and wherever the need arose. He had to be patient. He had to be _gentle_.

First things first, he had to walk off the Ache's rage--perhaps temporarily sate it the old fashioned way, if it came to that.

 _Turn back_! _Take it_!

"No," Optimus snarled, and with that, he slid down the steep slope, allowing the space between him and the object of his attraction to widen drastically before he had a chance to change his mind.

Not till he reached the bottom did he realize that he had spoken in the fleshlings' tongue, not his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that awkward moment when the big bad monster boi is also a virgin
> 
> "but jessica why hasn't he boinked another monster boi after all this time?"
> 
> hmm............good question hahaha


	4. Exploring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the nice comments and stuff!! your feedback helps a lot!!

Somehow, Cade was more shocked at himself for dozing off in the beast's clutches than he was at the simple fact that he was still alive.

Famished, parched, and sore, but alive.

A babbling underground stream was the only sound he could hear; the echoes prevented him from figuring out whether or not it was actually close by. He continued listening from where he lay on his side till he could no longer stand the uneven stone surface beneath him. Biting back a groan, he eased himself up into a sit, then slowly scooted himself around to discover that he had been taken to an immense cavern. With aid from the morning light pouring in from the mouth, he stared wide-eyed at the breathtaking formations--especially the column in the center, which rivaled the size of the beast itself. Even the ceiling made him feel small, it seemed so far away.

A glint from a high ledge on the opposite side caught his eye, making him tense until he realized that the object, though gigantic, was much too flat and lifeless to be what he initially thought it was. There were other large things sitting next to the long thing, but he could not identify any of the objects from his vantage point.

"Cooking utensils?" he guessed, then snapped his trap shut. Just because he could neither see nor hear the beast did not mean it was not in the cave with him. Surely it would not leave its live prey alone...would it?

Naturally, Cade's eyes shifted back to the exit. It was just a short jog away. All he needed to do was to find a way down from this ledge.

But first, he had to get up.

Easier said than done. His muscles were so cramped he had to seek support from the wall as he struggled to his feet. One by one he stretched his limbs, then popped his back with a groan that he was certain was loud enough to wake the dead. Even that noise, however, did not summon forth the monster.

_Perhaps it really has abandoned me_ , he thought with a twinge of...something. Something other than hope, if he was to be honest with himself.

He tried not to think about it too much. Alas, when he absentmindedly put a hand to his chest, he felt his necklaces and was immediately reminded of the lips that touched him there. This inspired him to rub one leg against the other. Sure enough, they were sticky from when the beast had...had--!

"Ah," Cade said, his voice a mite wobbly. "So I, uh, _didn't_ dream that, after all."

That meant the beast was still all sorts of attractive. More importantly, it also meant that Cade's every moan and swoon had actually happened, which meant that his erection had actually happened, too--oh, how embarrassing! Now he _really_ had to get out of here.

In a mad rush, he tore off his jewelry to be rid of the extra weight. As soon as the circlet joined the rest of the luminescent mess at his feet, he stumbled his way to the edge and peered down. Quite a drop, but not as bad as the one in the forest. There were plenty of places to put his hands and feet the whole way down. Cade was on the floor of the cave in no time flat.

“Simple,” he muttered. Almost too simple.

When he dashed outside, he soon found that his suspicion was true: the real obstacle between himself and freedom was not the drop inside the beast’s house, but the one right outside its front door.

Once again Cade was struck dumb with awe, for although he had lived in the shadows of the surrounding mountains all his life, he never had the opportunity to climb up one; that was a task meant for miners and hunters only, and Cade was neither. Yet high up on a mountain he was now (an unexplored one, at that!), gazing down upon the valley below. The misty forest was a great sea of greens and browns, with the glittering river weaving through it like a serpent. Though he thought he could see a few thin trails of smoke in the distance, the village itself was much too far away to make out. The one manmade structure he could see was something he would have missed had he not had the courage to approach the precipice and look straight down. It was a crumbling ruin, but even from way up here, he could tell it was once an impressive building. _A temple_? _A castle_?

A cold updraft whooshed into his face, buffeting his bangs and billowing his dress. Gasping, he lurched backward and kept backing up till he hit the cliff face behind him. Once he was calmed down somewhat, he searched for a safe path that could potentially lead him down the steep bluff. Spotting none, he slumped his shoulders and went back inside.

“Now what?” As his mind scrambled for answers, his thirst returned his attention to the noisy stream. “Wait.” He perked up at once. “Wait, that’s it! Maybe it goes out somewhere...”

This way and that he scurried as he tried to pinpoint where the sound was coming from. The deeper into the beast’s lair it led him, the more discouraged he became; any farther, and he will be in complete darkness. He hated to admit it, but he was starting to regret leaving behind the jewelry, for their glow was better than no light at all.

Just as he was about to turn back, he reached out and touched a wall that was quite damp. Cade paused mid-step, noting how loud the noise had grown. He had to be practically on top of the stream by now. Where--?

His foot came down…and met nothing.

By the time Cade cried out, he had already plunged down the hole and landed with a splash. The chill shocked him at first, but once he felt the current tugging him along, he fought for his life. For a terrifying few seconds he did not know which way was up. Then he realized his back was grazing the bottom. Desperately he flailed about till he was sitting up. His head broke through the surface. Now he was slowly being dragged along on his ass. Confusion settled over him as he gasped for air and braced his arms against the tunnel walls on either side of him to stop himself from going any farther.

“Unb-b-b-be _lievable_.”

A depth that had felt like hundreds of feet a moment ago was actually only about as deep as a normal bath back home.

In other words, Cade had not fallen to his doom. He had simply found the stream.

After a great deal of grunting and slipping, he managed to stand up in spite of the rushing current. His soaked dress sagged, threatening to drag him right back down if he did not lift up the skirt. He did so, but with one hand, for he needed the other to feel around himself. To his great dismay, he felt the roof of the tunnel right above his head; he figured he would be downstream from where he had fallen, but how far did he go? It was too dark to see anything.

“Stick with the p-p-plan,” he encouraged himself through chattering teeth.

Carefully, he followed the current, his hand never losing contact with the slick stone around him. After a while it seemed that the constant echoes bouncing around him were quickening with each step he took. And was it just his paranoia, or was the passage closing in on him?

_No_.

He sensed the barrier in front of him a moment before he smacked right into it. He pushed against it as hard as he could, but there was no hope in budging the huge rock. Panicking, he squatted and felt for the space underneath, through which the stream was slipping to continue its quest for freedom. Plenty of room for water, but no room for a full grown man. Attempting to squeeze through would be definite suicide.

_No, no, no_!

“Some genius you t-t-turned out to b-be,” he exploded. “C-can’t fit in, can’t f-fall in love with someone who d-doesn’t want you f-for b-b-breakfast—“ With nowhere else to go, he turned around and began trudging against the current. “—and now y-you g-go get yourself stuck in a godsforsaken p-p- _puddle_.”

Why, oh why did that thrice-cursed hunk of a beast not just eat him when it was supposed to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh, typical damsel in distress...ya leave 'em alone for ONE CHAPTER and something like this happens
> 
> hm i wonder how he's gonna get dry *eyeball emoji*


	5. Fishing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long!!!  
> thanks for your patience!!

Falling asleep was never Optimus’s intent, either.

But he was so desperate for release, wanted so badly to make friction with something, anything, that he stopped in the middle of his patrol down the river, found a rock formation of perfect size and shape, and mounted it.

Before he knew it, he found himself on the ground, his body sluggish, his groin sore, the old wound on his face throbbing as his tainted blood pumped excitedly through his veins. Grey pre-dawn had bloomed into pink sunrise. The stains on the rock and his thighs were already dry, though the scent of his pleasure lingered. It was a big mess to clean up, but at least the Ache was satisfied…for now.

After rinsing off in the river and masking his scent as best as he could, he took a moment to gaze downstream. He never did make it to where his patrols always ended, where the river emptied out of the valley and into the land beyond, the land he once called home.

His armor bristled, and he turned sharply to begin the walk back to his den.

 _Back to my fleshling_.

Now that his conscience was clear again for a while, he was free to scold himself with mutters and growls. Leave it to him to not only end up falling for a creature outside his species, but a descendant of those who warred against his ancestors, as well! Alas, it was probably the closest he will ever get to having a true sparkmate. If anyone from his old home were to ever find out, they would likely say it was the best he deserved.

“Hmph.” He brushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. “To the pits with them.”

If this was the best chance he will ever get, then he might as well take it. He rather liked this fleshling, anyway. On top of that, he had to admit that he missed sharing a den, and he especially liked the thought of sharing his sleeping space. If he was persuasive enough, he and the fleshling just might do a whole lot more than sleep.

However.

To mate with it, he must first impress it.

To impress it, he must shower it with everything it could possibly want and need.

 _What do fleshlings like_ , he wondered, _besides a place to hide_?

He reflected on the behavior of every gifted fleshling that had chosen to share his territory in the past. His opportunities to observe them were few and far between, so his knowledge was limited. There was the one he spotted attempting to climb a tree, and the one he found picking something from a bush; both had abandoned their tasks and run away before he could figure out either purpose. Over the seasons, from afar, he had watched them crouch by the river, churn up the earth, and gather twigs and pebbles. And every day there was the scent of smoke from the ruined fleshling-den—sometimes along with the hot reek of a dead fur-creature.

Optimus crinkled his nose. He had forgotten their diet included the flesh of the non-sentient. Dare he allow that stench into his den? What if it never went away?

The towers of the fleshling-den came into view as he rounded the final bend. Standing around the ruins like sentries were the type of trees that stayed green every season, their prickly boughs whispering in the breeze. The sight of them reminded Optimus of the scraps still trapped under his armor, and for the second time that morning the itchiness made itself known. He paused long enough to dig into a particularly bothersome spot under his arm, and out popped a twig with its leaves still intact. Funnily enough, the leaves were indeed the prickly, needle-shaped sort. But when he rubbed them between his fingers, he was reminded of how soft they could be, so long as they were not jammed up his armpit…

“That is a start,” he murmured.

He hurried to a grove of younger pine trees and pulled a few up. Their branches slapped against his plating, sending yet more needles into places where he surely will never reach, but his sudden urge to build a nest for his fleshling had him so fired up all over again that he could care less. On a whim, he also grabbed a generous fistful of tall grass; the more bedding, the better.

Scaling up the cliff to his den was a challenge, partly because Optimus was still fatigued from his pleasure-making, and partly because he was too stubborn and eager to reunite with his fleshling to make more than one trip. He ended up using one hand to grab hold, his other hand and arm carrying some of his load while his mouth clenched firmly around the rest of it. His progress was slow and awkward, but at least he managed to not drop any of the trees.

However, he did almost lose everything when he detected the fleshling’s scent on the cliff’s very edge.

 _No_.

Within sparkbeats he was inside, his burden abandoned in a heap just inside the den. There, in the nook where he left his fleshling, was nothing but a pile of energon crystals. Scenting the air, he spun about, searching every corner and cranny, checking every ledge—even the highest ones, where he stored his possessions. The Aching part of him refused to believe what his mind feared had happened. How could he be so foolish? He should have known it would wake up and snoop around. He should have considered the possibility that it would change its mind about him, that it would rather die than spend another minute with some cursed wretch…!

Suddenly, from deeper within the den, he heard a muffled cry.

It sounded somewhat like this: “H-hello?”

Optimus tilted his head. The sound was similar to _Help_ , but there was a second beat to it, and it sounded timid, not terrified.

“Help,” he responded in the language of the fleshlings. There was no answer. He said it again, louder but unsure. “Help?”

Something was splashing about in the stream. When the voice finally replied, its tone seemed sheepish: “Uh, y-yes? Yes, help.”

Optimus approached the narrow crevice that cut through his den. He knelt and peered down. Sure enough, the true end of his fleshling’s scent trail was at this edge, not the one outside. He shook his head, relieved but bemused. Whatever possessed it to jump down there? Perhaps it simply grew bored and decided to play in the water.

“Help?” he called, for he could not see the fleshling from here. It must be lost somewhere down the tunnel. He squeezed his hand down the crevice and splashed the water with his fingers, hoping to guide the little creature back to him. “Help?”

The sloshing gradually drew nearer until a small figure finally appeared, walking with its hands outstretched as though blind. Squinting, it turned its face upward, then jumped, clearly startled to see his face right above it. It would have slipped and fallen had Optimus not gotten a hold of its white covering and plucked it out from the crevice.

“Oh, look at the state of you,” Optimus clucked in his own tongue, to which the soggy, shivering fleshling blinked back at him with a mixture of confusion and surprise. “Let this be a lesson to both of us, hm?”

The fleshling squeaked: “I-I-I’m sorry, I c-can’t understand you.”

“I am afraid I do not know what those sounds mean,” rumbled Optimus, “so I shall take it as an agreement for now.” As he stood, he cupped it close to his body. He could not resist purring as it snuggled against him for warmth. Maybe wooing this fleshling will not be so hard, after all. “Let us get you dry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've got nothing clever to say down here because i'm in a rush whoops BYE SEE YA NEXT TIME


	6. Igniting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaay, I'm back!

It was a shame that Cade’s thoughts were racing as fast as they were, otherwise he might have once again drifted off to the rhythm of a titanic heartbeat, and perhaps this time the blasted creature would finally dispatch him in his sleep.

_Did it really just…talk_?

Oh, who was he trying to fool? Of course it talked! Though he only understood one word (the rest was a bunch of clicks and growls and guttural gibberish), there was no way he imagined such a deep and powerful voice. Cade might be losing his mind, but he refused to believe that he was going deaf.

So. His people’s centuries-old neighbor, the great and terrible man-eating monster, was not only easy on the eyes, but capable of speech, as well. Spectacular.

While his brain struggled to wrap itself around this newfound knowledge, Cade huddled into a tighter ball against the beast’s warm, warm chest. Even with his eyes closed, he knew he was being returned to the front of the cave where there was plenty of sunlight, and although he longed to look up and finally behold the beast under the light of day, he was almost too afraid to do so.

No, not afraid.

…Embarrassed? Shy?

“Good grief,” he sighed, “it’s both.”

The truth annoyed him so much that he instantly unfurled himself in retaliation just as they slowed to a stop. He first looked at the huge, grey fingers that surrounded him, dampened from his drenched hide. For the first time he noticed the tiny nicks and scars that patterned the metal skin, so numerous that they crisscrossed each other. Gulping, Cade trailed his gaze up its bulky arm, to its even bulkier torso. His heart beat a bit faster upon realizing that the scars did not stop at its hands; nearly every part of its body displayed the ghost of an old injury. Yet, even after so many years of wear and tear, the greys and silvers of its armor still glittered, and the reds and blues peeking from between the metal plating still gleamed.

_Incredible_.

Beneath the moonlight, the beast had looked majestic. Now, it was downright godlike. No human could possibly create a likeness that did it justice, not even the most talented artist, let alone a lowly inventor such as himself.

He forgot all about being cold and miserable by the time his gaze reached its silver face. It appeared just as smooth as it had felt against his body during the night (the memory was enough to get his hands a’wringing); the only exception was the legendary red mark that barely missed its left eye, so evident that it was no wonder it had been visible in the dark. Its silver-tipped horns framed a silver crest in the center of its otherwise blue head, however not even these magnificent details were enough to distract from those purple eyes—

_Oh_.

\--which apparently had been watching him this whole time.

“Heh,” went Cade, his mouth twitching into a wobbly grin.

To his further mortification, the creature squinted down at him for an awfully long and awkward stretch of time before going: “Rrrrklklkrrrrtktktk?”

Cade’s breath stalled as he felt the vibrations all around him. Swiftly he lowered his gaze, only to end up blushing ever redder as he discovered just how much more transparent his dress became when wet. Good gods, he might as well be naked! Swearing, he slapped his arms around himself, trying his best to hide the places where the damp material acted most traitorous.

“You know,” he said, clearing his throat, “where I’m from, it’s, uh, considered rude to staAARE--!”

Suddenly he was descending, with only one hand supporting him instead of two. He clung to its fingers and did not let go till it tilted its palm, causing him to slide and stumble into a soggy heap on the cold stone floor. Immediately he missed the warmth of the creature’s body; within seconds he was shivering again as he sat up. He was not surprised to find that the beast was still observing him as it crouched over him. Its arms rested upon its knees, its hands hanging limp as though relaxed. Cade knew better than to let his guard down within snatching range, though.

“You’re going to keep staring, aren’t you?” Anxiously he bunched his skirt in his fists, hoping the wrinkles would help conceal him better. _Oh, it doesn’t matter what it sees, anyway_ , he reminded himself with a pang of sadness. He may have developed a crush on the most beautiful creature to walk the earth, but to the creature he was nothing more than a morsel to be devoured and forgotten. “Listen…I’m not—” He swallowed, took a deep breath, then continued in a rush: “I-I’m not in the mood for any more cat-and-mouse nonsense, so why d-don’t you go ahead and b-break your fast right now?”

It rubbed its chin, growling something under its breath.

Cade gave an exasperated groan. “Don’t mull it over, just do it! W-wait, where are you going?” His eyes rounded as it stood and stepped right over him. He craned his head back so far he ended up lying flat, the tremors from the beast’s footfalls preventing him from getting up until it was farther away. With a grunt, he flipped himself onto his belly and propped himself up with his elbows, glaring after its retreating form. “Come b-back here and eat…me…uuuh…oh, for gods’ sakes.”

Well, well. So the great and terrible man-eating monster had a fine ass, too. What a shock.

Entranced, Cade watched the creature stride over to a heap of trees that was not there earlier. As it bent over and pulled one from the pile, he marveled at the way it moved—so fluid and graceful, for something so large and made of metal…

He shook his head, forcing himself to lie back down and close his eyes. _Stop doing this to yourself_.

After a minute of rustling and snapping and grumbling, he heard it approach him once more. He tensed as it knelt down with a crash. Wood clattered in front of him. Metal struck stone, again and again, making him jump and cover his ears. He found the nerve to look up in time to witness a stripped log catch fire not ten feet away from him.

_Ah. Here we go_.

The creature checked his reaction, clicking what sounded like a question.

“Um.” Cade stood, arching an eyebrow at the fire. Although it gave off a generous amount of heat, it just looked like a giant torch that had been dropped and abandoned. Far from traditional. “Is that really enough to cook me? I know I’m small, but—“

It reached around and started nudging him closer to the fire with a soft rumble.

“Right, right, of course,” he chuckled nervously. “You’re the expert on this.”

He expected to be shoved right into the fire, but the nudging stopped once he was only a few feet from it. The beast withdrew its hand, watched him for a few more moments, then climbed to its feet yet again. Growling and scratching its shoulder, it headed toward the side of the cave where Cade had spotted the mysterious objects on the ledges.

“What am I supposed to do,” Cade sputtered, “throw _myself_ over the fire?”

Either his question was ignored, or the beast simply did not hear him over the sound of its own scratching.

“What a brute,” Cade muttered, clenching his fists. He wished he was already dead—no, wait, he wished he was back in his workshop, where everything was normal and familiar, even though he was lonely half the time—oh, he did not know what to think anymore! “What an absolute barbarian.” Snatching up his skirt, he furiously twisted it in his hands, wringing out the water. “Torture me with a taste test and some suspense, eh? I’ll show you, you…you stupid…attractive…!”

He would never admit it, but in truth, he was not angry at the beast. He was angry at the gods, and the council, and whoever-it-was that started this whole sacrificing thing all those centuries ago. Most especially, though, he was angry at himself.

Meanwhile, the beast was at one of the ledges, rummaging. Cade tried not to pay full attention, but at the unmistakable _shing_ sound of something sharp and deadly, he snapped his head up, his heart skipping a beat as the beast turned around. Clutched in one metal hand was a wad of cloth—in the other was the biggest knife he had ever seen.

Cade gasped, held it in, then exhaled slowly through his nose. He wrung his dress harder than ever; from far away, he thought he heard a few threads pop. _Finally_ , he thought as the beast returned to the fire—and to him. _The big moment_.

How wrong he was. As the beast sank to one knee, it looked at him with a quizzical noise, followed his wide-eyed gaze to its knife, then looked at him again. With a huff of disgust, it set the blade far to one side.

“No,” said the beast.

“What do you mean, ‘no’? How else would you slaught—” Cade paused, placing a hand to his forehead as it dawned on him. “Y-you just spoke human again.”

“No,” the beast repeated. It made a ‘stay’ gesture at the knife, signaling that it was not intending to use it on him.

“You really were bilingual this whole time, weren’t you? I was starting to think you only knew the word _Help_ for whatever reason, but...say, what other words do you know? Can you understand anything I’m saying right now?”

“No,” it grunted, and with that, it outstretched its other hand and let the large cloth drop on top of him, shrouding him in darkness, warmth, and a rather musty smell. Once Cade finally managed to poke his head out, the beast was already leaving him unharmed for the umpteenth time, knife in hand.

“…Was that a trick answer?” Cade wondered aloud, scratching his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love how virgin boi's like "wtf stop staring at me" before AND after checking monster boi out...lmao what a hypocrite
> 
> i can't wait till he sees the bigger knife...and the other bigger "knife"...heehee
> 
> also yup yup monster boi's flameless....in my head he looks similar to what he looks like in canon but with less color...idk lol


	7. Settling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been an entire month since i updated so here's a long one to make up for it fjkdsjkdk

Its chatter had died down, but as Optimus stripped the trees of their branches and needles, he continued to feel the heat of the fleshling’s gaze upon his back. He could not seem to shake the feeling that it was silently judging him. Perhaps having second thoughts, as well.

 _Cannot say I blame it_. What had he been thinking, coming at it with a blade like that? It was a miracle that the little creature had not broken its resolve and fled right there and then. He was fortunate to have been gifted a prospective mate that was as brave as it was desirable.

He stopped to check his knife, frowning at the plant matter now clumped inside the engraved runes. Yet another mess to clean up--but it was either this or more flecks of bark in his finger joints. Suppressing a hiss, he put it down and began to weave the nest together. The Ache had begun to stir while he had held the fleshling, and already it was pushing him to hurry so he could move on to the next step. It took all his strength to pay it no mind. His denmate’s sleeping space needed to be perfect, and wood was proving trickier for him to build with than metal would have been. Too many wrong moves and he could end up with nothing but a crumbled, splintered disaster.

A small, muffled growl grabbed his attention, tempting him to turn around. Optimus had again allowed space between the two of them in order to force himself to focus, while also giving the fleshling some breathing room and a bit more time to adjust. He had done well in ignoring it so far, despite his intense desire to scoop it up and hold it close, to nuzzle it and caress it, to make it moan and sigh and arch its spine...

Oh, what if it got itself stuck again? He must help it!

Reaching around to scratch his back, he casually glanced over his shoulder. At first he did not spot the fleshling, but to his relief he then noticed an odd-shaped lump undulating within the folds of the soft scrap of material he had dug up from his hoard. The material was much like the coverings fleshlings wore, except that one was more of a square shape—or at least it was when he had found it abandoned at the riverside while the previous offering was still alive. He hoped his fleshling did not mind the tattered edges and the holes that had worn through over the seasons.

All of a sudden, the edge of the blanket flapped up, and out popped a wad of white. It took Optimus a moment, but once it landed on the floor with a wet slap, it dawned upon him that the fleshling was shedding. Now that was something he had never witnessed before!

Forgotten was his plan to remain inconspicuous, so fascinated was he. So when the fleshling poked its head out and locked eyes with him, they _both_ jumped. He caught a glimpse of its bared torso before it scrambled to wrap the worn material tighter around itself. In the next instant Optimus whipped back around to face the task at hand, but it was too late: his spark was aflutter, and the Ache throbbed ever harder.

If this fleshling’s behavior was anything to go by, its kind were apparently incredibly self-conscious about their bodies, always shedding and changing their coverings in private. What was so special under there that needed to be kept hidden?

Was baring one’s flesh equivalent to baring one’s spark?

Optimus fidgeted, suddenly feeling unbearably hot.

 _Take_. _Need_. _Mine_.

“Concentrate,” he growled to himself, fingers trembling as he worked in the final piece. The wood creaked and groaned in protest; it was his only warning before a large splinter embedded itself into a seam in his hand. It pricked him hard enough to make him grunt—however, to his dismay, it pleasured him more than it hurt him. His body, he realized, was already becoming more sensitive. Before long, anything touching him that irritated him now will gradually drive him mad with desire later on.

Soon will come a day all throughout which he will need to grind against something, and his fleshling will likely witness every moment of it…!

“Huuuh--umm.” Optimus masked his moan with a thoughtful hum as he plucked out the splinter and flicked it. At least, he hoped he sounded like he was humming, and not performing the mating call that it truly was. To not hide it would have been ideal as well as natural, but given the circumstances, he wanted to restrain himself for as long as he could, just in case the fleshling was having second thoughts about him—even though its facial expressions and its scent have time and again signaled otherwise.

Frustration mounting, he quickly swept up the grass and needles from the floor and filled the nest with them, then twisted around to reach up into the nook for the energon the fleshling had left behind. He brought the crystals to his mouth, parted his lips—and hesitated. A handful of blue energon was good for temporary satisfaction for a full day or two; the only downside was that the Ache always returned with a mighty vengeance once the effects wore off. Correct usage and timing gave mated pairs among his kind a healthy clutch. Optimus, on the other hand, suffered punishment for tricking his body into preparing to make eggs, only for him to not get himself sparked in time.

It was a punishment he was used to dealing with by now.

But he finally found himself someone, so it was not really worth it this time around, was it? Would consuming it now not bring more trouble down the road? What if he lost total control?

 _I’m about to lose control of myself right now_!

Either way, his fleshling could get hurt.

With this sobering thought in mind, Optimus sat there staring at the energon, unsure how to proceed. He knew it was not too late. He could take the fleshling to the ruins right now, and let it go before this mistake turned into yet another tragedy he could have prevented.

 _Or_ …

 _Or perhaps_ …

In the end, instead of consuming it all, he selected a single loop of crystals and popped it into his mouth, setting aside the rest as he crunched away with a stubborn growl. This was his one chance to have a mate. No fear or doubt was about to sway him so easily. He was going to make this work, one way or another, and if he had to treat himself with tiny portions over a longer period of time to do so, then so be it. He will just have to be extra cautious, and remain vigilant—

A cough behind him sent him springing to his feet, tensed and ready to fight.

“Who challenges me?” he boomed, armor flaring. Then he looked down and immediately wilted in embarrassment. “Oh. You. Of course.”

Pale-faced and wide-eyed, the fleshling gawked up at him from around a rock, behind which it had ducked in response to his outburst. Its head-fur was mussed and almost dry, and the old blanket was still tightly wrapped around its body like a cocoon.

“Easy.” Optimus slowly sank back into a crouch, cooing softly to help calm the fleshling. It pleased him to see how quickly the little creature recovered from such a fright; not a minute passed and it was already leaving its cover and approaching him once more.

It coughed again, then squeaked: “Your, uh, little torch? It ran out.”

He had to follow its pointing finger to understand. The log he had lit was now half-blackened and giving off nothing but a thin curl of smoke. He could not help but also notice that the fleshling’s white covering was draped over a stalagmite, drying safely out of the smoke’s reach.

“I see,” he rumbled nonchalantly, trying desperately not to dwell on the intimacy of this encounter for too long. His fingers twitched as his instincts screamed at him to pick up the fleshling and never let go. He had not expected it to approach him like this—silently, without warning, wrapped up in a flimsy layer that could drop at any moment! Why was it being so bold all of a sudden?

The fleshling stood there staring at him, as though waiting for him to do something.

Optimus waited, too.

It tilted its head.

Optimus awkwardly shifted his weight from one foot to the other. The movement caught its attention, and after a sparkbeat’s hesitation, it walked right up and rapped its knuckles on his foot. It was a strange yet innocent act, but even that tiny bit of soft, gentle contact was enough to rip a ragged gasp from his throat.

 _It wants me it wants me it wants me it wants me take it take it take it_ —

“Look,” he managed to choke out, frantically jabbing a finger at the nest. “Look! See what I made for you?”

It stopped knocking and looked, but it was still so close, too close! Biting back a groan, Optimus gathered up his willpower, plucked up the fleshling, and gently dropped it into the nest before he could think twice. It yelped as it landed with a bounce on the spongy bedding, grass flying and legs flailing as it struggled to upright itself without letting go of its makeshift covering. Sputtering and shaking its head, it looked about itself in bewilderment, then shot Optimus a glare that clearly read: _Was that really necessary_?

“My apologies,” Optimus grunted, the corners of his mouth twitching. In spite of his internal battle, he was amused at the sight of all those pine needles sticking out from the little creature’s head-fur. He reached in with a finger and tested the bedding. “Is it comfortable enough for you?”

Though it seemed confused about what was happening, it caught on fairly quickly, copying Optimus by pressing down with its little hands. It made a “huh!” sound, then bounced up and down a bit on its rear end, chattering: “This is rather nice, actually. But…what is it for?”

The way it looked up at him was enough for Optimus to understand what the question-sounds meant. “A nest, for you. From now on, you may lie next to me, with my body shielding you from the cold,” he purred. “My den is your den, and I will do everything in my power to care for you, to protect you, to fulfill your every wish and desire, this I vow.”

Traditionally, a prospective mate within his own species would respond to this with either a forehead-touch or a hiss.

The fleshling’s answer was a blank stare and an “Uh...”

“Never mind,” Optimus rumbled with amusement. “You will understand my intentions soon enough, my fleshling.” The Ache throbbed—now dulled by the energon, but still very present and very annoying. Frowning, Optimus averted his gaze, adding under his breath, “Perhaps sooner than we both think...”

The beat of silence that followed was broken by excited rustling. He returned his gaze to the fleshling in time to see it fish out a yellow wildflower from the bedding and stuff it into its mouth.

“What are you doing?”

It glanced up at him, still chewing, and offered up another yellow flower. “Dandelion?”

“No, you keep it. That’s supposed to be part of your nest, for sleeping in.”

The fleshling shrugged and popped that flower into its mouth, too.

“Stop eating th--!” Optimus cut himself off as he observed how eagerly his fleshling was munching. His spark sank as he realized his grave mistake. “Why, you are starving, aren’t you? I’m sorry, it…it has slipped my mind…”

 _So much for vowing to care for your mate_ , he cursed himself bitterly.

Oblivious to Optimus’s wave of self-hatred, the fleshling began to dig deeper into its bedding, rooting out whatever it deemed edible. Surprisingly, it did not appear too upset about the fact that he had forgotten to feed it. He hoped that meant that it had already forgiven him.

“I will never overlook this again,” Optimus promised.

After a while, the fleshling stopped and wiped its face with its arm, muttering something that sounded like “any more and I’ll turn into a bloody cow,” whatever that meant. Pulling its blanket tighter, it reclined with a sigh, staring up at him with a thoughtful expression. Like Optimus was a great big puzzle that it was determined to figure out.

He decided right then that he rather liked being a puzzle, so long as that meant his fleshling will keep looking at him like that.

At last, it chattered: “I saw you nibbling on those crystals. So…I suppose at this point, it’s safe to say…that you won’t eat me after all.” Another long pause. “So what in blazes am I to you, then, if not food?”

Optimus took note to listen carefully to his denmate from here on out, so that he will eventually learn to understand what in pits the fleshling was babbling about. The noises, though odd, did not sound too difficult to imitate. Why not at least try?

Meanwhile, the fleshling prattled on: “A servant? A familiar? A—oh, gods, don’t tell me—a pet?”

“Puh. _Pet_ ,” Optimus repeated.

The fleshling’s face drained of color.

Oh, dear. Had he cursed at it?

“Er, no! No,” he corrected in the fleshling’s language, using his hands to cancel out what he said. “No pet!”

“Oh,” went the fleshling, sagging with relief. It ran a hand down its face, then looked back up at him, its eyes brightening. “Ah, I see what you’re trying to do. Um, here, try this one.” It pointed at itself. “Cade.”

He hesitated, uncertain if he was supposed to repeat that.

It nodded at him to continue. “Cade.”

“Cay?”

“You’re close. Cade,” it repeated, stressing the “d” sound.

“Cayda?”

“No. Cade.”

“Cade,” said Optimus, and as soon as he said it he knew it was right and good, for that was what his fleshling called itself. Purring, he gently poked his denmate in the chest. “Cade!”

“Y-yes,” said Cade, red in the cheeks. “And…you are?”

“Optimus,” said Optimus, pointing at himself.

“Ah…piti…mous…?” The fleshling scratched its head. “Oof, now _that_ …that is a bit of a mouthful...”

But Optimus did not mind the butchering. He was far too ecstatic. All that mattered to him was that he knew the name to call, the name to cry out, the name of the one that was to be his mate.

 _Cade_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so how about that movie huh?  
> gotta love them cade/optimus feels
> 
> hopefully the next chapter won't take like a month to hit the internet lol oops


	8. Rousing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay, another one! thanks for your patience!  
> in case anybody's wondering, yes, they'll eventually get each other's pronouns down...it'll be a while yet but they'll get there.  
>  just give 'em more time to get used to each other first lol  
> 

As Cade resurfaced from a deep sleep, he felt so comfortable and at peace at first that he thought he was back home in his own bed, with the window across the room propped open. He swore he heard the babbling brook that ran behind his tiny cottage, and he could just smell the fragrance of pine and lush spring grass on the warm breeze that caressed his skin.

Then the breeze gave a rather metallic snore, and he remembered everything.

His eyes fluttered open to darkness. Swallowing, he tasted the bitter remnants of dandelion trapped between his molars. Something was caught in his beard, tickling his lip. With a confused mumble he raised a hand to his jaw, then made a face when he discovered that a fresh layer of grass had been strewn over him while he was out. As he sat up to shake his head and brush himself off, his blanket fell from around his shoulders, baring his back to the next blast of warm wind.

Correction: hot breath.

He shivered and quickly hiked the blanket back up. Biting his lip, he turned toward the source of the “wind,” but all he could make out in front of the indigo light of dusk was a giant, dark lump. Judging from the shape of the silhouette, he deduced that the beast was sleeping on its side, its body curled around the crude bed it had built for him.

“Oh, ho, _now_ you settle down next to me,” Cade murmured with a wry smile. “Finally tuckered yourself out, didn’t you?”

It hummed in its sleep, but did not stir. Cade was not too surprised; from the moment they exchanged names, his—owner?—master?— _host_ had seemed far too excited to sit still. It had moved him, bed and all, onto the ledge where it had left him the first time, and with a firm grunt it had motioned for him to stay put. Cade, then dazed with wonder and bewilderment, had not even bothered to protest.

Throughout the remainder of the morning and over the peak of midday, it had kept itself busy: tidying up its cave, grooming its armor, fetching Cade water, rearranging possessions that probably did not require rearranging. It returned frequently to check on him, but to Cade’s frustration it remained tightlipped and kept its visits brief, almost as though it was afraid to stay close to him for too long. At one point it even left the cave entirely. Around then was when Cade succumbed once more to the exhaustion that had built up inside him over the past several sleepless nights, in spite of his desire to further observe and interact with the creature whose name he could not pronounce.

Ahpitimous. Or was it Otipumos? No, no, it was Op-something. Op-something, which ended with an ‘s’. Everything in between had been difficult to distinguish through all the clicks and gruff noises that made up the language of metal monsters. It was spoken so quickly that for all Cade knew, the beast’s name could be dozens of letters long, if he included all those impossible sounds.

_I’ll have to settle with a best guess_ , he noted.

Implying he survived under its care long enough to do so, of course. Speech and humanlike features aside, it was still wild at its core; he knew now how jumpy it could get when spooked. Its manhandling was seldom rough, but it gave him hardly any warnings, and there were times it had moved him around a little too fast. He remained clueless as to what its true intentions were. And on top of everything else was the glaring fact that none of the past sacrifices were ever seen or heard from again—surely _something_ tragic and horrifying had happened to them?

But despite all these concerns, and although it went against everything society had pounded into his brain all his life, Cade was slowly starting to believe that the beast truly did not want to hurt him, let alone kill him. For whatever reason, it seemed to like him. At the very least, it probably thought he was too cute to gnaw on. If _that_ was the case…well, Cade was not too sure how to feel about that, actually…

_Never mind_ , he snapped at himself, for at present, he had another, more pressing concern—literally. His bladder felt like it was going to burst if he sat here any longer.

“Op—” he began at a normal volume, then hesitated. The beast seemed so peaceful that he could not bear the thought of disturbing it. Plus, he had a feeling it would follow him around and hover over him while he sought privacy. Fidgeting and grimacing, he climbed to his feet and searched the surrounding gloom frantically, struggling to discern a place where he could sneak around the beast without waking it. In doing so he ended up stubbing his toe on the curved piece of bark that the creature had used to bring him water earlier that day.

Hissing a curse and rubbing his stinging foot, he decided right then that he could simply climb right over the beast in the time it would take him to fumble around for an alternate route. In his urgency he easily convinced himself that he could make it over before it realized he was even there. So, taking a deep breath, he clambered over the tree limbs that lined his bed and began hoisting himself up and onto its body, using one hand to climb while the other kept his blanket closed.

Its snores stalled. Armor trembled beneath his touch, causing him to slip a few times. To Cade it seemed that it was growing warmer the further he went. He broke out in a sweat as the beast emitted a low whimper, then a grunt…and then a great big moan that shook the cave.

“Wh-what the hell?” Cade blurted, freezing on the spot at the noise. Not because it was loud, but because it sounded so…so—his face burst aflame as he shook his head at himself. _You would think that now of all times_!

With that, he climbed faster, not giving himself time to think about the noises the beast was making beneath him, not daring to question why this was giving him vivid flashbacks to the night before. Soon he was clumsily sliding down the other side, the force of his landing almost knocking the piss right out of him. He stopped to listen to the creature pant and whine, holding his breath when metal scraped stone as it writhed in its sleep.

Once the beast had quieted down somewhat, he felt his way down the ledge. By the time he reached the floor, he was tempted to relieve himself on the spot, but since he was a civilized human being thank-you-very-much, he paused a moment to figure out where he ought to go. He could not just pick a corner, for every corner was basically part of someone’s house. There was even less light now to guide him anyhow; he had hoped to retrieve his dress while he was down here, but he could not even make _that_ out through the darkness.

The most logical—and polite—option was to go outside.

Like a rock wall the plummeted temperature met him head-on as he rushed out into the twilight. He shrank into himself, pulling his blanket around tighter than ever and gritting his teeth against a chill that felt absolutely brutal compared to the beast’s warmth. No way was he going to stand around gawking at the scenery this time!

Unwilling to waste another second, he cautiously approached the edge farthest from the entrance and went, swearing bloody murder at the cold and praying all the while that he would not lose his balance.

He had no sooner backed up and readjusted the skimpy rag his dressmakers called an undergarment than a furious bellow resonated from inside the cave.

Cade unleashed a startled holler, whipping around so fast that he released his blanket, almost losing it to the wind before he caught it by the corner. His heart hammered in tandem to the rapidly approaching stomps as he struggled with the twisted material. At the last moment he gave up and simply slapped it over the front side of his body with his arms, leaving his practically-nude backside out to withstand the elements as the beast came tearing out of the cave in a snarling, bristling rage.

Sparks flashed from its feet as it skidded to a halt, its purple glare darting left and right as though anticipating a fight, before zeroing in on him. The beast froze, its growls cutting off with an alarmed click. Its armor flattened, but its body remained tense.

“Cade.”

Cade let out a shaky gasp that he did not even realize he had sucked in.

“No.” Its voice was rough from sleep and tight with a mixture of relief, unease, and restraint. With lighter, more cautious steps, it approached with its hands gesturing at him to _Stay_. “Cade, no.”

“‘No,’ what?” Cade stammered, internally urging himself to calm down for once in his life. Unfortunately, calming oneself down was a rather difficult feat in the face of an unpredictable, irresistible beast, naked ass or no naked ass, and in his case, his naked ass was definitely not helping matters. He was too afraid of dropping the blanket again to attempt covering it up, though. “What, you thought you lost me? I’m still here, see? I wasn’t going anywhere—I just had to _go_ , is all.”

“Cade?” Seemingly oblivious to his reassurances, the beast crouched and stretched its hands toward him, fingers beckoning, eyes desperate.

He was not about to lie to himself: He loved how his name sounded from those lips, in that deep, gruff voice. Not until that moment did he realize how much he had longed to hear the creature say it again, how much he had yearned for it to say anything to him again. But oh, why could this exchange not have happened earlier, when the setting was less awkward? Why did it have to happen _now_ , with him caught naked out in the open, with a steep drop-off right behind him…?

Ah.

“For pity’s sake,” he blurted, incredulous, “don’t tell me you think I was about to jump off the mountain!” To prove his point, he moved further away from the edge in three lengthy, exaggerated steps, forgetting that he was walking right into the beast’s waiting grasp until its eager hands cupped around him. “There, crisis averted— _whoa_!”

There was yet another drastic change in temperature, one that left him breathless. Everything was so hot, and not at all in an uncomfortable way, either.

Cade squirmed helplessly as he fought to regain his bearings. One by one the sensations from his surroundings made more and more sense. The palm he was sitting in was very warm against his exposed flesh, but not as warm as the breath that was washing over him as the beast took in his scent and looked him over. A relieved purr thrummed around him, a sound that gradually grew slower and deeper as the beast’s thumb gently stroked his bare shoulder, making him blush and tremble.

Trying to think about anything other than the fact that its hand and his buttocks were in direct contact, he stared into its eyes, only to be greeted with déjà vu. The beast had woken up starving for something, clearly something only he could provide, but how could that be? There was nothing on him for it to lick and nibble this time…was there?

“Op…timus?” Cade choked, feeling uncertain and afraid, yet strangely giddy all at once. On a whim, he reached around and patted the intruding thumb, which had begun to venture down his side, mere hairs away from brushing the blanket from out of his grip. “I told you, it’s all right. I’m right here, Optimus.”

The beast, Optimus, quivered in response.

“Sh, easy now.” He gave its thumb a few more pats, then exchanged arms so he could stroke its palm. “Why don’t we go back inside? This is getting silly.”

But his petting did not calm Optimus—it actually seemed to do the opposite. Its breathing quickly turned to outright panting, and when Cade stretched up to touch its cheek, it stumbled back a step with a whimper.

“Shit!” Cade gasped, clinging to the fingers that curled around him upon instinct. Now the beast’s grip was all that was holding the blanket up. _Oh, just perfect_! “S-sorry, I was only trying to—”

“Rrrrugh…Cade…help…”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Help,” Optimus groaned, begging him with its eyes.

Both Cade’s mind and heart raced. “Help you with what? Are you…are you hurt?”

“Help?” Lifting him higher, it tipped its head forward. Its gaze never strayed from him, conveying intense restraint as it peeked up at him from beneath its gleaming brow. It murmured something in its language, something that sounded very much like a plea.

“All right, all right.” Cade nodded as he reached up to pat the beast’s forehead, right on the base of the elegant crest. “Yes, I’ll try to help you, but you must be more specific! _Show_ me.”

The words were barely past his lips when Optimus gave an excited shout, spooking Cade’s legs into a brief, frantic paddle through thin air.

And in the next instant, the beast’s mouth was upon him.

Cade stiffened in shock and disbelief. He did not know what he was expecting, but a reenactment of their first encounter with each other was close to the bottom of his list of possibilities. Optimus had been acting so aloof around him earlier that day that he had already convinced himself that something like this would only ever happen again in his own fantasies.

_This is too good to be true_!

In spite of his initial onslaught of befuddlement and denial, he gradually relaxed as its lips caressed his chest ever so gently, then melted as it flicked out its tongue for a taste. So lost was he in the moment that he had not a clue exactly when the beast’s hand flattened and blossomed back open, allowing his blanket to pool across his lap, leaving everything else free for the taking. Its breath smothered him, hot and wild and earthy, so thick and heavy that soon he too was panting for air as it pressed its nose against his chest, right where its tongue had touched him.

“Cade,” it growled.

“Opti…Optim— _oh_!” Cade’s breath faltered as its tongue returned to trail from his chest to his belly. Right away he started kicking, desperately snatching at the blanket to keep it from flying off. “Oh, not there, nottherenottherenotthere!”

With a blast of hot air from the flared plating that made up its nose, the beast withdrew, but only slightly. Cade could feel its eyes boring into him as he took a few seconds to recover. When he finally looked up, he was taken aback once more, for he found nothing but savagery and possessiveness in those dark eyes, nothing that betrayed whatever restraint it had left, if any.

It terrified him, oh yes it did.

And yet…even now, there was still a part of him that did not want Optimus to stop. He wanted to know what was supposed to happen next. Hell, he was not too shy to admit that he was more than curious to find out how this would eventually end.

But now was not the appropriate time. He did not feel prepared. He did not feel clean.

On top of all that, now that he had another chance to think it over, he did not feel _right_.

None of this felt right.

He was not even certain if this was what he thought it was. With his luck going the way it was here lately, he would not be too surprised if he was overthinking the beast’s behavior. Perchance Optimus was only grooming him or marking him with its scent or something, and Cade just so happened to get aroused by it?

His heart sank. _I really need to quit getting my hopes up_ …

Optimus spun and carried him inside, jolting him back to reality. He gulped as the darkness engulfed everything save for the beast’s glowing eyes. Its rumbles echoed off the walls around them, rolling on and on like a thunderstorm. As it settled back down on its ledge, its finger traced the curve of his shoulders before wandering down his back, massaging never-ending circles into his skin.

“Stop,” Cade grunted, pushing against the finger. “Please, that’s enough. I can’t even see what’s happening.”

Its eyes suddenly advanced, his only warning before he felt its tongue tickle his clavicle.

Cade moaned as it snuck in another quick lick, but he managed to raise his arms to shove against its face. “ _No_. No more.”

At once, Optimus pulled away to regard him. The wildness gradually gave way to confusion.

“…No?”

“That’s what I said. No.”

It stared at him, body trembling, armor rattling, a low whine building up in its throat. More emotions showed through. Hurt. Doubt. Anger. Disgust. Then, finally, its eyes bobbed in a sharp nod.

“No,” Optimus agreed.

Cade felt his heart wrench. “Um…no hard feelings?”

Optimus gave a frustrated growl, but other than that Cade did not receive a vocal reply, neither before nor after the beast deposited him into his pine needle bed. Swiftly he flipped onto his back and pulled the blanket over himself, but Optimus was already hurrying toward the exit, groaning something under its breath.

“Hold on a minute. Wait!” Cade called out, but the beast was already gone, and its overpowering warmth went soon after. The tracings of a new scent lingered in the air, something foreign and sweet, but Cade was too distraught to pay much attention to it. “Optimus…”

Fisting his hair in both hands, he fell back with a soft bounce and a harsh curse. What on earth did he just do?

More importantly: What on earth just happened?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all he wanted to do was pee  
> smh


	9. Chasing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy crap, MAJOR shout out to any and all who still continue to check on this fic for updates lol...sorry about that! again!
> 
> i've already started working on the chapter after this one so stay tuned!

Everything inside him was burning, yet the old favorite between his thighs was failing him. Nothing made sense anymore.

As the river’s currents rushed past his legs, Optimus paused to reposition himself upon the boulder, hands grasping either side of it for dear life as any of his kind would grip their partner. A particular protrusion in the stone met with his swollen opening with just the right amount of pressure, enough for him to pretend that it was someone else’s spike rubbing against him. Panting, whimpering, he continued to mimic the motions he had witnessed from afar time and again.

_Please, please, please, more, more, more_ …

Fluids ran free from his opening, staining the stone and his thighs. His spike, having emerged from its sheath and now fully erect, twitched and bounced in time to the rhythm of his frantic rutting. Usually these sensations were enough to carry him to his peak. This time, it seemed as though something crucial was missing.

_Please_ …

Rearing his head back, he opened his mouth to roar out his frustration—but then he stopped, for through the thick, Aching fog of rage and lust, the urge to keep quiet pushed itself into the forefront of his mind. He had nearly forgotten, but he was still somewhat close to his den. If his fleshling had yet to hear him, it surely would hear him now.

_Cade_ …

His spark gave a painful twist, but his regret was soon overshadowed by his primal desires. Instead of picturing another metal body beneath him as he always did, he found himself replacing it with the fleshling’s naked, writhing form. Of course it was wildly unrealistic, for Cade was tiny compared to him—but Optimus was all for using his imagination at this point.

Already he could feel the firm softness beneath his palms. Tensing. Quivering. Hips rising to meet his movements. Round, excited eyes watching his, never straying. Face contorting into a cry of pleasure. Head tilting back, exposing a lickable throat. His name slipping from those lips, the pronunciation so simple, plain, bare, raw…

He could almost smell Cade, the image felt so real. So good.

_Yes, yes, yes_!

He came hard and fast through both his parts, almost simultaneously and without warning. A shocked, ecstatic yelp escaped him before he could snatch it back, but he managed to bite his arm in time to muffle any further announcements of his climax. His spark danced within his chest as his hips slowed to a grinding, stuttering halt; then, sensing no other presence with which to merge, it gradually resigned.

Exhaustion dragged him downward. He did not fight it.

When he regained consciousness, he found himself half-in, half-out of the river, with the stars still twinkling above him. His body hurt, his spark was heavy, and his insides churned with self-disgust. Mud squelched beneath him as he sat up; he looked down at himself to discover that his armor was caked with filth. It will take ages for him to feel clean again, from the inside out.

“I deserve this,” he muttered, hiding his face in his hands. He could not believe he let himself get off to Cade after what had just happened. “Oh, what have I done?”

He had been handling it all so well. But right when he was sure that his careful planning would work, everything suddenly fell to pieces. For a reason he could not remember, he had awoken extremely aroused. Then followed one spark-attack after another: the sight of Cade’s empty nest; the sound of Cade’s startled cry from outside the den; the fear that he had somehow been found out, _invaded_ without him knowing, and had Cade snatched away from him.

Cade, mere steps away from the edge of the cliff…exposed…flushed…breathless…

And then…oh, Optimus could not bear to revisit _that_ particular bungle-up. But he knew he must face his mistake sooner or later. He must face Cade, as well as the fact that the fleshling will likely turn him down again, and again, and again, no matter what its scent betrayed. Optimus could bring as much food and drop as many hints as he wanted, could groom himself till his armor was beyond pristine and worthy of admiration, but none of it would lead anywhere—especially not after tonight.

_Apologize_.

But how? And what if it did not work?

Two purple lights glared back up at him from the shallows, as luminescent as the dark energon that had once led him astray, but nowhere near as tempting. In fact, the sight made him want to retch. With a grimace he averted his gaze from his reflection, massaging his scar and feeling rather hollow.

“If it isn’t meant to be,” he murmured, voice cracking, “then I ought not to force it.”

He will apologize, and then he will take Cade to the crumbled fleshling-den. The decision broke his spark at present, but deep down he knew that both he and the fleshling will get along just fine living apart from each other. More importantly, Cade will be safe, at least from him.

_But will we be happy_?

He gave himself a wash, but his spark was not into it. Eventually he sprawled on the ground, staring blankly up at the stars as his armor dried off, not caring that there was still some mud trapped in the seams.

What to give Cade as an apology? Certainly not more grass. Perhaps a different type of sustenance would be best…something big. The fleshling did seem to have a ravenous appetite, and after all, it was going to need a fair amount to get by while it settled in among the ruins.

At once Optimus knew what he had to do, and he shuddered. Out here, he had no tools but his own two hands. The gore, that _smell_ getting all over him…he hated the thought of it, but he was more than willing to do it for the fleshling, especially now that he had failed it.

Though it was still fairly dark, the tiny flying-creatures had begun their morning song. Sighing, he pushed himself up to his knees to survey the surrounding land. He listened, scented the air, but though he detected all sorts of fur and musk and dirt wafting from within the forest, he was unsure which trail to focus on first.

He refused to let that deter him, however. As far as he could tell from Cade, fleshlings did not even have a keen sense of smell. If they could track their prey, so could he.

All of a sudden, a memory brought forth a good lead: on his way to collect Cade from the offering-place, he had passed through a large clearing in which he spotted a few four-leggeds fleeing for tree cover. The clearing was not far from here, and unless he was mistaken, it smelled like the creatures were still in that area.

“…Right.” Climbing to his feet, he stretched, then set off. “Time to get this over with.”

Not to his surprise, stalking through the forest in complete silence was impossible for one his size. He was practically tiptoeing, all the while suspecting he looked ridiculous, yet with every slow step came a loud crunch. Sticks were poking into him from all angles, constantly threatening to wrench a snarl or groan from him, but by some miracle he managed to make hardly a single peep.

At last the clearing was in sight, its long grasses sparkling with dew under the soft light of dawn. He stopped and crouched, only slightly discouraged that he could not see any movement through the branches that shielded him. The scent was strong; he knew they were out there somewhere. All he had to do was to remain still, long enough for them to think he had vanished. Simple.

So he waited. And waited.

The shadows shifted as the sun prepared to peek over the mountains. By now he was becoming impatient. Any longer and his joints could lock up—

A brown, antlered shape rose from where it hid in the grass, balancing on four spindly legs.

Optimus tensed.

The fur-creature took a few cautious steps, then it, too, stiffened. It turned its head to look right in his direction.

_Now, nownownow_!

Panicking, he sprang into the clearing with a roar, expecting the creature to freeze in terror at the noise. Instead, it wheeled around even before he revealed himself, already bounding away from him by the time he realized his tactic did not work.

“Oh no, you don’t,” he growled, tearing after it. He could not fail Cade again!

The fur-creature streaked ahead, leaping into the forest with grace and ease.

Optimus dove…

…and crashed face-first into a thorny thicket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmm whatcha say


	10. Worrying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and the monthly update curse continues!  
> fair warning: i'll be going on vacation in less than 2 weeks, so maybe expect another long wait. yup that's right, i give up trying to pump these out faster lol. they'll come out when they come out, end of discussion!

At the first roar Cade froze, but he did not look up from his work. While tossing and turning throughout the night, he had heard the occasional distant snarl or clang—a temper tantrum, no doubt. One that he had caused. Though it did not hurt him any less, he had grown somewhat used to it by now.

However, the second roar was much louder and more terrible. There was pain behind it, intense enough to make him drop the piece of rock that barely substituted for a drawing utensil. Crooked lines and illegible notes forgotten, he sprang up and rushed to the cave’s mouth.

Though he was now clothed, his dress was no better than the blanket at keeping him warm, and the sun’s morning rays had yet to penetrate the chill. Hugging himself, he searched the landscape below for a sign of movement, a flash of armor, anything. Stifling ridiculous images of freak accidents, he cupped his hands around his mouth and called the creature’s name, but to his dismay a gust of wind blew his shout right back into his face. No use; surely he was too high up to be heard, anyhow? After watching and listening in vain for several more minutes, he threw his hands up in frustration and went back inside.

“I must have offended it to death,” he jested without an ounce of humor in his voice. “Well, that’s that, then! Problem solved, right? Cade Beastslayer—eh, I suppose I like the sound of that.”

He did not like it, actually. Not one bit.

Hoisting himself back up onto the sleeping ledge, he went to sit in front of the wall by his nest-bed again, hoping to get lost in another brainstorm before he drove himself insane. He retrieved the rock, raised his arm, then stopped to frown at his schematic. Now that he had taken a break, he realized that it made even less sense than before—and he was the one who drew the bloody thing! To make matters worse, what was supposed to be a pair of miniature wheels looked more like a familiar pair of eyes…

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it,” he groaned, bumping his head repeatedly against the wall.

Doing this did not help clear his mind very well, but he still continued his work. As the minutes wore on, what had started out as something simple (to him, anyway) transformed into a great contraption that had no rhyme or reason. When he at last dropped the rock again to flex his cramped hand, he looked over the mess he made and shook his head in disbelief. Perhaps artists more eccentric than he would have approved, but this was not like him.

“Seems I’m losing my touch…”

Just then a mournful groan from outside sent him leaping to his feet, his heart performing joyful backflips.

“Optimus!”

At first he was unable to move, for he was caught unprepared. All this time worrying himself sick, and he never considered what he ought to say or do. _Dare I even look it in the eye_?

But as the sounds of the beast’s ascent gradually became louder, something about its slow, almost lopsided pacing pushed him into action. Down the ledge he went once more. Walking, then sprinting, he reached the mouth just as Optimus crested the cliff’s edge. Sunlight bounced off its armor and straight into Cade’s eyes, stopping him in his tracks. By the time he managed to blink away the spots, the beast was already up, practically dragging its feet as it approached him.

“Welcome back,” Cade greeted, brow creasing with concern as he took in its appearance. Its armor was streaked with dirt, its shoulders were drooping as though in defeat, and it was regarding him warily out of the corner of its right eye—and only its right eye, for it was covering the scarred side of its face with its hand. None of these signs were what he would call good. “Er…are you…all right? As in physically?”

It caught him staring at its covered eye and immediately turned that side of its head away from view with a growl.

“Ah, I see.”

Cade bit his lip to prevent himself from pressing further. At present, pestering Optimus was the last thing he wanted to do. He was not certain he could bear being left alone yet again, and so soon after so long. The best approach, he decided, was to express how sorry he was before saying anything else.

“Optimus, I…I hope you can forgive me. About…you know. Whatever-that-was.” He cringed inwardly, then blurted: “Listen, I lost my nerve, all right? I’m not used to—that is, I’ve never—” Oh, dear. There his cheeks went, heating up again. “I’m not exactly an expert on how people work in the first place, and you’re not even a people—person— _human_ , I mean human!” He pinched the bridge of his nose, wishing more than anything that the mountain would swallow him up. “Ugh…not that you know what I’m prattling on about, anyway…but my apology still stands.”

He peeked up in time to see it squinting down at him. Swiftly, it turned away again to stare out into the distance, mumbling something to itself.

“Oh.” Cade’s heart plummeted. Gods, did he ever feel like an ass. “Well, that’s fine. I understand.”

He expected it to stomp past him then, or at least continue to ignore him. Instead, its face softened in a way only a metal face could. Heaving a sigh that seemed to sap what little energy it had left, it opened its fist and glanced at whatever it apparently had brought home with it. It scowled at it with displeasure, then quickly controlled its expression the moment it noticed Cade was still watching. After a heartbeat’s hesitation, it turned to face him and sank into a kneel, murmuring something to him in its language as it bowed forward till its forehead touched the ground. Cade’s lips parted to voice his bewilderment, but he continued to watch in silence as it extended its arm toward him, its fist still curled. Even while in this awkward position, its other hand remained cupped over its face, its good eye checking his reaction with several quick glances.

Right then, with a surge of surprise and hope, Cade realized that he had misread the beast’s behavior. It was not angry at him as he had thought—rather, it seemed that Optimus, too, sought forgiveness and feared rejection.

Before he could ponder it further, its fist opened, revealing to him the thick globs of crimson smearing its palm. His eyebrows shot up.

“Are those…springberries? But it can’t be!” Reaching in, he picked up one of the few berries that were still intact among the mass of leaves and mush, and brought it up to his nose. Indeed, the scent was familiar, just as fresh and sweet as it was when he was very young. “Ha! Extinct, my left foot! Oh, Optimus, if only you knew how long it’s been…since...”

His voice trailed off as he tossed the rare treat into his mouth, and for a blissful moment he was taken back to a time when he thought he had a swell life ahead of him, despite the state of the outside world and the bleak future of humankind. Then his hunger—which he had ignored up till now—smothered his nostalgia in the next instant. Before he could stop himself he was diving in for more; the comparison to a small rodent nibbling grain from one’s palm slipped through his head, but he could not care less.

At last, Optimus focused on him—and did not avert its gaze.

Noticing this, Cade remembered himself, feeling guilty as he motioned for the creature to sit up. “Please, you don’t have to do that. I’m the one who chased you out of your own lair, remember?”

Optimus followed his instructions at a snail’s pace, as though afraid that Cade would change his mind if it made one wrong move. After a bit more encouragement, the beast was soon sitting in a more comfortable position, with its back against the “jamb” of the cave’s mouth. Cade then climbed onto a small ledge to sit next to it as it continued to feed him, the gap between them small yet respectful.

Later, as he sucked the sticky, sweet juice from his fingers, Cade watched the beast try to lick the remaining residue from its own hand. It jerked back, making a face at the taste, and he snickered, then immediately felt bad. For the hundredth time, his gaze traveled to the hand still shielding its eye.

“Say,” he asked gently, pointing so it would understand, “why don’t you let me have a look?”

Caught off guard, it paused mid-lick, looking his way before it remembered to stick its tongue back in. It narrowed its eye at his pointing finger, shook itself, and with a halfhearted growl, turned its injured side away from him again. There was a faraway look in its good eye as it gazed at the crags overlooking the opposite side of the valley.

Cade hesitated. He did not want to shatter the peace they had only recently rebuilt—were still rebuilding, actually—but that roar of agony was still fresh in his mind. There was no doubt that this creature was suffering all sorts of problems, and most seemed to be boiling inside it, far from his reach. But outside injuries…surely there was a way he could treat those? It was the least he could do.

Mustering his courage, he scooted closer. “I just want to help.”

Optimus’s thunder rolled. “No help.”

“…Please?”

The bristling armor along its back screeched against the stone wall as it stood up, making Cade wince and cover his ears. As he watched Optimus retreat into the cave, he noticed that both its hands were now over its face, clearly trying to pick something out before he could find out what was wrong. Swallowing his discouragement, he slid to the floor and jogged after the beast.

“Optimus, wait!”

Optimus started walking faster.

“Hilarious,” Cade remarked under his breath. He picked up speed as Optimus got onto the sleeping ledge. “I can climb up after you, you know!”

Growling, it made a shooing gesture, then turned its back on him. No further attempts to stop him were made as he clambered up and over, however.

“Hide in the corner…all you want,” Cade panted as he sauntered closer, hands on his hips. He was becoming a bit too old to be running back and forth like this. “I’m not…giving up…that easily.”

“Kssssssst,” went Optimus.

“That’s…heh…that’s quite the ferocious hiss, but I don’t think that’ll solve anything.”

He waited for a bit to give the creature a chance to turn back around and face him on its own, but Optimus was stubborn. It picked and scratched at its face, whimpering and visibly flinching every once in a while. Finally, Cade decided he could not stand watching it suffer anymore. He stepped closer still, reaching out and placing a soothing hand upon the side of its leg. Remembering last night’s intimate encounter, he held his breath and began to stroke gentle circles into the smooth metal.

Upon first contact the growling intensified, but it did not last longer than a few heartbeats. Once Cade started lightly scratching away the dried mud with his fingernails, Optimus was done for. As though under a spell, the mighty beast slowly began to melt: first to relax was the flared armor, followed by the shoulders, and then, at long last, the hands.

“Easy does it. That’s it.” Cade withdrew his hand and took a step back...and just as he had hoped would happen, Optimus peered down to see why he stopped. But his delight over his own cleverness was marred by the sight of the tangled mess caught in the beast’s eye. “What in—! How on earth did you manage—? Wait, wait, stop touching it! Come, come closer. Lower.”

The beast curled its lip in protest, but it was apparently tired of resisting his help. With a sigh that was borderline dramatic, it flopped onto its side, missing Cade’s nest-bed by a hair. Cade hurried to stand before Optimus’s face, eyes widening even more upon discovering that the tangled mess turned out to be a knot of wooden tendrils bearing thorns the length of his fingertips.

“Oof,” he grimaced in sympathy. “Those berries were the best morning meal I’ve had in ages, but it could have waited until _this_ was taken care of! Good gods!”

Upon further inspection, he realized that the knot had somehow wound up not in the eye itself, but through the eye _lid_. Cade was often otherwise…preoccupied whenever he was this close to Optimus’s face, so he had failed to notice this detail before, but each eyelid was made up of overlapping segments, rather than a single solid part. His fingers were just the right size to thread the tendrils through the spaces in between, he noticed. Yes, the task looked daunting, but he knew he could do it. He just needed to be careful.

“Hold still.”

Leaning in, he found one end and reached for it—

“RRRRRGH.”

The sharp snarl blasted him backward, ripping a holler out of him as he landed on his back. Groaning, ears ringing, he lifted his head up and gave Optimus a disapproving frown. “I didn’t even touch it!”

Meanwhile, Optimus had sat up so its head was out of his reach. It tried to grab the knot between two of its huge fingers, but at the first scrape of a thorn against its crystal-like eye, it barked out what sounded like an expletive and slammed its hand back down again. So much for the rumor about this particular beast’s invincibility.

“Stings that badly, eh?” Cade returned to his feet, rubbing his sore back as he approached once more. “All the better reason to try again.”

It took some coaxing, but soon he managed to lure the beast’s head back down. Without second thought, he reached up and patted Optimus’s cheek as he offered a small smile of encouragement. Its good eye blinked unhappily at him, but to his thrill, he sensed a layer of trust underneath. If he searched deeper into its gaze, what else might he find…?

_Focus, Cade_.

“I don't think I can prevent it from hurting you,” he warned Optimus, “but it can be pulled out in no time, so long as you cooperate. Please, _please_ , try not to move.”

This time, it clicked its good eye shut as he drew near. Its entire body was tense, but Cade could tell it was only bracing itself rather than preparing to jerk away from him, so without further ado he began the operation. Throughout, he continued to talk to Optimus in soft tones. Kept speaking in spite of the thorns pricking his fingers as he pinched them off. Kept soothing even as his patient spat and cursed and huffed in his face at every snag and scratch.

“Almost—ow, shit—almost got it.” At last, with one more tug, the final tendril came sliding out, faster and easier than he expected. The thorny vine almost smacked right into his legs before he dodged it with a whoop. “Ho! There it went!”

Finally rid of the torturous nuisance, the beast bolted up at once, its freed eye blinking nonstop, its jubilant cry ringing throughout the cavern. Nearly tripping over the vines, Cade stumbled backward and craned his head back to send a grin up to Optimus, but by then its hand was already swooping down to scoop him up into a safe cradle against its chest. From there he watched with satisfaction as the thorns got smashed beneath a vengeful fist. A growl of triumph began to build up within Optimus, seconds away from escalating to a roar.

“Sh, sh! Careful,” Cade laughed, plugging his ears, “otherwise at this rate you’ll end up with another sacrifice by nightfall!”

Thankfully it did quiet down, sparing his eardrums. After shooting one more glare at the defeated vines, it softened its gaze as it raised him closer to its face. The gentle nuzzle it gave him was platonic, harmless—and in Cade’s private opinion, far too brief.

“Cade,” it began, but no words in either language were needed. The gratitude in its eyes was clear as day.

“It wasn’t any trouble, Optimus,” Cade beamed.

And then he paused for a beat, for right then he noticed sorrow lurking behind the gratitude. A twinge of uncertainty sprouted inside his stomach. Something else was still bothering the beast. Something that it might have to figure out on its own, without his help. If only he could place what it was...

“…No trouble at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow! 10 chapters in and still no dick-licking? what gives??


	11. Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me @ ao3: binch u better not bury my update again or i'm gonna

His pride was bruised, and his eye still stung, but neither hurt Optimus as much as the sight of so many scratches on such small hands.

Though he longed to lick away the pain that Cade was surely experiencing, he managed to suppress the urge, lowering his cupped hands so that the fleshling was closer to his lap. By some miracle it had forgiven him, and now it had proven that it was willing to aid him, no matter how many times he tried to scare it off. To push the boundaries now would be most unwise; he may be a poor excuse for a mate, but at least he could control himself long enough for the two of them to part ways on good terms.

He expected Cade to lick its own injuries, but it paid them no mind. Readjusting its seat in his palm, it instead went right to work picking at the dried mud caught inside his finger seams, as though busying itself with wounded hands was the norm.

“Cade,” Optimus murmured, his voice catching slightly as tingles ran up his arm, “why are you being so kind to me?”

It glanced up at the sound of its name, eyes curious.

Before he could prevent them, his feelings came spilling out: “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve _you_. I can’t even find a decent meal for you without landing right on top of one while pursuing something entirely different!” With a gentle finger he blocked Cade from continuing to groom him, even though the sensation felt wonderful. “Again, I thank you, but…please, don’t make this more difficult than it has to be.”

His spark twisted as Cade’s smile drooped into a concerned frown at his somber tone. Mind scrambling for the right words, he fought to stick with his decision. Deep inside him, struggling to rise from its brief dormancy, the Ache seethed with rage at what he was about to do.

“I…I think it would be best for you if I…if we…”

And then his voice drifted off into silence, for at that moment he happened to shift his gaze to the fleshling’s nest—and the wall next to it, upon which were displayed some of the most peculiar markings he had ever seen. Markings that most definitely were not in that particular spot during the past four-thousand seasons.

“What,” he muttered, squinting, “is that?”

With a perplexed noise, the fleshling did a double take, then went: “Oh. Right.”

Optimus tilted his head, wondering why Cade was acting so sheepish. “You did this while I was absent, didn’t you? It looks…interesting, actually…”

But Cade rambled on, unaware that Optimus was not bothered: “Forgive me, it…it just occurred to me that I shouldn’t have done that. Don’t worry, I’ll rub it out. That’s one thing I’m good at—erasing things people don’t like.” It gave a soft chuckle, but the sound was not a happy one.

Meanwhile, Optimus studied the crude, foreign shapes. Though the image as a whole was strange, there was something fascinating about the details. Each one almost seemed to have an important purpose, like the parts that made up one’s metal body. Along the outskirts were tiny lines, made up of even tinier figures; they were simple and held no resemblance to any other runes he had seen, but they clearly meant something regardless.

“Why, you’re far more intelligent than I already thought,” Optimus observed, returning his gaze to the rather anxious fleshling in his hand. To his relief, he felt the tension start to ease out of its form. “You know an entire drawn language—that’s incredible! Where I’m from, there was another…but none of us could understand it.” In his mind’s eye he saw the blades he had tucked away in his hoard, and he shuddered. Both were familiar to him now as the darkness inside him, yet mysterious—and dangerous, one much more so than the other. “I…I never could even figure out what little of it I brought with me.”

What little he stole, actually. But Cade did not need to know that.

“Hold on a minute.” Its voice brought his attention back downward in time to see that smile appear once again, those eyes brimming with hope. “You…like it?”

Detecting disbelief in its voice, Optimus risked a comforting touch on its shoulder. “I’m not upset with you, Cade,” he reassured, hoping his eyes properly conveyed his approval. “Why would I be upset with you?”

This seemed to work wonders, for Cade radiated so much joy Optimus could have sworn he could smell it. The fleshling bounced a bit in his palm, so warm and excited he was afraid it might pop. “Nobody has ever—I can’t believe— _ha_! If only they were here to witness this! Wait.” It froze for a moment as something appeared to dawn upon it. “Oh, my—that’s right! I’m…I’m free, now. I can make anything I want, whenever I want, can’t I?” Clutching Optimus’s thumb for support, it stood and pointed up at him. “You could help me, if you like! Just imagine all the wondrous things we can create together…!”

It babbled on and on, so fast that Optimus could barely keep up. But somewhere in the middle of all the nonsense, he did pick up the word _Help_ —and that single word, combined with Cade looking up at him with such enthusiasm, was enough to crack him.

How? How could he possibly let Cade go, now? How could he deny those eyes?

The answer was simple: He could not. If it was not obvious before, the truth was staring him in the face at present. Despite every miscommunication and mishap thus far, the fleshling continued to like him, and it had already grown to value his company, as well. Valued it enough to mark a corner of their sleeping space as its own.

_It plans to stay_.

Joy of his own was filling his chest, now, but with great effort he kept it hidden. Just in case.

“Our discussion is not over,” he rumbled, poking the fleshling so it would calm itself and sit back down. Holding it close, he scooted out of the nook and stood up. As an afterthought, he plucked Cade’s blanket out from the nest and tucked it around its body before heading toward the exit. “I promised myself I would take you down the mountain. Whether you like it or not, you’ll have your chance to change your mind.”

_Please don’t please don’t please don’t_!

Out on the ledge, he blinked against an inconsiderate gust of wind that licked at his sensitive eye. His fingers curled around his charge, his grip gentle but firm as he turned so he was facing the mountain, then began the descent. Cade made a startled noise once it realized, too late, that they were going over the edge; he could feel its spark racing as it clung to his fingers, hunkering down inside his fist so that it would be out of the wind’s reach.

“Don’t be afraid,” Optimus cooed. “I will not drop you.”

He was more used to jumping and sliding his way down from cliff to cliff, but he knew Cade would not survive such forces. Thus, their journey down was slow, each step taken with great caution. After a while the fleshling seemed to regain its bravery, first craning its neck to view its immediate surroundings, then pushing itself up a bit so it could peer straight down.

At last he felt loose stones crunching beneath his feet. Turning back around, he slid down the final steep slope of the mountain’s base, disturbed rocks clacking and tumbling after his heels. The ground leveled out beneath them sooner than the fleshling could let out a yelp.

“You can relax now,” Optimus announced as they slowed to a stop. Crouching down, he lowered his hand till it brushed the grass.

He was patient as he waited for Cade to reluctantly climb off. When it finally did, it kept its hand on his, preventing him from standing up. Eyes wide and head-fur disheveled, it slowly, stiffly turned in a full circle, taking in the scenery as it clutched the corners of its blanket to its chest. Optimus thought it felt lost and overwhelmed—until its face whipped up to meet his again, beaming.

“Well! I can’t say I was expecting that,” it chirped at last, one corner of its mouth quirking higher than the other. “And here I thought I was supposed to be a house pet.”

“No pet,” Optimus reminded it in its tongue, even though he still had no idea what that meant.

Cade seemed to find that humorous.

When he was sure the fleshling was all right, Optimus stood and headed for the river. Not much to his surprise, the soft pitter-patter of small feet followed close behind him. _So many places where it can run and hide_ , he noted with a burst of happiness, _yet it still runs after me_.

On the bank, he showed the fleshling one of the many tiny streams that came pouring in from the mountains, for those like it smelled cleaner than the river. As Cade rinsed its injuries and drank its fill, he stood guard nearby, ready to snatch it away from any dangers that might strike. This of course led him to wonder how Cade would be able to defend itself if it did choose to live down here alone. Yes, some offerings had survived for many seasons, but others were not so fortunate.

An unwelcome memory grazed his mind: the previous offering, broken and motionless in the snow, its frozen flesh laid open by scavengers.

Not for the first time, regret picked at his conscience. Until now, no fleshling had wanted anything to do with him, so in turn he had never really bothered to befriend any of them. Perhaps if he had attempted to, each one might have eventually passed on in peace inside a warm nest, and he would have had more companions like Cade, rather than have endured all alone in misery for so long…

“Optimus?”

He shook himself and looked down to find Cade at his feet. The fleshling was biting its lip and shifting its weight from one foot to the other.

“Please wait right here,” it chattered, firmly pointing at the ground. “I need to, uh…oh, just wait a few minutes! I’ll be right back.”

With that, it dashed into the nearest grove of trees, growling as its coverings snagged on the bushes.

Stunned, Optimus stared after it for a few sparkbeats, unable to decide whether to chase after it or let it go. The latter was the sole reason he brought Cade out here in the first place, but he at least wanted to bid it a fond farewell, first!

_Wait_ , Cade had said. A noise he had heard it make multiple times by now. Thinking back, Optimus recalled it telling him to _Wait_ as it chased after him in the den earlier. _Wait_ as he fled from the den and into the night, leaving it in its nest. _Wait_ as he left it shivering on the floor so he could make a fire for it.

Nodding to himself, Optimus relaxed. And waited.

Sure enough, after a while the bushes rustled, and out popped Cade, returning to him as promised.

“Oh, good,” said the fleshling as it approached, sounding just about as relieved as Optimus felt, “you’re still right where I left you.”

“Optimus…wait,” he tested, using Cade’s pronunciation of his name.

“You—” Cade’s mouth hung open for a moment before it managed to snap out of its stupor. “Why, yes, you did wait for me! And that was very kind of you, too. Thank you.”

After another quick wash, the fleshling let him sweep it up so he could carry it safely to the other side of the river. Optimus, still tingling from horn to heel with pride, could not resist lifting his chin just a mite higher than usual as he splashed across. Not till the fleshling-den’s towers came into view did he feel any lower than the clouds.

Hearing Cade suck in a breath as they drew near, he set it down again so it could run ahead for a closer look. Again his instincts roared at him to pursue it, and this time he almost did, for the one of the structure’s many holes that Cade was approaching was twice the size of its body, its top adorned with a row of sharp points. Dark and foreboding, it reminded Optimus of a gaping, hungry mouth, and he. Did. Not. Like that.

“By the gods.” Cade, on the other hand, seemed to be in awe as it stopped just inside the den’s throat. “This must be one of those fortresses from the elders’ stories.” After a beat of silence, it turned around, sending an apologetic look toward Optimus from the gloom. “Er, that is…stories about…my kind diverting yours, so we could—well.” Excitement waning, it walked out into the sunlight, rubbing the back of its neck. “It was ages and ages ago, but I’m sure you know the rest.”

Was that apprehension he detected? Were he not trying to convince Cade that this den was decent enough to live in, Optimus would have growled in agreement.

Kneeling, he watched as Cade poked around the outside, curious but apparently too wary to enter the dark interior. Eventually it made its way to the half that was crumbled, where it took its time exploring every other pile and chunk of stone. Every once in a while it would stop to glance at him, brow furrowing for a reason Optimus could not puzzle out.

Finally, unable to stand whatever was troubling it anymore, it hurried back to him with concern in its eyes. “This place still bothers you, doesn’t it? Well, don’t let me make you linger around here any longer. Are there other things you would like to show me?”

_Does it sense what I’m trying to do_? Leaning closer, Optimus gave a comforting rumble.

“Cade,” he said, gesturing at the fleshling-den, “I care for you and your wellbeing. Which is why I’m offering you sanctuary here, should you wish to leave me.”

The fleshling did not say anything, but judging by the way it tilted its head and narrowed its eyes, Optimus could tell it was suspecting something.

“I’ll…give you time to consider,” Optimus forced himself to continue. As he stood to his full height, he saw the flash of hurt in Cade’s eyes, and even though he was almost positive he knew how this exchange was going to end, his spark wept. “In the meantime, I ought to patrol along the river while I’m down here. But I will return to check in on you before nightfall, I promise.”

He began to walk.

Two steps.

Four.

Six, and still no sounds of pursuit. He felt a stab of anxiety.

_Turn back_! _TAKE_!

Suddenly, just as he was about to lose his mind, he heard a small voice behind him.

“…Optimus?”

And then, at last, came the words he was half-hoping, half-dreading to hear.

“Optimus, wait!”

“Oh, Cade,” he sighed to himself, though everything inside him danced in celebration, “I’m sorry I couldn’t spare you.” Stopping, he turned around, crouched, and waited as it came sprinting at him, coverings and head-fur flying, eyes fierce and determined. Were Optimus around the same height as Cade, he would have been intimidated enough to run away, squealing like…well, like a fleshling.

Cade skidded to a halt mere sparkbeats before it could slam right into his foot. After catching its breath, it craned its head back to send up a stern glare, scolding: “What’s all this? I thought we forged something back there, and now you’re running off again?”

“Do my eyes deceive me,” Optimus murmured through its chatter, offering a fingertip for the little creature to hold, “or is this you making a grave mistake?”

Gaze softening, it took his finger in a grip that was impressive for one its size. “Please, can’t we stay together, for once? I’ll try not to be a bother, I promise.”

“Intent on tagging along, hm? You’re going to regret it.” Alas, an uncontrollable purr ruined the tone of Optimus’s warning. “It’s a long walk for a fleshling. You’ll tire and I’ll have to carry you. Do you realize what that means? I’ll end up whisking you away to my den again, that’s what. You don’t want that to happen, do you?”

If the fleshling had considered such a possibility, it did not seem troubled in the slightest. As he straightened once more to continue on, Cade remained by his side, appearing glad to be walking with him again. Optimus was glad, too. Glad and terrified and so very, very selfish.

_Mine, mine, Cade is mine_ , the Aching part of him sang in triumph.

“Shut up,” Optimus hissed under his breath. “The day isn’t over yet.”

Perhaps one more day was all that was needed. One more day for the fleshling to fully realize what it was dealing with. And if for whatever reason it did not change its mind by this time tomorrow…Optimus just might let himself proceed with the courtship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god, they're going on a date??? that's so cute???  
> p.s. monster boi you're weak as heck


	12. Larking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoa 2 updates within the same month  
> must be a thanksgiving miracle

Had he not known better, Cade would have thought he had died after all, his soul now adrift in a realm where lion and lamb could walk together without fear. He could not believe how clean the air smelled, how quiet it was aside from the birdsong and the river’s chatter. Nothing was held back by human hand, not even the climbing ivy and young trees that had taken over the abandoned fortress; out here, everything was wild and enormous and beautiful.

 _Just like Optimus_ , he thought, but before he could so much as blush, he almost fell head-over-heels as he jogged to keep up with the beast’s long strides. His blanket—now serving as a makeshift cape of sorts—swept the long grass around his feet. Though it was a trip hazard, the extra layer provided warmth as well as concealment from the penetrating glare of broad daylight, so he was grateful that Optimus had grabbed it before they left the cave.

His heart gave a painful throb. _Did it do that simply out of kindness, or was it preparing me for abandonment_?

“Nonsense,” he scoffed to himself, despite the fact that he still could not shake the unease that lingered ever since they stopped at the ruins. “It only planned to leave me back there for a little while, surely.”

 _Forever, more like_ , mocked the skeptic side of his conscience. Indeed, he suspected now that that had been the beast’s motive all morning; perhaps that was why it had seemed so off back in the cave, even after he had extracted the vines. Worse still, he had a feeling that last night’s incident was the root of it all.

Shaking his head in denial, he ran faster without paying much attention to what was in front of him. “We exchanged apologies. We’re fine! Everything’s f—”

Right then, Optimus’s pace faltered ahead of him, forcing him to slow to a staggering halt so that he would not run face-first into its gigantic heel. He retreated back a few steps, eyes traveling up those long, long legs as the beast turned to look down at him with an inquisitive rumble. It took the rather awestruck Cade a few moments to snap out of it, but he soon deduced that he must have been arguing with himself loud enough for it to hear.

“Don’t mind me. I was just…spewing nonsense,” he panted with an embarrassed chuckle. So much for his promise to not be another thorn in the beast’s eye.

To his immense relief, however, it seemed far from bothered, its gaze soft and patient as it waited for him to catch his breath before moving on, this time at a slower, more reasonable pace. As it walked away, he hung back for a bit longer, unable to stop himself from admiring the way the sunlight danced along the silver plating on its back and shoulders with every movement. Not even a bit of mud smeared here and there could mar its overall luster…

His heart skipped a beat as it peeked under its arm to check on him. “Cade?”

Gods, how was it that a creature so magnificent had come to care an ounce for someone as insignificant as he? A fellow villager would not have been caught dead wasting their time with him, unless they needed him to fix something. Optimus, on the other hand…Optimus could make him feel like he mattered, just by looking at him.

Confidence bolstered, he shoved his doubts into the back of his mind. Hard.

Within heartbeats he was alongside Optimus again, and the pair continued following the river in comfortable silence, save for the muffled booms of its footfalls on soft ground. Now relaxed, Cade was free once more to mentally map out this new world that surrounded him, every so often sensing his companion’s watchful gaze resting upon him. Finally he snuck a glance upward, cracking a grin as they looked at each other at the same time. Eyes rounding, the beast let out a startled huff, snapping its gaze straight ahead.

Stifling his laughter, Cade switched his attention back to whatever awaited them as they rounded a bend. Now it was his turn to widen his eyes. “Oh! Will you look at that.”

The river’s currents were moving faster, the water spraying and churning as it tumbled through a labyrinth of stones. In the near distance, looming on either side were more cliffs and peaks, gradually closing in on the river the further they went. Before long, the mighty pines and oaks thinned out until all that remained of the forest was a sprinkling of smaller trees, and the valley itself narrowed even more. Squinting at the thin gap that towered ahead, Cade could almost swear that the far end of the rushing river just…disappeared.

“Is that what I think it is?”

Sure enough, as they approached the point where the valley’s opposing walls nearly kissed, his ears picked up one of many sounds he thought he would never have the opportunity to hear: the roar of a waterfall.

It was here their path was obstructed by a tall outcrop, up onto which Optimus gave him a helpful boost. Once he regained his footing, Cade inched toward the opposite edge to view the river’s descent into the great pool that shimmered below, partially shrouded in the clouds of mist that rolled up the sheer walls of the canyon. The pool’s banks were blanketed with grass and dotted with foliage, but despite all his wonder and amazement, he could not help but notice that as the river continued on from the pool and wound out of sight, all signs of remaining life gave way to bare earth and rock.

Through the cascade’s racket, he heard the beast growl a warning as it climbed up behind him, and in the next instant its fingers appeared in front of him, guiding him away from the edge. Looking up to find anxiety in its eyes, he was again reminded of their exchange at the ruins…and this time, he remembered how reluctant it had acted as it had begun to depart without him…

At last, realization struck him proper, and with a burst of hope the wheels within his mind began turning. So _that_ was its problem. Well, perhaps if he proved himself out here, the beast would not fear for his safety, and thus, it would no longer find good reason to keep him cooped up somewhere while it ventured off on its own.

As it prepared to pick him up, he shook his head and pointed out the ledges and boulders that led to the bottom. “Thank you, but I think I can handle this one, if you’ll let me.”

Optimus considered the natural stairs with narrowed eyes. It did not seem to like the idea at all, and if Cade were quite honest with himself, he was not too keen on it, either. But he stood firm, and after one good look at him, Optimus relented with a heavy sigh. Rising and gingerly stepping past him, it launched itself off the edge, dropping out of sight with astonishing speed. Cade gasped, cringing as a colossal crash resounded throughout the canyon. Its earlier accident still fresh in his mind, he assumed the worst as he rushed to peer down, but instead he discovered that the beast had landed on its feet with expertise, unharmed and insouciant.

“Cursed thorns have me on edge,” he chortled to himself, plastering a hand to his forehead. Optimus had not only scaled these cliffs all its life—it also had just brought him safely down from its cave, had it not? Of course it was fine! “Guess we’re both a bit too worried for each other.”

At first, his humor helped distract him from the perilous height as he slowly began to zig and zag his way down. However, after the first few hops, the following obstacles were a bit more challenging than he expected, the ledges gradually shrinking and the rock itself becoming more slippery from the mist. At one point, he misjudged the distance of one particular gap, and would have overshot his destination altogether had he not caught a hold of a stone protrusion to stop himself as he landed, biting back a grunt of pain as the rough surface dug into his tender palms. Through the sound of his own pounding pulse, he heard a distressed cry, and he looked straight down to see Optimus peering back up at him. It was close enough to stretch its arm up and help him out of danger, but though it appeared mere seconds away from doing just that, it held itself back.

“Heh, see?” Cade forced a grin. “It’s somewhat like…like going roof-to-roof around the square, except there aren’t any holes to patch up.”

He was glad, though, when the beast’s resolve finally fell apart with only a couple jumps to go. Gathering him up to its chest, it warmed him up with its body for a few minutes, expressing its relief through rumbles and clicks.

“Climbing into your bed is easier,” Cade admitted, then grimaced as he played back what he just said with an entirely different context in mind. Suddenly shy under the scrutiny of those dark eyes, he fiddled with his blanket-cape with his hands. “I—that’s—it’s going to have to take some further practice, that. This cliff right here, I mean. Ahem.”

It cocked its head, its eyes sparking with something he could not quite discern. Whatever it was, it made his heart flutter. Combining this feeling with the lovely sight that was Optimus framed in mist, he suddenly found himself staring wistfully at those smooth lips. Hoping that tongue would come poking out. Wishing they could start last night over again.

 _What if_ , he thought. What if it really did want him in the way that he first thought it did…? Oh, but that would be preposterous! But…the way it had licked him felt so good, regardless…

Not wanting Optimus to detect the arousal that was budding inside him, he signaled that he wanted down. “Shall—shall we, uh, have a moment’s rest?”

Bringing itself out of its trance with a light shiver, Optimus grunted what sounded like an apology and lowered him to the ground.

As they went to sit by the water, Cade let out a deep breath, trying to squelch his naughty thoughts. After all, what good was it to thirst for something that will likely never happen again? What he and Optimus had, right here and now, was the beginning of something extraordinary and precious—a potential, lasting friendship between two opposing species—and he was unwilling to ruin it with something as trivial as his sexual desire.

He quivered with giddiness at the mere thought of sharing ideas and working on projects with Optimus, but he forced himself to focus on present matters before his imagination could run wild. Eyeing its massive reflection in the water in an inconspicuous manner, he reviewed all that he knew about the beast thus far; not to his surprise, the list of facts was yet short. When did its life begin? How did it pass the time all these years? Why did it live here all by itself? What on earth did it piss off to earn that scar?

Noticing the absence of purple in its reflection, he looked up at Optimus to find that it had squeezed its eyes shut—perhaps in meditation, although its body seemed somewhat tense. Dismissing its posture as something akin to a catnap, Cade took this opportunity to study the creature’s majestic profile in secret, having realized that he had yet to figure out whether it was male or female, if either.

Going by the tales of long-ago raids, he knew that Optimus’s kind started out fragile inside eggs, but that was as far as humanity bothered to learn about their reproduction. Having never seen any others of its kind before, he had no accurate references for comparison, and even then he probably would not know which was what. It was not like he could find the answer at the beast’s crotch—well, all right, he had already tried that more times than he cared to admit, but! There was nothing there, as far as he could tell.

The only way to know the answer to this mystery, or any of its secrets for that matter, was to ask.

And for Cade to do that, he and Optimus must first learn to understand each other.

“Where to begin, though?” he murmured, rubbing his chin as he searched their surroundings for answers. “Let’s see. We’ve covered names already…”

Just then, he happened to catch a glimpse of something idling in the water in front of him, a silver distraction that had to be at least the size of his hand. His stomach snarled at the sight of it. Before he could give himself a chance to hesitate, he slowly crept closer till he was crouching on the very edge of the bank, his hands poised to strike. With a great splash he made a snatch for it, and he whooped as his fingers made contact with scales.

Alas, not only did his target escape—he also ended up with a face full of water.

He was yanked back before he could fall in further, and he fell back on his ass, coughing and wiping his eyes. After a plethora of blinks and curses, he regained his focus to see the beast’s huge face hovering over him, its warm breath tickling his wet skin, its eyes wide with concern and bewilderment.

“I’m all right,” he gasped, and before he could stop himself he began to laugh. “Should have known! Last time I tried that, I was a child playing in the brook.”

Relaxed but still puzzled, Optimus straightened, and Cade climbed to his feet, using the end of his blanket to dry his hair.

“I was trying to catch a fish,” he explained a few moments later, pointing into the water.

“Ph-ph-bpt,” went Optimus, then made a hissing noise that almost sounded like the waterfall: “F-fssssssssssssssst?”

 _Fine place to start, I suppose_ , thought Cade with a smile. “Fish.”

“Fi-ssssst-sh?”

“That’s better,” he praised, “just keep practicing. You see, a _fish_ is an underwater creature that can be eaten—when caught, of course.” He mimed eating one for good measure.

To his delight, this seemed to click. Clearly onto something, Optimus scented the air and glanced around, then stood up and went to pluck something from the rocks at the base of the cliff. As Cade caught up with it, it crouched and proffered the small bouquet of mountain flowers it had pinched between two fingers.

“Fi-ssssst-sh?” asked Optimus, copying Cade’s eating gesture.

Oh, dear.

“Actually, no.” Suppressing a chuckle, he took one from the bouquet and held it up. “This is a _flower_.”

“Flower-r-r-r-r-r!” Optimus growled, incredulous. It looked down at its gathered plants with a scowl.

“But you’re right,” Cade added, picking off a blossom and sticking it in his mouth, “both can be eaten. See?” Though it was not what his body craved, he decided he could settle with a light snack for now, and times of scarcity had taught his village that this particular plant, like the dandelion, was safe to consume. “I think the word you’re looking for is _food_.”

“Food.” Optimus pronounced it perfectly on the first try, but it still looked a mite lost. It muttered the new words to itself, thinking it over for a moment as Cade ate, till at last it pointed at the flowers and asked, “Flower-r-r-r-r-r food?”

He encouraged it with a nod.

Face brightening, it then pointed toward the pool. “Fi-ssssst-sh food?”

“You’ve got it,” Cade exclaimed, throwing his arms up in celebration. “Keep this up, and we’ll be having deep conversations in no time!”

In response to his excitement, the beast started up a content purr within its chest—a sound that was quickly becoming one of his favorites.

Before long, they were continuing on. Once the grass disappeared, Cade lifted his skirt so that he could watch where he placed his feet, for fear of tripping or stubbing his toes on the rocks. Optimus paused and extended a hand towards him, offering to carry him, but again he politely declined; his feet hurt and his legs had grown sore, but as long as he still had even a little energy, he was eager to learn the terrain. Surprisingly, his companion went along with his wishes without complaint this time—in fact, Cade thought it even looked impressed.

Fortunately for him, though, after a few twists and turns through the canyon, the surface over which they traveled leveled out, giving him freedom to turn his attention to another language lesson. With a flourish he waved a hand at the river beside them, its currents now calm and sluggish.

“River.”

Following his gesture, Optimus nodded. “R-r-river-r-r-r-r-r.”

“That’s right. And the _river_ is filled with—” Bending down, Cade scooped up a handful of said river, pretending he was about to drink it before playfully throwing it at Optimus. “— _water_!”

Caught off guard, Optimus jumped back as the cold droplets splattered its foot, its startled bark ringing off the canyon walls.

“Oh, gods.” Not expecting such a dramatic reaction, Cade slapped a hand over his mouth, but it was too late to control his laughter. “I’m…I’m sorry, that was…that was uncalled for…!”

It glared down at him as though offended, but there was a mischievous twinkle in its eye. With a great big huff, it stamped closer to the river, reached down, and took a great big scoop of its own. More than enough for a bath.

“What!” Cade’s eyes nearly popped out of his head as Optimus came at him with a threatening growl, streams of water leaking through its fingers and hitting the stone with heavy splats. “All that for a few drops? Oh, you can’t be serious,” he yelped, spinning around to make a break for it. “Don’t you dare!”

As he dove behind a rock, however, he heard an amused rumble far behind him, and it was then he finally noticed that Optimus was not really chasing him. Feeling a little silly, he crept out of hiding to find that it was indeed in the exact same spot where he left it, its eyes crinkling with merriment. His heart sang at the sight, for he had yet to witness Optimus having quite this much fun.

Releasing its faux weapon back into the river, Optimus repeated, “Water-r-r-r-r-r.”

“Very good,” he chuckled, wiping a tear of mirth from his eye as they moved on. Gods knew when he last laughed that hard, and so much in one day.

Soon they rounded yet another bend, and it was from there on that the beast slowed its pace more still, motioning for him to stay behind it. Curious, Cade peered past its legs as they walked, unable to notice anything out of the ordinary for a while. But as they neared the next turn, something about the atmosphere seemed to shift; every one of his senses detected it—even the smell of the wind was different.

Humor forgotten for the time being, Cade felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. There was a lot of sunlight ahead, but he was not fooled: there was something eerie lying in wait with it. Something…big, and so quiet…it almost felt like… _nothing_.

“Wait.”

He nearly jumped out of his skin when Optimus spoke. “Wha—? Why?”

With a soft hiss, Optimus bent down and gently put its fingertip to his mouth. Its expression was serious, yet calm.

Cade’s initial alarm dissipated, though he remained anxious. He gave a solemn nod, and despite his confusion, he did not say another word as he let Optimus guide him over to some rocks, behind which he was motioned to sit. From there he watched the beast creep around the bend, sniffing and searching for who-knew-what. Eventually it went out of sight, and was gone just long enough for Cade to consider getting up and running after it.

Just when he thought he could not stand the suspense any longer, Optimus popped back into view and called his name. Scrambling and stumbling, he rejoined his companion within seconds, catching himself before he could fling his arms around its leg.

“Am I allowed to speak again?” he whisper-shouted through cupped hands.

Of course Optimus did not understand his question, but it offered a response nonetheless by pointing the direction in which it had gone.

When Cade looked, at first he was unable to see it, for the sunlight bounced off what he assumed was the river. Grimacing, he blinked and squinted till he could make out dark shapes among the abundance of reflections. Shimmering ahead of him was indeed the river, widening and veering off out of sight as it always did—but wait, if _that_ was the river, then what was everything else…?

And suddenly, even before his vision fully adjusted, he _knew_ , and the shock brought him to his knees. Like the waterfall, this was something he thought he would never see. In spite of what people often said, it had always seemed so far away from his humble home, so unreachable to him, and now here it was, before his very eyes.

The outside world, where no human could survive, for the land was covered with metal that glistened like a frozen sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> casual reminder that it's the post-apocalypse lol


	13. Shining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaah nothing like kickin off the new year with 5% plot and 95% filler fluff

Somewhere beyond those gleaming hills on the horizon was his hatchplace—too distant to see, too distant to smell, yet close enough to remember when he wanted to forget.

Lurking _among_ those hills were other, more immediate concerns, but to his relief he neither sighted nor smelled them. Now was no time to fight, not while Cade was out here with him. Especially not while Cade was in such a state as this.

Kneeling next to the fleshling, Optimus was filled with remorse as he sensed the waves of alarm emanating from its body. It was too late now, but it dawned upon him that perhaps not every one of the valley’s inhabitants had laid eyes on the outside lands, let alone traversed them. His lips parted to voice an apology, but in the end he chose to remain silent, hoping that his presence alone may offer comfort. As difficult as this was for the both of them, he knew it was necessary for Cade to see that there was an alternate way out, and that was to follow the river like some of the past offerings had done.

Out, and never back in.

Although he had faith that this particular fleshling would not resort to such an extreme, he felt a shudder pass through him. It had proven its hardiness along the way here, but surely it would never survive outside the valley on its own. A pack of fleshlings was enough to cause panic—but a solitary one?

Well.

To some, a solitary fleshling was nothing more than an easy target that was better off dead. One blow, and it would all be over…

“Not once.” Cade’s utterance was so soft it barely penetrated the silence, but it was enough to pull Optimus from his fears. “Not once did I ever picture it like this.”

He leaned closer to check its reaction beneath the hand it used to shade its eyes, but where he thought he would find horror and disgust, he instead found something akin to enchantment; curiously, it reminded him of the way it beheld him when they first met. Having sensed his movement, it craned its neck to look up at him, its expression softening further. His spark skipped a beat as he noticed how drastically its fear scent diminished upon the sight of him.

“They always make it sound so dark and vile, but it isn’t really.” Cade gestured at the scenery with a shrug. “Big and empty and…and unnerving, is all it is.”

It stood and approached the serrated line where stone ended and metal began, its steps light and cautious, its coverings floating on the breeze that blew in from the plain. Once more he smelled its fear, but though he wished to gather it up so it would feel safe again, he stayed put as Cade stretched out a leg, inspecting the metal surface with its toes. A sparkbeat of suspense passed before it placed its entire foot on the ground, soon followed by its other one.

“Oh,” went the fleshling as it spun in a circle, staring down at its feet with wide eyes. “How strange!” It crouched down and patted the ground with its hands. “It feels like you, Optimus, yet not quite? This is—I don’t know, it’s…it’s so otherworldly.”

Hearing his name among its other noises, he understood that it felt the similarity between his armor and the very element from which the first of his kind were hatched, and he purred his encouragement. “Good observation.”

Again he raised his eyes to the distant hills. For once, rather than brooding over his own past, he imagined this landscape from the viewpoint of a fleshling of old. The gruesome recounts of their actions were abundant, but one glaring fact that was often skimmed over was that this world was once theirs; everything that grew green and bled red had once thrived where the metal was now. Though the fleshlings were the first to attack—and right where it hurt the most—he could not help but pity them. With a jolt, he realized how easy it was for him to feel and understand their outrage, their terror, their hopelessness. Why, it was no wonder Cade’s colony feared him, cornered as they were.

_But were my ancestors’ hatchlings not cornered, as well_?

Desperate to escape this whirlpool of confusing emotions, he shook himself with a growl, returning his gaze to Cade to lighten his mood. At the same time, it looked up from its observations and tilted its head. Reading concern on its face, he extended a hand toward it, and without hesitation it came back to him so it could hold his finger. Optimus rumbled with amusement at the way it searched his gaze with earnest eyes.

“I never will be rid of you, will I?” he murmured, filled with relief and wonder at the fleshling’s loyalty. “I should not be grateful, but…I am. I very much am.”

He turned his hand palm-up, and to his pleasure it finally accepted his offer to carry it. Cade was a headstrong little creature, but its exhaustion was becoming more obvious by the moment. Sooner or later, he would have scooped it up anyway for its own good.

“Nearby is a place where I harvest my regular sustenance,” Optimus said as he rose, ready to leave his dark thoughts far behind, “but it will have to wait for another day. The sun will return to its den before long.” Purring, he gave Cade a playful nudge with his thumb. “Perhaps…if you’ll let me carry you the whole way, you may accompany me there.”

_Bad, bad, bad_ , the Ache hissed, and he bristled as the phantom rush of battle surged through him. _Not safe_!

“You _will_ accompany me there,” he corrected himself firmly, for that was what Cade would prefer. “And I _will_ protect you.” He punctuated this with a huff of finality that ruffled his denmate’s head-fur. “Sorry.”

But the fleshling seemed tickled as it flattened the poof Optimus made, its other hand giving his palm a good-natured pat. His eyes lingered on those soft, thorn-scarred fingers as they petted him, the combined sight and sensation igniting a small ball of heat inside him. He reached in and gently took that hand between his thumb and forefinger, unable to stop himself from returning the favor with a light stroke of his own. Cade’s gasp was quiet, but at such close proximity, it was impossible for him to miss. Its scent certainly did not help conceal the meaning behind that gasp, either.

“Yes.” Optimus’s own voice sounded quiet and far away, so lost was he in the calm that was Cade’s eyes. “I will protect you.”

_My mate_.

As he began the long trek upriver, neither of them broke eye contact for quite some time, neither willing to shatter the peaceful spell. Not till the fleshling leaned its cheek against his thumb did he decide to come up with some sort of distraction before his urges got the better of him. Carefully extracting his opposing digits, he lifted Cade to his shoulder.

“Might I interest you in a different perch?”

Caught unawares, it blinked at his shoulder as though it had never seen it before, then nodded, face reddening as it awkwardly clambered from one seat to the other. Detecting its anxiety, he kept a loose fist around it so it would have plenty of fingers to which to cling. It expelled a shaky breath as it settled, voicing a noise of gratitude as it held on, then a sound of nervous amazement as it took in the sights from its new vantage point.

“I take it that you approve,” Optimus clicked softly. “Courageous little thing.”

Alas, the diversion did not last very long. Even without looking he could sense that Cade was sneaking glances at him again. Internally he cursed at himself, realizing that this arrangement was more intimate than the previous. Its warm little body was so _close_. He could hear and feel every breath, every sparkbeat, every…snarl?

He paused and turned his head to better view his companion. “What was that?”

“Wh-what?” went Cade, looking embarrassed.

“It sounded like a growl.” Optimus reached up and poked Cade in the midsection. “From there, I think. Are you upset about something?”

It placed a hand upon the spot where Optimus touched, nodding to show it understood. “Er, right. Food. I need food.”

“Food,” he repeated, remembering their earlier lesson. “You’re hungry, then. Perhaps I can catch one of those…one of those…fish…for you.” He grimaced as the odd word came out as a hiss again. He had been quick to learn that the fleshlings’ language was surprisingly tricky to master. Oftentimes he had to focus most of his efforts on his mouth parts, rather than relying on his chest as was natural to him. On top of that, their _rrr_ and _sss_ noises were so impossibly light and gentle to him; so seldom did they come out of his mouth without sounding at least a mite aggressive.

Cade, however, did not seem to notice his slip as it stretched its mouth with an odd hooting noise, then rested its head against his hand with a sigh. “Mmm, a fish would be fantastic…”

Optimus assumed that meant the fleshling agreed to his plan, which both pleased and worried him. Did he really just offer to hunt? _Again_? And with Cade right here to watch this time? Oh, this was going to be a disaster.

Sooner than he would have liked, they returned to the waterfall. Lowering Cade to the grass, he gestured at the nearest clutch of scraggly foliage, hoping to distract it from his imminent failure. “You fleshlings like a little fire with your sustenance, correct? Why don’t you make one while I figure this out?”

Cade blinked up at him sleepily.

Sighing, he instead pointed Cade to a rock, on which it sat to rest while he gathered up the materials himself—or, at least, he tried to. These twigs were far more brittle than the ones he had fiddled with before, and it was challenging to pick them up without crushing them into dust. Finally he managed to uproot an entire bush, and with great care he laid it on a flat stone, dirt clod and all.

“Ah,” went Cade as it came for a closer look, “I see what you’re doing.” It waved him away as he reached down to pick off the dirt. “I can handle this. Thank you.”

Optimus stood back to watch, but only for a moment, for as interested as he was to witness any and all fleshling behavior, he did not want Cade to go hungry for much longer. Tapping the rock for its attention, he pointed toward the water. “Cade…wait. Optimus…uh…fish?”

Cade smiled. “Good luck.”

Without further ado Optimus went to the pool, its waters now dark beneath the canyon’s evening shadows. His eyes squinted and searched as he slowly sank into a crouch. These “fish” creatures were miniscule and elusive, but he had sighted their darting shapes time and again during countless hot seasons of sunning himself on the banks.

He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. _I can do this_.

Very seldom did he feel such confidence in himself as he did right then, and he dared not question it. Staring into the water with intense concentration, he lifted his arm, readied his aim, flexed his fingers…

And there, just past the reflected purple of his eyes, was the slightest difference in shade, the slightest hint of disturbance.

In a single wide sweep he sliced his hand through the water, causing an arc of spray and a great wave that came sloshing onto land to his right. Far behind him he could hear Cade making noises, but in his eagerness to find out if he was successful he did not immediately look back to see why. He checked his palm, hoping to find something stuck to it. Empty. He searched the ground around himself, thinking that surely he must have dropped his catch. Nothing. His spark sank.

“No, there! Look over there, Optimus!” Reluctantly he turned to check Cade, whose eyes were ablaze with excitement as it jabbed a finger toward the area where the wave initially crashed. “Between those boulders, see them?”

At last, Optimus noticed the desperate struggle that was occurring in the small pools of water now trapped among a group of rocks. Staggering to his feet, he surged across the soggy, slippery terrain, intent on catching the prey before it could wriggle free. He slid to a kneel and jammed his fingers into the tight spaces between the rocks, trying and failing to hook the creatures out.

“Enough of this,” he muttered, and with that he grabbed one of the boulders with both hands and wrenched it out of the ground. With a mighty snarl he hoisted it over his head and chucked it into the pool, causing yet another wave that flushed the trapped creatures into the hole he had created. There was no escaping him, now.

After scooping them out, he took his first close look at live fish-creatures and immediately scrunched his face. Bulging eyes, gaping mouths, protrusions flapping and tails flopping as they writhed in his cupped palms—it was bad enough that they reeked, but even worse, they had to be some of the most unsightly living things he had ever laid eyes on. There were only a few of them, and each was no bigger than Cade’s hand, but the urge to whirl around and throw them clear across the pool grew stronger with every slimy tail-slap.

“Rrrughh,” he growled in disgust, armor bristling as he hurried back to a slack-jawed Cade. “ _Must_ you eat these?”

The fleshling slowly closed its mouth and swallowed, tugging on the neck of its covering. “Optimus,” it squeaked, “did you…did you just…? That was…incredible…!”

In spite of his squeamishness, Optimus felt his spark soar as he read admiration in Cade’s eyes and voice. His armor relaxed somewhat, even before he deposited his catch on the stone. “Well,” he relented with a purr, “whatever it takes to please you.”

Apparently rejuvenated for the time being, Cade pounced on the fish-creatures to prevent them from escaping.

“Oh, do be careful,” Optimus warned. “They might—”

Before he could finish, the fleshling snatched up a pebble and dispatched the prey with blows to their heads.

“—attack. Yes. Well done.”

He looked on in disturbed fascination as it began skewering them from mouth to tail with a long stick, but it was not long before he could watch no more. Instead, he turned to where Cade left off with the fire. Already there was a neat pile of twigs, each one placed just so. Afraid to ruin his companion’s hard work, he did not touch it until Cade permitted him with a nod, pointing at his hand and then making a striking motion; all that was left to be done was to start the flames, and it wanted him to do it. He obliged with enthusiasm, and once he found a rock and the right angle, it was done within sparkbeats.

“Thank you, Optimus.” While tending the little fire, Optimus glanced at Cade in time to see its smile dwindle as it cast a clueless look at its sustenance. “I think I did this right…maybe. Now, uh…if only I had any clue how to do the actual, uh…hm…”

Optimus backed off as Cade approached the fire, brandishing its…fish-stick. Hesitating, it muttered to itself and scratched the back of its head, then shot Optimus an embarrassed grin once it caught him cocking his head at it. “Oh, I’m sure it’s as straightforward as this,” it chattered, thrusting the prey directly into the flames. “Pfft. Don’t need to be apprenticed under a cook to figure that out.”

What soon followed was a stench that had no apparent effect on Cade, but Optimus found it unbearable at such a close range. Suddenly, right now felt like the perfect time to finally give himself a proper wash; after all, he was once again striving to impress. If the fleshling could look at him in his current state with stars in its eyes, he could just imagine how much it will admire him once he was clean!

His armor began to itch all over again at the prospect of a thorough grooming session, so after a quick exchange with Cade, he wasted no time in wading into the pool and away from the smoke. Flaring his plating, he went to stand beneath the waterfall, closing his eyes and groaning with relief as its pounding force massaged his back. Every once in a while he cracked open one eye to check on his fleshling—sometimes catching it staring at him, other times catching it frowning at the fire. It still seemed confused and unsure of itself, as though it had never performed its kind’s disgusting feeding ritual before. As far as Optimus was concerned, the worsening scent was proof enough that the process was going well.

Later, while picking at his armor he squinted through the torrent once more, and to his bewilderment he witnessed Cade performing a bizarre dance, its teeth bared in a grimace as it hopped up and down, one of its hands flapping in a frantic manner.

“Perhaps not as well as I thought,” Optimus muttered. Leaving the waterfall, he splashed his way across the pool, his armor twitching as rivulets trickled their way down through his seams. He could still feel something tiny aggravating him in the middle of his back, but it could wait for a moment. “Cade?”

The fleshling was busy suckling on its fingers as he strode into the firelight, but as its eyes traveled up his gleaming, wet body to meet his gaze, something inside it seemed to stall. To Optimus's private amusement, its hand dropped as if in slow motion, leaving its mouth hanging open and empty. “Uuum.” Finally it gathered itself together and gingerly lifted up its fish-stick for him to see. “It—it isn’t straightforward at all, uh, Optimus.”

Crinkling his nose, Optimus risked bending closer to survey the damage. Though still fish-creature-shaped, they were now quite scorched and looked twice as disturbing. Surely there was no way they were fit for consumption. He asked in Cade’s tongue: “Optimus fish?”

“What?” Cade’s eyes followed his pointing finger to the water. “Oh, you mean again? No, that won’t be necessary. They’re still edible, they’re just, uh…more done than they should be. I think.”

Sensing the uncertainty in its tone, Optimus doubted that Cade was going to consume the prey until it sat down and proceeded to do so before his own eyes. Unable to look away at first, he watched as it tasted it, made a face, shrugged, and then took a bigger bite, its teeth tearing into the blackened flesh with fervor.

“Eh, I’f ha’ worth,” went Cade through the mouthful.

Satisfied that his denmate’s hunger was finally being met, Optimus averted his gaze but remained close as it ate. If he was to live with Cade, he will have to become accustomed to such sights and smells sooner or later. Furthermore, the selfish, Aching part of him did not want to put any more distance between them now that he had Cade all excited; even through all the smoke, he could still smell its heightened interest in him, and he basked in it without shame.

_Not even a full day has passed, and you’re already pushing the boundaries_ , he chided himself with a soft snort as he shifted into a more comfortable position. But so long as Cade was safe and happy, he supposed he could forgive himself just this once. What harm could such light acts of courtship bring…?

With impeccable timing, the thing in his back poked him again. Suppressing a grunt, he twisted his arm back around to scratch, but this particular itch was difficult to reach. What was worse, it was tickling him the more he thought about it, and the tickling was starting to feel good. Too good.

“Ah, no,” he growled, “not now!”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Cade looking up at him with a startled expression as he shot to his feet and put his back to the canyon wall. Rubbing helped some, but he could not ignore how obnoxious the repeated screech of metal against stone sounded in all this peace and quiet. Cringing, he screeched to a stop, and to his embarrassment he noticed Cade mirroring his expression, its hands pressed on either side of its head.

“Maybe I can reach whatever’s bothering you.” Cade paused, then asked: “You know, help? Er, Cade help Optimus?”

After a moment’s hesitation, desperation sent him sitting back down by the rock with a pitiful groan. Once turned around so the fleshling could reach, he dug his fingers into the ground as he felt Cade’s breath on his flaring armor, and when its curious little digits probed into a particular seam that he had always had trouble reaching, he tore up grass. Tingles of delight dispersed from the small point of contact, running up and down his back and all throughout his body, dancing wildly inside him every time Cade picked and plucked. So deft, so tender… _warm, warm, warm, WANT_ —

“Feel better?” Its voice was quiet, almost breathless. Its hand caressed him just inside the seam, and it felt so glorious that it took Optimus a sparkbeat to realize that the problem was gone; what he felt was all Cade, now.

Quivering, he forced himself to twist around and away from its touch, giving it a nod of thanks as he met its trusting gaze. Framed by firelight, Cade’s small form seemed to shine like a precious mineral—energon, even—yet it looked softer than ever. Perhaps Optimus was seeing through the eyes of his Aching desire, but if one were to ask him, the fleshling was in dire need of a good petting. He wanted so badly to stroke its head-fur, to return those wonderful sensations that it had given him…

_Take_. Strangely, though, the Ache’s demand was easier to ignore than usual.

With a low, gentle trill, he extended a finger and rested it on Cade’s shoulder. Cade smiled, reaching up to hold him as it leaned its head against him. It parted its lips as though about to speak, but instead it stretched its mouth, drawing in air and letting out the same tired hooting sound it had made earlier.

“It has been a long day for you, hasn’t it,” Optimus rumbled. “Come.”

Cade climbed into his proffered hand, curling up and cuddling against him as he brought it closer. Using his free hand, he followed his inner wishes and touched its head-fur with his fingertip—not to excite his companion, but to calm it. At first the fleshling leaned into his touch with a soft moan, but soon his petting took on the desired effect; its eyes closed, its body relaxed, and its breathing slowed.

“You sleep as much as you eat, fleshling,” Optimus murmured as he rubbed its back. “How is it that your kind has time to do anything?”

He was answered with a lazy pat on his chest, and his spark was filled with warmth. After tucking Cade's blanket more securely around its body, he reached over and extinguished the dying flames, shrouding them both in twilight. Careful not to move too fast, he scooted to rest his back against the canyon wall. Cade curled tighter and mumbled something, then fell silent again once the jostling was over with.

“I won’t move again for some time,” he promised, for he planned to wait till his companion was in deep slumber before he carried on. The urge to return to the safety of his den--no, _their_ den--had begun to press on him, a growing urge that he will not be able to ignore for long.

For now, though, he was content to sit beneath the waking stars, with Cade cradled close to his spark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter kept making me tired and hungry lmao  
> gawd...is this the life of a writer??? feeling the needs of the characters IRL???


	14. Mystifying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yet again, thanks for reading and commenting!  
> still no dick-licking but fear not!! your patience will be rewarded in due course! eventually! someday!

“You never did lie down, did you?”

Cade had no recollection of the remainder of their journey back to the cave. There was, however, a vague memory of Optimus tucking him into the nest sometime during the night. From that moment on, the occasional noise had pulled him out of slumber in brief spurts—and the comforting warmth and heartbeat that had lulled him to sleep were sorely missed every time.

So as he broke his fast by the light of the midmorning rays, Cade was grateful for the simple fact that Optimus was not missing for the third sunrise in a row. Instead, here it sat beside him on the sleeping ledge, reclining casually against the wall as it gazed at him with a serene expression. To Cade’s ongoing amazement, it did not appear the least bit wayworn.

“You were pacing around, I think,” Cade went on between bites. Breakfast for today consisted of both flowers and springberries, which meant that at some point Optimus had been away for a while, as well. He shook his head in disbelief. “But you’ve already walked for so long! How can you possibly have any energy left?”

_This coming from someone who is notorious for skipping bedtime_ , he thought with a sheepish grimace, though at present he could not see himself doing that again any time soon. All those endless, despairing nights leading up to the first full moon of the Hundredth Spring…locked up inside the temple, alone in the dark, counting down the days he then thought he had left to live…it was far beyond what he could stand.

On the other hand, yesterday’s long hike had also left him fatigued and sore, but that was to be expected, not to mention worth it. He would gladly experience his entire adventure with Optimus all over again in a heartbeat—even the outside world, as much as its vastness had intimidated him.

He stared down at his next berry, releasing a trembling sigh as he revisited his introduction to the forbidden land in his mind. It was…hauntingly beautiful, in its own way; he was not certain how else to describe it. Upon first sight it had seemed so dead and empty. But when he had touched its surface, he could have sworn he felt the presence of life thrumming within—almost as though the souls lost to the Metal Rain were still trapped inside, even to this day…

“Tktktk,” went Optimus—a soft click for Cade’s attention, which he was glad to offer. He watched as its huge, careful fingertip poked into his breakfast, successfully tickling out a small puff of cheerful color.

“Flower,” Optimus proclaimed, without a hint of a growl.

“Oh!” Overcome with excitement, Cade dropped his berry in his haste to give the finger a rewarding pat. “You’ve been practicing!”

Optimus straightened its back and expanded its chest with evident pride. Cade chuckled, then blushed as his eyes lingered over its outthrust pectorals. Gulping and biting his lip, he averted his gaze, only to be signaled to look up again.

Eyes bright with enthusiasm, Optimus tapped its lips.

“Yes, go ahead, I’m watching.”

“Fish-uh.”

It was all Cade could do not to groan and cover his face with his hands right then, for he had been trying so hard to forget about last night’s cooking catastrophe. Before kills were rationed out back at the village, they were butchered and cooked by those who made their living doing so; he never had to prepare a scrap of flesh on his own in all his life. With that in mind, he had to admit that his attempt could have resulted in something much worse. However, he still hated himself for so badly scorching the fish that Optimus had gone through so much trouble to catch for him. He could only hope that it did not notice that he had gone and burned himself, too, like some inexperienced whelp.

With care he applauded Optimus’s improvement, painfully aware of his tender, reddened fingertips. As happy as he was for Optimus, he could not squash the frustration mounting within him. _Confound it_! Where and how did he let it go wrong? It was not like he had never worked with fire before. Perhaps the fish just slipped, or something…yes, surely that was it!

…All right, _maybe_ he had been a little distracted and flustered.

_Maybe_ Optimus had not only shown off its astounding strength—it had also gotten wet. Really, really wet.

And _maybe_ Optimus was unaware that every stretch and bend, every position it had held beneath that waterfall had shown off just enough back, leg, and ass to light a candle within Cade’s loins.

“ _Maybe_ I ought to quit thinking about it,” Cade grumbled through gritted teeth as he continued to think about it…beneath the very gaze of the very creature he was thinking very much about.

Why was his mouth so dry, all of a sudden?

Clearing his throat, he reached with quivering hands for the same piece of bark from before, which had been refilled with fresh water while he was still asleep. Right away he felt a disaster coming as he grabbed hold of it, but he lifted it anyway, so desperate was he to escape his own ill-timed thoughts. So when the wood gave way with a soggy crunch and emptied its contents all over his lap, he just sat there in silence for a few heartbeats, holding the halves of what used to be his makeshift dish and watching the remains of his breakfast soak up the puddle that was spreading before him.

Finally, he looked up at a rather round-eyed Optimus and said, “Oops.”

It held itself stiff as a board, obviously struggling to maintain its composure, and that alone was enough to get Cade going. Snickering and snorting, he tried to climb to his feet, but his entire body was shaking with laughter and the stone beneath him was slippery. It was no use—Optimus had to offer its finger to help him up.

“For gods’ sakes,” Cade wheezed as he stabilized himself. He set to work picking the plant matter off his dripping skirt. “Can’t I last a day without getting soaked?”

Purring, Optimus pretended to start a fire with its hands.

“No, I don’t think that’s necessary this time,” Cade chuckled as he wrung out his dress, “but… _gaaah_ , why! And you’re always around to see me like this, too!” Feeling a mite daring, he put his hands on his hips and gave the titan a playful smirk. “You know, Optimus, I’m starting to get a little suspicious.”

It tilted its head at him, then repositioned itself so it could lower its head to his level. Cade’s heart skipped a beat as its warm breath washed over him, but he did not move a muscle as it studied him with its captivating gaze. After a rather lengthy staredown, it slowly raised one corner of its mouth till it was mirroring his expression. More than likely this was not Optimus’s intention, but to Cade’s half-thrill, half-horror, the end result looked downright suggestive.

“Oh, shit, y-you’re a natural,” Cade stammered, putting a hand over his mouth as he searched for a way out of this overwhelmingly intense situation. “Th-that— _shit_. That certainly backfired, didn’t it?”

Another purr thrummed around him, but he was unable to bring himself to look at Optimus. Ever the traitor, his mind was once again plaguing him with inappropriate imagery, at the worst possible time. As if he did not already have enough memories to revisit that involved its strong hands massaging him and its tongue exploring his body and—and—oh, now that wicked smile was forever part of all that, too! And that was his own stupid fault. _You love-struck, touch-starved fool_!

“Cade?”

A soft nudge finally persuaded him to return his gaze upwards to find innocence and concern written across its visage. He sighed with relief, yet at the same time, his heart sank. Just as he had suspected: Optimus was only copying him for fun. Clearly, nothing flirtatious was going on, after all.

“Fine. I’m…I’m fine,” he said with a dismissive wave. Coughing behind his fist, he quickly switched the subject back to the mess he made. “I guess I…I ought to make myself a new bowl, heh...”

“Hmm.” Optimus prodded the abandoned pieces of bark, rumbling to itself. Suddenly, eyes brightening, it pointed toward the ledges on the opposite side of the cavern.

“You’ve something else up there? Well, let’s see it, then.”

But instead of going to retrieve its solution to Cade’s problem, Optimus cupped its hands around him and swept him up with an energetic stream of metal-beast noises. Startled, Cade grunted in protest, struggling to upright himself in its palms as it carried him across the cave floor. By the time he managed to hook his arms over its wall of fingers, Optimus was already setting him on a new, unexplored surface.

“My heart’s bound to give out if you do that again,” Cade warned, but he was so charmed by Optimus’s excitement that he could not stay annoyed for long. Furthermore, he too was excited to finally lay eyes on whatever objects were up here that he could not make out from below.

He turned around and was immediately perplexed. The mysterious objects were right in front of his face, and _still_ they were a mystery to him. Each was a different, mindboggling shape, and every one was massive. All appeared to be made from unnatural elements.

“From the outside world, I presume,” he thought aloud, walking up to a corkscrew-shaped object that was longer than he was tall. Were it not bent in half, it would have been longer still. “What in blazes is this supposed to be?”

Being blessed with such incredible height, Optimus was at just the right level with the ledge to rest its chin upon its arms. It squinted at the corkscrew thing with a shrug of its broad shoulders. There was a dull scrape of armor across stone as it extended a hand to pick up the object by the bend, using its opposing finger to flick the ends once it brought it closer to its face.

_Twu-u-u-u-ung_ , vibrated the object.

Cade scratched his head. “A…a musical instrument?”

Optimus just shrugged again and put it back.

“All right, then. That’s…interesting.” Cade glanced around, then pointed at a great sheet of metal that leaned against the wall. It appeared to have been torn off from something that was even bigger. Carved into it were some bizarre, indistinguishable shapes. “What is _that_? Is it…is it…I don’t know, artwork, or…?”

Again, Optimus looked almost as clueless as Cade felt.

This time Cade was surprised. Were all these things just scrap that Optimus had stumbled across and decided to keep? It was possible. Cade himself was a bit of a packrat, certainly, but only when it came to items he believed to be useful for his hobby, which…well, which could just be about anything, to be honest. Optimus, meanwhile, seemed to collect things for the hell of it.

He tried one more time. “What about…what about those, over there?”

Two enormous semi-circles rested in a far corner, blanketed in a film of grit.

For what felt like an age, Optimus gazed at them with an expression Cade could not read. Finally, it reached past him to gather them up, stirring up a cloud of dust that sparkled in the sunbeams. Dark eyes narrowing, Optimus considered the objects for a bit longer, then carefully situated them till they formed a thick band that encircled its opposite wrist in a snug grip.

“I see, now,” Cade breathed, his heart racing as he looked on in fascination. “It’s a bracelet! Your kind wears jewelry?”

His face fell as Optimus continued to stare at its wrist, its frown deepening.

“What’s wrong, is it too tight? It…well, it does look somewhat…uncomfortable—”

He stopped himself as it closed its eyes, bristling its armor slightly and growling lowly in its chest. After a while it shook its head and took the bracelet off with a huff, tossing the pieces onto a different ledge as though it did not care that it might eventually forget all about them. Cade could not see where the pieces landed, but he did sense the finality in their heavy crash. With some reluctance, he decided that it might be unwise to bring up the bracelet again.

“Well. Anyway,” he said at length, raising a cautious hand for Optimus’s attention, “what am I _supposed_ to be looking at?”

Seeming to catch the hint in his tone, it relaxed its features with a deep sigh, then motioned for him to step aside. Once Cade was at a safe distance, Optimus took the immense “artwork” away from the wall and carefully laid it flat—a simple action that probably would have taken a couple dozen humans to complete in the same amount of time.

What was revealed was one of the last things Cade expected to see: a cracked and weathered stone depiction of a faceless figure. It took him a second or two to distinguish the faded details, but once he recognized the shape of a newborn fawn in the figure’s arms, he had a sneaking suspicion that this was indeed what he thought it was.

“Um…Optimus?” With great effort, he kept his face as neutral as possible as he slowly turned to meet the beast’s gaze. He wracked his brain for a specific story, one of sacred ground that no priest had the courage to visit in almost two hundred years. “Did you…find this on a hilltop, by any chance?”

Not to his surprise, Optimus just gave him a blank stare, completely oblivious to the fact that it had caused three straight moons of panic and fasting at one point.

Cade’s mouth twitched as laughter bubbled up in his chest, but he fought to keep it down for Optimus’s sake. Of course it would not know anything about gods and shrines, so of course it would add an idol to its collection of interesting items if it were to happen across one. And if it was true that the original shrine of the deity of Nature and Fertility used to be somewhere in the midst of the forest, where the boundaries between Optimus and the humans tended to overlap on occasion…

With a soft chuckle, Cade approached the idol and bowed his head, knowing he ought to attempt to patch up this wound, no matter how old it was. “I, uh, don’t speak to you in particular very often, and I know this request is a couple generations late,” he prayed after a moment of thought, “but on behalf of my new friend here, I…humbly beg your pardon.”

He straightened and faced Optimus again, rubbing his chin. “You know, now that I think about it, I’m surprised no one ever thought to blame you for this one. Seems like they do for almost everything else.”

Optimus had tilted its head one way while his back was turned. Now that he was looking, it tilted it to the other side, its eyes squinting as it tried to puzzle out his actions.

“No need to worry about it for right now," Cade promised, walking over to touch its hand. "I’ll try to explain another time, when you can understand me well enough.”

It twitched beneath his touch before it curled its hand away from him with a gentle growl. Using its knuckles, it nudged him safely out of the way once more. On impulse, Cade hissed a gasp through his teeth as Optimus reached for the ancient statue, but it was handled with care as it was moved to a different spot. Where the idol had stood was a large, flat stone, which Optimus slid aside to uncover a shallow hole. To Cade’s utter delight, inside were more familiar surprises.

“Treasure!” he blurted, but he caught himself before he could dive in headfirst. He checked Optimus for permission, and at its nod, he lowered himself into the pit with forced nonchalance.

Surrounding him were several human things, many of which he figured Optimus must have found at old mine entrances and abandoned campsites. Everything suffered from rust or rot to some degree, but these issues were none of his concern. For now, he was happy enough just sifting through the random barrel hoops, wood planks, and pottery shards to see what he could find.

A broken mining pick, a coil of torn rope, a blunt axe head, a bent ladle, a rusty lantern, a bolt for a crossbow…wait, a _what_? Oh, ho, he had never laid his hands on one of _these_ before!

“I can imagine their outrage if they found all this cluttering up my workshop,” Cade snorted, setting the bolt down and glancing up at Optimus with a wry grin. “I could be lacking most of the parts I need, and what little I have would still be too much for them.” He moved on to an ancient chest, his eyebrows shooting up with interest as he noted the lack of a lock. “What’s in here?”

Expecting clothes or tools or perhaps even a weapon, he pried at the lid with fumbling fingers and threw it open. His face drooped slightly in disappointment as he raked a hand through the heap of pure gold that lay inside.

Optimus made a questioning noise.

“Eh,” Cade grunted with a shrug, letting the handful of worthless coins slide off his palm and clink back into the chest. “These days? They’d make pretty counterweights, I guess.”

Closing the lid, he backed up and felt something cool and metallic knock against his heel. With a spooked jump, he brushed his skirt out of the way to find a dented tin cup rolling on its side around his feet.

“Ah,” went Optimus, pointing. “Water! Yes?”

Cade smiled as he picked up the cup. “So this is what we’re looking for…whoa, there!”

A forefinger and thumb descended upon him, trying to gently take the cup from his hands. Chortling, Cade let it drop so Optimus would not pinch him on accident, but of course that only made the task more difficult. Optimus grumbled in frustration as it chased the tiny, bouncing cup through all the scrap with its huge, awkward fingers. Finally it managed to grasp it, but as it lifted it out of the hole, it lost its grip on it yet again.

“Oops,” said Optimus.

Cade climbed out of the pit to retrieve the cup himself, laughing till his face started to hurt. “It’s all right,” he chuckled, halting those fingers as they came plucking at him again, “you don’t have to fill it for me.”

It growled at him playfully; otherwise, it seemed a bit relieved.

“Thank you,” Cade added. “For the cup, and for showing me your things.”

Optimus rumbled something in its tongue.

He blinked, unsure what it was trying to tell him.

It gestured at the pit, then touched Cade’s chest with the tip of its finger.

Cade’s mouth fell open, for now he understood. He reached up to place a hand over his heart as Optimus withdrew. “For…for _me_? Oh, but…but you shouldn’t have! I-I mean…they’re yours. You found them…”

His voice trailed off as he realized that it was not going to change its mind. Its collection of human items was all his, now.

“Th-thank you, Optimus,” he said again, feeling a little silly as his throat swelled up with emotion. “That means a lot to me. I…I could potentially find uses for it all, one way or another.”

It dipped its head with a huff of satisfaction.

His thirst long forgotten, Cade began to rummage through everything all over again, this time inspecting each item in a new light. As thrilled as he was, though, he was aware of Optimus shifting its weight and moving something in the background. Curious, he popped his head up to discover that a new secret hiding place had been revealed, this time in the wall. Optimus’s arm was almost too big to reach into it, yet Cade still caught a glimpse of something glowing inside. After about ten seconds of grunting and feeling around, the beast pulled its arm free, clutching a light pink crystal shard the size of Cade’s entire body.

“So it’s true,” he exclaimed, admiring how the crystal’s rosy glow reflected off of Optimus’s plating. “They do come in another color.”

Optimus took a seat on a lower ledge, tapping the crystal as it brought it to its mouth. “Optimus-food.”

“That’s right.”

“Energon,” it added—or at least that was what Cade heard.

“En…er…?”

_SSCREE_ -UUNCH

Cade swore every hair on his head stood erect when Optimus bit the crystal in half. The gnashing that followed was not quite as bad, though his ears still needed a moment to recover from that first noise.

“Energon,” he finished, rubbing the inside of one ear with his finger. “Good to know.”

He knew he would feel awkward if he just stood there watching Optimus eat, so naturally his eyes returned to the hole that apparently served as a pantry. There was at least one more pink “energon” in there, however it was half the size of the one being consumed at present. His breath hitched when he noticed that there was a smaller blue heap glowing deeper inside; he had not realized that Optimus had saved some of the sacrificial jewelry.

Cade had to squint to discern what was lying beyond the blue glow. It was a shape that he found vaguely familiar— _ah_! So that was where the giant knife was kept. He had wondered where it had gone…

Suddenly, while thinking back to his first morning in the cave, he recalled his earliest moment of fright. Of course—there had been something else up here! So much had happened since then (gods, was it really only three days ago?) that he had forgotten all about it.

“Optimus?”

“Hrrmmph,” it mumbled with its mouth full.

“Have you…hidden anything else away, recently?” Cade cringed at his own nosiness, but it was too late to stop now. “You know. Like something…something even bigger than that, perhaps?” He hooked a thumb over his shoulder, referring to the sheet of metal lying flat behind him, and then he spread his arms wide to try to show Optimus exactly how big he meant. “I saw something that was…huge, and I mean _huge_. It was half your size, I’m almost positive!”

At first Optimus appeared stumped, but after another minute of watching his gestures, its eyes widened. Cade thought he saw a flash of panic before it blinked and swallowed.

“Do you know what I’m talking about?” Cade was brimming with anticipation.

“Rrrrgh,” it grumbled halfheartedly, shrugging one shoulder, then the other.

He patted his chest and pointed at his eyes. “May I _see_ it? Cade see?”

It avoided his gaze, clearly pretending to be fascinated by the stalactites hanging above them.

He dropped the subject with a discouraged sigh. “I understand,” he murmured. “Another bracelet situation...”

His prodding seemed to have made Optimus restless, for all of a sudden it stood up and nodded toward the cave’s mouth, offering an open palm and speaking in a rush: “Optimus…help Cade? Food, water?”

As bewildered as he was, Cade did not have to think twice. “Er...why, yes! Certainly! Yes, let's go.”

Soon he was being carried down the mountain once more, this time with his new cup clutched tightly in his hands. The skies above were clear, the wind was a bit more merciful than usual, and the heights were a little less daunting. All in all, the day ahead felt promising, and Cade looked forward to spending the entirety of it with Optimus.

But in spite of his exhilaration, he could not ignore the ever-growing list of questions unraveling in the back of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how fucked up would it have been if monster boi also unintentionally had, like, a coffin with a skeleton inside  
> *cade voice* wow what's in here *creak* ....thanks!! i hate it!!  
> *optimus voice* oh shit......that's not a maraca


	15. Building

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man

Aside from that close call, the day passed without incident.

As did the next.

By dusk on the third, Optimus was completely on edge, anticipating whatever disaster that was sure to strike sooner or later. Despite his constant onslaught of impulses and trepidations, his relationship with Cade was going well— _too_ well. Bliss was always temporary, and in his experience, it certainly never lasted quite this long.

Their routine began more or less the same: he would make sure his denmate’s needs were met, and then he would take it down the mountain to romp and forage. Yet each day was filled with new discoveries and opportunities as he introduced Cade to its new territory. It was enthralled by every landmark, from the highest tree to the deepest gully, and Optimus enjoyed its various noises of awe and wonder. He tried not to miss a single glimpse of its facial reactions, either, for the more time they spent together, the more he appreciated every detail of its features. The Ache had blinded him to this at first, for it favored scent, sound, and sensation over appearance, but Optimus had come to realize that Cade certainly was rather attractive for a fleshling.

He could never seem to drag his gaze away from his companion whenever its attention was on something other than him. Often he caught himself admiring how the dappled sunlight trembled upon its cheek, the way its lips moved in a soft mutter, how its eyes squinted in deep thought, and sometimes—as Cade climbed or bent or stretched for closer inspection—the way its white covering accentuated its form. Said covering looked a bit tight in some places, and every place was just right. Such a fine, delicate material was easily damaged whenever it got caught on sticks and bushes, causing him to wonder how much more abuse it will take before the whole thing fell off altogether.

As much as he tried to forget about their unfortunate exchange on the cliff, Optimus remembered how nice and soft Cade’s bare bottom had felt in his palm. If only he had seen…

 _Have patience, and you may_!

But how difficult it was to be patient, especially now that he knew what to do to weaken the fleshling’s knees. Simple acts such as sitting down or standing up was enough to make Cade flush pink, so Optimus did not have to do much to take his display a step further. A soft purr here. A casual stretch there. A slight lift of the mouth on one side whenever he gave it something colorful—a foreign facial expression to him, but it always worked in his favor; perhaps this was a flirtatious signal among fleshlings.

Last but not least, he made certain their outings did not end before he lifted something that would be considered massive to one of Cade’s size.

“That’s…very generous, Optimus.” Cade’s voice leaped a few octaves when Optimus uprooted a full-grown pine on the third day. It had sat by the river to watch the currents race through the stones, only to end up gawking at him instead. “We’ve collected more than enough firewood already, though, d-don’t you think?”

Optimus still had yet to expand his fleshling vocabulary quite that far, so he had responded to its stammering chatter in the best way he knew how, and that was to balance the tree across his shoulders and ask: “Optimus…good, yes?”

His denmate sprang to its feet, gesturing wildly and sputtering: “Wh-what’s that suppos—? Never mind! Come now, let’s put the tree down.”

“No tree?”

“No tree!”

“Hmph,” Optimus grunted, but he had been happy to follow Cade’s wishes, for apparently throwing large objects garnered positive feedback, as well.

He might have done more to fluster Cade were it not for his increasing desire to learn. The world around them was filled with more fleshling-words than he ever imagined—names upon names upon names, in some cases—and Cade seemed determined to share as many of them as possible.

It taught him that a flying-creature was called a _bird_ , and that water that fell from the _sky_ was called _rain_ even though it was still water. A _tree_ that had fallen many seasons ago was now a _log_ , and a _mushroom_ was a suspicious growth that was better off left alone. Cade often referred to their den as a _cave_ , inside which it would build a _fire_ in the evening, and beside the fire it would fuss over a mess of twigs it had bundled together and called a _trap_.

“For fish, when it’s complete,” Cade had explained with a note of pride. “Not an original design, I’m afraid, but I think it’ll do.”

Optimus did not quite understand, but he did not question it.

With his help, the fleshling had also since positioned a log over the stream near the back of the den, and suddenly the log was not a log, but a _bridge_. Cade used this bridge to cross safely when it wanted to hide behind a _curtain_ it had fashioned out of a _rope_ and some leafy vines. This was a small corner where Optimus was “absolutely, positively not!” allowed to follow. The arrangement deeply concerned him, for he feared Cade would get stuck in one of the deep holes that pockmarked the area. But it always carried a _torch_ with it to aid its poor eyesight, so thus far such an accident had not occurred.

“For privacy,” was all the explanation Cade was willing to give on this particular behavior.

At this point, Optimus was not sure he even wanted to know.

All of the words it taught him he had no trouble remembering, though pronouncing some of them required a bit of extra practice before he was fully satisfied. He ran them through his mind over and again throughout the day, and then at night while Cade slept, he murmured them aloud while he stood watch at the den’s entrance. Surprisingly, these practice sessions had helped distract him from his desire to pleasure himself in secret. He had suppressed the urge for three straight nights.

Alas, he did not believe that he was going to last a fourth.

It was bad enough that his supply of blue energon was dwindling even faster than that of the regular; he could go out and collect the regular at any time, but for more of the blue, he would have to either scour the mountains for measly scraps, or wait for another hundred wet seasons for the next offering. Neither choice will do in this situation. Cade was with him, here and now. And Cade was unknowingly catalyzing Optimus’s suffering almost as much as it was abating it.

Ever since their patrol along the river, it had fallen into the habit of grooming him before it bedded down for the night.

He knew he should not have encouraged this, but…it felt so _good_. Cade’s fingers were just that much more efficient than anything Optimus had ever used to relieve his most irritable, unreachable spots. Already he was at the point where he could lie down on his belly beside Cade’s nest without being asked, and Cade would drop everything and climb up onto his back at once, as though this ritual was something it had come to look forward to all day, every day.

The Ache, of course, looked forward to this even more than either of them.

Cade was scratching the underside of one of his back plates, now. Optimus bit back a groan and shivered. He had learned to keep himself still, but as long as the Ache was building up inside him, it was impossible to stay relaxed.

“Uh, oh.” The fleshling sounded amused. “Did that tickle?”

It pulled its hand out, and a whine escaped Optimus before he could stop himself.

“Ah, so you do like it, then.”

The scratching started up again. Optimus purred his approval, feeling a flash of triumph as he heard Cade give one of those soft chuckles that often accompanied a blush.

 _Doesn’t the rest of its body turn red like that, too_?

It did, but now was not the time to remind himself of that!

As much as Optimus wanted Cade to stay there forever, he needed it to hurry up and finish before the pent-up Ache sent him into a frenzy. Yes, he was going to have to make friction tonight, for sure. The sooner his mate went to sleep, the sooner he could dash out and do just that.

Carefully he arched his back, urging Cade to move up with a low growl. Its fingers gripped his armor for stabilization as it maneuvered itself closer to his neck. Kneeling, it started to—oh, _yes_!—now it was kneading the softer metal between his plating. His hips gave an involuntary twitch, his hot groin begging to be exposed as fluid built up behind the plating that shielded his opening. If only he could just…grind discreetly against the stone…

“You’re dreadfully warm,” Cade squeaked, pausing suddenly. “Are you unwell? Should, um…should I stop?”

Optimus froze, his mind racing. From the sound of it, Cade sensed his tension and had its suspicions. How much longer could he last, pretending all was well for its sake?

 _Patience_.

 _Take, take, take_!

 _PATIENCE_.

It moved onto his shoulder, its signal that it was done. Taking a deep breath to clear his head, Optimus pushed himself up into a kneel, reaching up to “catch” his denmate as usual. He held it level to his face and hummed, noting that it did not appear nearly as tired now as it did the last few nights. “I believe you are ready for the trip I promised you.”

“Pardon?”

“Cade sleep,” he added in its language, drawing an invisible arc over his head to represent the sun rising. “Cade…see energon.”

It copied his gesture and smiled. “So…we will see the energon _tomorrow_.”

“To…morrow.”

The fleshling then lowered its gaze, face falling as it traced the seams in Optimus’s palm. “I don’t know if I can, now. Not while I’m worried about you.” It looked up at him once more, searching his eyes for answers. “What’s making you so restless? I’ve seen you sleep only once since we met.”

Before Optimus could formulate any sort of response to this chatter, an idea sparked in Cade’s eyes. It reached for him with both hands. Without thinking, he brought it closer till its palms touched his face. Its scent washed over his nasal plating, filling his cavities and pushing his control to its limit. Panic gripped Optimus’s spark, but all he could do was wrestle the Ache down and remain as still and rigid as possible as Cade first timidly, then boldly massaged his cheeks, just below his eyes.

“It’s all right.” Cade offered a nervous smile, as though it had only now realized how close they were to each other. “See? We’re not pulling any thorns this time. This is supposed to feel nice.”

Optimus squeezed his eyes shut. He guessed that this was an attempt to relax him. Were he not in the midst of his Aching time, the massage most likely would have worked wonders. Now, instead, Cade’s “helpful” ministrations and close proximity were stimulating him more than ever before!

But he could not pull away. Pulling away would only add to his denmate’s concern.

On the other hand, if he did not…

It eased off for a moment, hesitating. Then one hand traveled higher, brushing his scar with its fingertips ever so softly.

His eyes flew back open in shock. _There_? And with such tenderness? But…but that was the mark of his curse. Nothing good ever touched him there. That was the way of things…was it not?

Optimus wanted this, regardless. He _loved_ this. In the end, however, a strange, yet familiar pang of fear surged within him, and he pulled away at last.

Cade’s flinch of regret was impossible to ignore. “I’m so sorry…I shouldn’t have—”

“No, no.” Optimus started shaking his head even before it spoke. Rubbing its back with his thumb, he cooed to it in its tongue in hopes to reassure them both. “Good. Cade good.”

After a few extra unnecessary apologies, Cade was soon calm. Optimus lowered it into its nest, continuing to caress it as he had done every night since their first outing together. He had since vowed to always be there for his mate as it fell asleep, and he refused to let himself break that promise even now.

“Cade sleep,” he repeated, softer this time.

It conceded with a sigh. “Sorry,” it murmured again for good measure, and then it closed its eyes. “Good night, Optimus.”

“Good…night.”

He remained by its side as he listened for its soft snores. Yet again he was reminded how much smaller Cade looked while safe and snug in its nest. A phantom pain seared his scar, and he curled his lip into a sneer as something fierce and protective reared its head inside him. Protective against what, exactly, he was not entirely sure. There were several possibilities. But for some reason, he had never been able to figure it out. He was not afraid of any of the faces he could think of, but this particular threat had no face at all. Instead, it was nothing but a blur of darkness and pain and deceit.

By the time he was certain his mate was fast asleep, dusk had faded into night, and Cade’s fire was no more. As quietly as he could, he slipped out of the den, desperate to escape that empty, murky feeling of dread that had been chasing him since the day he crossed the metal plain to hide away in this valley, starving and delirious, burdened with weapons that were not his and wearing bonds he did not put on himself.

 _Mine_.

For once he was grateful for the Ache’s distracting persistence as he reached the bottom of the mountain. It was possible that the outcrop he latched onto was too close to the den, but he did not have enough patience to be choosy. Like before, visions of Cade filled his mind, and soon he was lost in a fog of pleasure…

…and pure fury that he could not explain.

All fear was forgotten.

 _Cade is mine_.

 _Whoever challenges_.

 _I fight_.

 _Whoever hurts_.

 _I_.

 _Kill_.

 _Tear_.

 _To pieces_.

 _Cade is mine_.

 _Mine_.

 _Mine_!

There was a terrible snarl as he climaxed, one he could not believe came from his own body. But as he blacked out, this, too, was forgotten.

Afterward, he rinsed off and climbed back up the bluff, intending to check on his mate one more time before going out to find some of its favorite plants. He felt dazed and slow, yet abuzz and alert all at once. Not normal, but not bad, either. A good, empowering sort of different—

What greeted him upon entry was a scent he did not expect.

He stopped in his tracks and inhaled.

Was that…? No, it could not be. Cade was asleep.

Indeed, as he approached the nook, he found the fleshling exactly where he had left it. Its position, however, had changed while he was out. Before, it had been curled up beneath its blanket like normal. Now it was lying on its opposite side, its clenched fists partially buried in its bedding, its blanket bunched up between its legs. Leaning closer, Optimus noticed that its parted lips were twitching, though its eyes were closed.

“Cade?” he murmured, trying his best to ignore what Cade’s scent was doing to him.

“Hhhnn,” went the fleshling, but it did not wake up. Its legs moved, drawing his attention back downward. Both thighs had clasped tighter around the blanket. And Cade’s hips were clearly—albeit very slowly—pumping against it.

Optimus nearly choked on his own whimper. His spark raced as the Ache returned in full force. For a long time, he could do nothing but stare.

He was not smelling things.

Cade was definitely, extremely aroused.

Aroused and grinding away…in its _sleep_!

Optimus raised his hand and hesitated, frantically searching his conscience for the wisest action, but said conscience was failing him.

“Cuh.” Now his voice was failing him, too. “C…C…?!”

Finally he managed to reach into the nest and touch its shoulder. His initial intention was to reposition it, wake it, anything to make it stop, but at the last moment he halted himself from nudging the fleshling. His finger curled away, but not without stroking Cade’s back on accident.

The scent grew stronger as Cade groaned and writhed in response. “Ah…Opti…mus…!”

That did it. Optimus spun around and stumbled out of the den.

 _No Yes No Take Take Mate Mine Mine Mine_!!

He tore down the mountainside, driven mad with a monstrous arousal of his own. His vision was like a tunnel. His body was ablaze. Never in his life had the Ache resurfaced this fast, and so soon after a round of pleasure-making.

It was probably the exact same rock—pit if he knew. Whichever rock it was, he crashed into it, grasped it in a crushing embrace, even tried to bite it as he rutted. Somehow, it gave way beneath him. He could neither see nor hear. Scrambled blindly for something else. Mounted that one, too. Pictured Cade moaning and moving against him like that. Groaned. Howled. Slammed. Thought he was going to explode.

 _Blasted pit-spawned fleshling_!!

And then, suddenly, he was seeing stars he had never seen before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh dear


	16. Budding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! look!! two chapters in one month, and March isn't halfway over yet!!! the heck!!!!

Cade was not sure how or why, but he was sitting through his own death ceremony all over again—or so he thought.

It was true that he had been distraught and unfocused on the morn of his final day among fellow humans. He could not recall a single word that was spoken on the platform, only the pounding thrum inside his head. But surely he would have at least remembered the cheerful flowers that decorated every wall and post in the square? None of the other villagers had been dressed in their temple-best, either, had they?

 _Oh, that’s right_ , he beamed. _I’m finally getting married_!

A bellow shook the village, and the vast gathering of faceless onlookers vanished in a whirlwind of petals as he was suddenly swept off his feet by the starving creature to whom he was wed. Dark eyes bored into his very soul. Thunder growled his name. He was captivated, immobile. Completely at its mercy.

 _Taste me_.

Cade’s plea was answered without hesitation. Out unfurled the tongue with a blast of searing heat that dissolved every fiber of his clothing, allowing the tip to fondle him right where he still wanted it so very desperately. His cry of relief was drowned out by the lustful moan of his giant lover.

Moaning, grunting, roaring—the noise never seemed to stop, and neither did the pleasure. It was so passionate and vivid, almost…real. So real that Cade swore the sounds of his dream carried over as he tumbled into the beast’s gaping maw and landed in the messy comfort of his nest-bed.

The cave was still dark. He was hot, sweating. His body screamed for release.

“Wh-what,” he slurred, and then he was struck with a horrifying realization. “Oh, no.” He bolted upright and struggled to disentangle himself from his blanket, which had somehow managed to ball itself up between his legs, cushioning his hard cock. Although he had yet to climax, his constricting undercloth already felt a bit…sticky. “No, no—not _this_ , not here!”

Mortified, he forced himself to squint through the darkness, his voice cracking as he called out. “Optimus? You’re not in here, are you?”

No answer. No sign. Thank goodness.

But it was bound to return before dawn broke—perhaps as early as the next instant—bringing something freshly-picked for breakfast, as usual. He swallowed and quivered as he imagined Optimus walking in on him while he was in this state. His erection could he concealed with ease, but Cade had long since learned that Optimus could detect scents that a human could not. Would it not smell the emissions of his pleasure? How would it react if it recognized the meaning behind it? Was another…scent-marking session in store for him, or would something different happen this time?

He had come up with logical explanations for its behavior before. At this point, however, it was hard to be certain what it will do next. Over the past few days, every time Cade convinced himself that his feelings for Optimus were well hidden, Optimus would go out of its way to make him second-guess himself. Every bloody chance it had to show off its physique at just the right angle, it took with enthusiasm—as well as a hint of smugness, Cade was positive of it! As absurd as it sounded, it was almost as if it was toying with his resolve _on purpose_.

Almost as if…it _knew_.

Remembering the way it often shivered beneath his hands whenever he tended to its armor, Cade felt a delightful tingle run up and down his own spine. For a moment—just a moment—he believed that perhaps his greatest wish was coming true. Which led him to wonder whether his dream will come true, as well…

Oh, right. That. What in the world kind of dream was that, anyway? He had already forgotten most of the details, not to mention what the hell brought it on in the first place!

Awkwardly he clambered out of the nest, trying to keep his thoughts on subjects that were dull and not at all related to Optimus, but that was difficult to do when he was already this far along. It would be so easy to simply take the risk and finish himself off. So what if Optimus came in and saw him? Was that not what he truly wanted?

Hissing a curse, Cade snatched up his cup, took an angry sip of water, and splashed the rest of it into his face. Then began the pacing. This time he kept his mind on practical things that he still needed to craft. More than one fish trap would be ideal. Some sconces to light up this place would be marvelous, as well as some way to fuel that rusty lantern he had found in the hoard. Eventually he will need more clothes, as well—the sleeves and bottom of his dress were starting to become a little tattered—which meant he might have to teach himself how to hunt and skin woodland animals on top of everything else.

His list of necessities was rather worrisome, but reviewing it did the trick. Before long he felt better, albeit very unsatisfied and somewhat filthy. Feeling around with his toes, he located the edge and crept his way down to the cave floor; the darkness did not matter here, for he had navigated these footholds so often that he already had them memorized. From there, he chose to rely on his ears and nerves to find his way to the stream, rather than wasting time trying to light a fire. That frightening plunge into the cold water was still fresh in his memory, though, so he proceeded with utmost caution, especially once he felt the stone become damp beneath his scratched, dirty feet.

 _Boots_ , he added to his mental list with a wistful sigh.

His fingers brushed the rough bark of the log bridge, but he did not come back here to access his latrine; he would never dare to venture past this point in pitch blackness. When he had Optimus set the log here for him, he had discovered a place next to it where he could safely lower himself into the crevice without falling into the stream itself. After removing his undercloth with a grimace, he used the bottommost of these natural steps as a platform to kneel on while he gave the cloth a good soak, careful not to let go as the greedy current attempted to tug it out of his hands. Though the cloth had hardly counted as an extra layer beneath his dress, he still felt oddly exposed without it.

 _Can I last a day without Optimus noticing that I’m wearing nothing underneath_?

As thrilling as this thought was, it spooked him enough to finish cleaning up and hurry back as fast as the darkness would let him. Optimus had made “seeing energon” sound like a day-long adventure, so he figured he had better let his cloth dry out somewhere and try to get some more sleep before sunrise. Alas, when he finally settled down in his nest, he could not help wondering if he should have gone ahead and washed his dress and blanket, too. And his bedding. And his entire body. And the surrounding air. Sod it, the whole cave!

“Oh! It’ll have to do,” he yawned as he rolled over, and that was that. He had walked it off and washed away the evidence. Surely, that was enough…

What woke him next was the comforting presence of Optimus, returned at last. Cade greeted its looming face with a lazy smile as he lay on his back, stretching his arms above his head—and then he froze as he remembered that he was one layer short. His skirt had ridden up while he slept, but thankfully his blanket was covering him like it was supposed to.

“Good morning,” he said, clearing his throat.

“Good…mor-r-r-rning,” Optimus repeated, very low and very close.

Cade’s heart faltered as Optimus took in his scent. Its breath felt as warm as—if not warmer than—its armor had felt last night. The air between them contained a trace of sweetness, one that Cade found familiar but could not place. And was he seeing through the eyes of his shame, or was Optimus’s gaze lighting up with interest? Oh, gods, the way it was looking at him, like it could see every dark secret playing out in his mind!

 _It’s not what you think_ , he wanted to shout as it continued to scrutinize him, but he controlled himself at the last minute. That would have been a lie, anyway.

“Did you bring food?” he blurted instead, successfully shattering the intimate moment.

Of course it had brought food. Eager to start off such a big day as well as possible, Cade wrapped himself up with his blanket, then got out of the nest to sit and eat as he normally did, not daring to glance at the rock where he had left his undercloth. He doubted Optimus had not noticed it was there, but he would rather not draw any unnecessary attention to it—

Right then, from out of the corner of his eye, Cade saw Optimus’s fingers pause next to him, pinching something that dangled between them. He did not have to look to know what it was. Nevertheless, when he finally did turn his head, he wanted to die.

“Rrrblblbltktk?”

“Yes, thank you,” he choked, snatching his undercloth from its grip and snapping his gaze back to his meal. He could not bear to check Optimus’s facial reaction, he could not! If it threw one more smirk at him, one more purr, _anything_ , he was doomed.

Curiously, it was silent for a few beats before it announced in a strained voice: “Optimus…sit. See…uh…sky.”

It then hurried outside to do just that, leaving him to finish his breakfast on his own. Within heartbeats, the air around him felt considerably cooler. Behavior such as this was not new to Cade, but it had never stopped worrying him. At present, however, his concern was overridden by his immense relief, for now he could dress in private.

His breakfast was bigger than usual, so he had all the time he needed to wrestle down his embarrassment. A while later he was ready, and he went out to find Optimus sitting at the edge of the cliff, facing the wind and fiddling with something in its hands. As Cade approached, his eyebrows flew up once he realized that the object was its knife.

“Expecting trouble, are we?”

Somewhat startled, it looked down at him with widened eyes, then lowered the gleaming blade from his view. “No rain,” it commented, gesturing at the clouds receding from the opposite peaks.

Cade shook his head and crossed his arms as best as he could with the blanket’s corners clutched in his fists. “Weather discussions aren’t good distractions, Optimus. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

It fidgeted.

“What is it for?” he asked, nodding at its obscured hand.

With a grumble, his companion confessed at last. “Walk…river, mountain...Optimus-ground. No good.”

Following its pointing finger in the direction the river flowed, Cade felt his stomach drop a little. “You mean…your energon is all the way out there? Outside the valley?”

“Optimus-ground,” it repeated with a confirming nod.

“Yes, I see,” Cade gulped. “The metal.” All of a sudden he did not feel quite so ready; for some reason it never occurred to him that Optimus's food source might be out in that shimmering, forbidden land. Alarming still was the reminder that Optimus had participated in its fair share of scuffles, and was likely to stumble into many more. If its reaction to him touching its red scar meant anything (Cade cringed inwardly at the memory, despite knowing that all was forgiven), it meant that beyond these mountains were creatures far more dangerous than what his people had made Optimus out to be.

A gentle rumble and a soft touch on his arm reined in his nerves and brought his eyes upward to meet those of Optimus. “Cade wait?”

“Of course not,” Cade snorted, shrugging off his anxiety. “I’m coming with you, friend. In fact, we ought to begin our journey right now, shouldn't we?”

“Hm,” went Optimus, appearing not to be surprised in the slightest.

Without further questioning, it lined the flat of its blade up with the outer side of its thigh, just below the hip. Before Cade could even ask, the armor there… _split apart_ from the seam, separating into many clicking pieces which then came sliding back over the knife as soon as its wielder’s hand withdrew. It was a complicated, beautiful ripple of movement, and it all happened in a matter of seconds.

Cade rubbed his eyes. “What—You—Did your body just… _absorb_ that?!”

Eyes twinkling, Optimus offered an open hand.

“Now hold on a minute! Were you able to do that this whole time?”

Its fingers beckoned.

“How! How does that even work? Didn’t it hurt? Or is it like a pocket? You can get it back out again, can’t you?”

There was a sigh, and suddenly he was plucked up and plopped into its palm. In spite of his excitement over witnessing the impossible, Cade was instantly aware that its plating still felt a bit hot. His surroundings became even warmer as Optimus cradled him close to its chest as they descended the mountain.

“Unbelievable,” Cade muttered with a secret smile. “Every second with you is a surprise, I swear my life on it.”

His puzzling feelings, self-doubt, and embarrassing moments aside, his time with Optimus truly had been an incredible experience thus far. Optimus had proven to be an astonishingly fast learner, but Cade felt in his heart that if it had not been capable of speech, verbal communication likely would not have been necessary. As strange as it seemed, from the very beginning there had been a sort of silent connection between them, a mutual understanding that was aided by a language of gestures and expressions, tone and movement. Though Optimus was wild and often behaved as such, Cade could definitely see now that there was something very human inside it.

 _It_. Cade’s nose wrinkled in disdain. Such a small word that had been ingrained in his vocabulary, two seemingly-harmless letters that were always used for anything that was not natural or human, felt more and more wrong as the days wore on. But what could be used instead in this situation? Neither “he” nor “she” yet, for he still did not know for certain.

“…That leaves ‘they’,” he thought aloud, scratching his bearded chin. “ _They_?” A little awkward when used for one rather than many, but that did not mean it was incorrect, did it? “Gods help me. Why can’t words be simple like numbers?”

Well, it was not like a scribe was going to pop out of the bushes to lecture him if he was wrong.

Snickering at the mere idea, he readjusted his seat in Optimus’s cupped hand, petting its— _their_ smooth plating out of habit. Optimus shivered and paused to glance down at him with a string of soft clicks as the heat around him intensified. Looking deep into those eyes, Cade was reminded of his outrageous dream in an instant, and he felt his face flash crimson.

“Tickling you again, aren’t I? S-sorry.”

The corners of their mouth turned up, killing him instantly. Almost.

At the foot of the mountain, Optimus placed him beside the little stream as though today was like any other day.

“Oh, no, I’m fine for now.” Cade would have stayed on their palm had they not tilted their hand to gently force him off. “I can steal a drink further downriver.”

But his companion responded with a shake of their head. “Wait, wait. Optimus…sit.”

He blinked in confusion as Optimus settled down on the soft ground, closing their eyes and filling their chest with a long, deep breath that trembled as waves of heat radiated from their body. Noting the way they tilted their head back slightly and pressed their lips tightly together, Cade recognized this as what he had dubbed a “meditating moment”. But why now? Did he and Optimus not have a long way to go, yet?

“Are you sure you’re not feeling ill, Optimus?”

“Sh, sh, sh,” went Optimus, mimicking the way Cade had hushed them once. Their eyes remained closed, and their head tilted back further. Another breath was drawn in, this time held for a few heartbeats before it was slowly whooshed back out.

“Right,” Cade sighed. “You, er, keep doing that, then.”

Though he was not thirsty, he crouched by the crystal-clear current to scoop up a few sips. This did little to pass the time, unfortunately, and it did nothing at all to ease his concern. As much as he enjoyed the warmth Optimus gave off, he could not ignore the fact that their temperature had risen steadily over time. Was it possible that Optimus was suffering from a fever? Was a creature made of metal even capable of contracting illnesses? Oh, if only Optimus would just let him know what was going on so he could help! He hated standing by and feeling useless…

He sniffed. There it was again—that sweet, intoxicating scent! It was stronger down here. Could it be a plant he had never seen before? Perhaps Optimus had rolled around in a patch of it during the night, and that was why Cade had smelled it while the two of them were still up in the cave.

A quick glance over his shoulder confirmed that Optimus had not budged. Cade decided to follow his nose.

Leaping over the stream, he navigated the hilly maze of boulders on the other side, sniffing and searching, but to no avail. Soon there came a point where he could no longer see Optimus when he turned around to check on them. But before he could make a decision on whether or not to go back, he noticed something… _odd_ about the landscape.

Cade weaved his way down yet another hill, and the closer he got to the scene the more baffled he became, for he actually recognized this area. Just two afternoons ago, he and Optimus had wandered this direction on their way back to the cave. And on that day, there had definitely been a massive outcrop here—not the crumbled mess that was in front of him now.

“Good gods, what happened?” he exclaimed, eyes widening the longer he stared at the various shapes and sizes of broken rock scattered everywhere. It was like one of said gods had crushed the outcrop in a single stomp.

Bewildering still, the sweet scent was now at its strongest, and like a bee to a flower, Cade was absolutely smitten.

“Cade?” Optimus’s voice carried over the crest of the hill. “Cade!”

“Don’t panic,” he called back as he approached the rocks to investigate. “I’m right over—ugh!—um, over…here.”

His foot just came down on something cool and slimy, and he was almost too afraid to look down to see what it was. Some of it remained stuck to him as he pulled away, but his frown of disgust softened the moment he realized that whatever he had stepped in was the source of the mysterious smell. Wiping his foot on the grass, he peered down at last to find a small, blueish puddle of translucent substance.

 _What in the world_?

The ground was trembling from Optimus’s fast approach, but even that was not enough to distract him. He bent down and took a deep breath, a soft swoon slipping past his lips as he drank in the scent. No matter how many times he inhaled, he could not seem to get enough of it. Why, a part of him even wanted to taste it! Dipping a finger into the strange substance, he watched the string of goo between his finger and the puddle stretch thinner and thinner as he withdrew a tiny sample.

He was holding up the liquid pearl for closer inspection, admiring how it shimmered on his fingertip, when Optimus came to a crashing halt behind him. They made an odd choking sound, then fell deathly silent and still.

“Take a look at what I found!” At the same time, Cade stood and turned around to face them. “It’s like…like honey, or something, but—? Uh, Optimus?”

Eyes rounder than suns, Optimus stared down at him, then surveyed the destroyed outcrop before returning their petrified gaze back to him…and to the puddle. Their trembling armor slowly bushed out like the fur of a feline. Their breath became heavy, almost labored as it passed through their flared nose plating. A low whine sounded from within their chest.

Cade’s heart beat faster. “What’s wrong? What’s happened here? Optimus—?”

The low whine escalated into a full-blown yell, and suddenly Optimus was lunging at him.

Startled as he was, Cade had no time to properly react. His first instinct was to flee, but he was so confused he ended up stumbling to the ground, dangerously close to knocking his teeth out on one of the rocks. Swiftly he pushed himself back up, but before he could make any further moves, he was caught.

“Whoa, whoa! Optimus!” Panting, he held his hands up in surrender as Optimus brought him to their face, whimpering and snuffling and driving his panicked mind into an aroused frenzy with their heat and scent and vibrations and oh, dear—so much for trying to prevent another one of _these_! “Easy, friend, easy! Look at me.”

“No,” Optimus snarled, but they did not seem to be answering him; their eyes were blinking and rolling about too much. “No! No!”

Cade yelped as he was thrust farther away from their face. On impulse, he held onto their fist as best as he could manage as he felt himself being carried at a brisk pace, each footfall causing his teeth to click together. His vision swam with tears as the wind licked his eyes, forcing him to squeeze them shut. “Argh…Optimus, please, where do you think you’re going? Just stop and put me down, and I’ll talk you through this!”

Optimus growled something unintelligible, and that was all the response Cade got. He noticed the river’s chatter was becoming louder, and not long after that the heavy crash of Optimus’s feet splashing through the water was all he could hear for a short while. By the time they were across, Cade was beginning to wonder how much longer his body could stand the heat of Optimus’s fist before his skin started to blister…!

As though they read his mind, Optimus came to an abrupt stop and lowered him to the ground at last. He staggered into the trunk of the nearest pine, gasping with a shiver as the cool morning air enveloped him. Still panting, he flattened his back against the trunk and slid down into a sit, then looked up at the huffing, puffing titan with imploring eyes.

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

Alas, Optimus was already whipping around and stomping across the clearing. For an awful moment Cade thought they were about to abandon him. Instead, he soon saw and understood that the bristling beast was pacing without aim. Oddly, this reminded him of his own pacing session that he had held in the middle of the night—frustrated, pent-up, grumbling, stamping, the whole works. Perhaps all Optimus needed was a moment to shake off whatever demons were plaguing them. Cade slowly began to relax.

But at that instant, Optimus halted quite some distance away, unleashed another bellow that turned Cade’s bones into mush—and then began to attack the trees.

In a flash of flailing arms, they pummeled the first pine they came across, sending branches and flecks of bark flying. Their hands grasped the trunk in a crushing grip, snapping the tree in half even before it was uprooted. Those two splintered halves were torn into smaller pieces within a minute, and before Cade could even blink, Optimus was already locked onto their next target. This one was taller, but that did not stop their wrath; it, too, was uprooted, and then was wielded like a weapon, handled in such a way that there was no denying that Optimus had done this before. With resounding crack after resounding crack they bludgeoned the forest, sending clods of dirt flinging every which way with each mighty swing.

This was power and fury unlike anything Cade had ever imagined from stories of war. This was an entire human army rolled up into one creature. _This_ was more like the beast that his village feared so much.

Yet he knew better than to let fear overtake him.

Taking a deep breath, he repositioned himself to make himself more comfortable. He was not about to give up trying to help Optimus. Before he could do anything, though, he must first wait out this storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp, this hot mess just got hotter and messier  
> big thanks to everybody who still checks in, btw! this WIP's already almost 1 year old, can you believe that? i sure as frick can't!


	17. Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here i am, back again!

His last clear sight was of Cade.

Delicious, irresistible, _oblivious_ Cade.

Little did the fleshling know that where it stood was the aftermath of a passionate romp that it had caused. Did it not realize that its fingers were sticky with _his_ pleasure fluid—the one tiny spot that Optimus had actually _missed_? Did it have any idea that its own salty, thick musk was still clinging to its body wherever it went?

If Cade was not aware, Optimus certainly was. The intermingling scents of their pleasure filled him, possessed him on the spot. He was stuck. Helpless.

The relief from his second round had been temporary. With all his might he had fought to maintain his self-control from the moment he had trudged back into the den; even the bit of blue energon he took did nothing to ease the excruciating, boiling pressure that had been building up inside him once again. Seeing Cade so flustered over its own poorly-kept secret only aroused him further, yet he, too, had tried so very hard to pretend that he was fine, that everything was all right. At the foot of the mountain, for a mere few blessed sparkbeats, he had believed it will be so.

Alas, not even the combined strength of an entire colony could prevent an eruption as sudden and forceful as this one.

What resulted was a raging, pounding blur like no other. As it always did, the Ache demanded pleasure, but this time, there was no pleasure to be had. In its place was wild desperation, for Optimus refused to bend to the will of the knot of need pulsing deep within. Not now, not like this! Cade was supposed to make the first move, not he!

_Scent-scent mine-mine claimed marked taken but not taken yet TAKE make it so NO be gentle no harm please please TAKE CLAIM MATE_

Through it all, from a great distance, he heard Cade’s voice. He could tell the fleshling was trying to bring him back to his senses. But he could also feel in his grasp the soft warmth that he had grown to treasure so much. The lovely scent. The trembling breath. The rapid sparkbeat, ba-bumpba-bumpba-bumpba-bumpba-bump—!

_I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t_

He tried to flee, but there was no fleeing one’s own inner urges.

This infuriated him.

Cornered.

Trapped.

He lunged for the Ache’s throat, instead.

_I won’t I won’t I won’t I won’t I won’t_

A dark place with many bleeding eyes. His chest rattled with snarls as he hacked and slashed his adversary to pieces. His blood rushed, his spark sang; so long, it had been so long. He could defeat anything that was pitted against him. He was invincible. Unstoppable.

_Perfect_.

And then all of a sudden, after what seemed like mere moments, it was all over. Panting, he sank down to his hands and knees. Fatigued, yet victorious. Satisfied, until next time.

Rather than blacking out as he normally did, he remained as he was, conscious yet dazed as he slowly regained his bearings. Bit by bit his mind forgot and his vision cleared, confusing him further the more his true surroundings were revealed. His armor itched. His jaw was clenched. His fingertips had plunged themselves into the soft ground, he was so tense. _What did I just do_? _Where am I_?

Lifting his head, he was struck with shock as he took in all the damage that had been done. Fresh holes and splintered stumps pockmarked the outskirts of the clearing into which he had stumbled. Limbs, needles, leaves, and clods of dirt littered the grass. It was as though a brief, terrible whirlwind had ripped through this part of the forest.

_Oh_.

That whirlwind, of course, had been Optimus.

Sick with shame, he let his head drop again.

He had felt somewhat sheepish last night when he realized that the force of his thrusts had crushed that outcrop into pieces. This, though…this made him feel awful. Causing a bit of damage here and there during one’s Aching time was natural. But what he saw here was not even the result of passion—it was one of pure violence.

There was a slight rustle behind him. Even as a surge of relief ran through him, his spark cowered, and he remained frozen. He knew those footsteps. Which meant that Cade had witnessed everything to the bitter end.

_For your sake_ , he pleaded silently, but at this point the excuse felt weak. He could not bring himself to turn around and see the horror that was surely plastered across the fleshling’s face. Horror that Optimus would give anything to replace with whatever expression it would have shown had he gone ahead and mounted something right in front of it, instead. There was no excuse. No excuse for his actions whatsoever. Unless…

Unless the darkness inside him was not quite as dormant as he had hoped it had become.

“Please no,” he whispered to the grass, shivering. “No, no, anything but that…”

“Optimus.”

There, in the left corner of his vision, he caught a glimpse of white. Cade was standing there just outside of arm’s reach, sounding calm, so very calm and close. Optimus almost could not believe his eyes. Almost.

“Did this work? Are you all right, now?”

He no longer smelled himself on Cade. In fact, Cade’s scent overall seemed…damp. Optimus slowly turned his head—just enough so he could spot the wet sheen glistening on its arms and feet. He nodded to himself as his befuddled mind finally recognized what he was actually smelling.

“River,” he croaked, timidly meeting its gaze at last.

Cade’s face broke into a relieved smile. “Yes! I thought I was reaching, but I realized that…that…slime? It was…repelling you, I suppose, so I-I just—” Nodding down at itself, it outspread dripping arms that did not quiver with fear. Its eyes, Optimus saw, held nothing but bewilderment and deep concern for him. No horror. No repulsion. “I think it’s all off, now. Gods, it certainly was overpowering, wasn’t it? Almost made me want to do…utterly stupid things, actually. I can only imagine what it was like for you! What in blazes was it, anyway? And that rock…it was completely—I don’t know, nothing made sense back there, nothing!”

How thrilled Optimus was to hear Cade’s rapid babbling! He still did not dare move, though. He did not trust his own body, not yet. Thrice in a row he had lost himself in such a short span, which only meant one thing: the worst part of his Aching time was about to begin, if it had not already. And though some of its musky scent had been washed away, the memory of Cade squirming in its nest and moaning his name was reminder enough that the fleshling still hungered for him. The Ache would sooner melt him from the inside out before it let him forget _that_.

Suddenly, Cade began to come closer, outstretching an arm as if to place a comforting hand on him. A slight breeze carried its scent straight into his face—

“Wait!” Optimus barked, tensing up again as the remaining traces of Cade’s aroma tickled his nasal cavities. “Wait.”

“Oh.” The fleshling flinched, then retraced its steps backward, a bit crestfallen. “My apologies, Optimus.”

His spark twisted. He did not mean to snap at Cade like that, but the Ache could stir yet again if they were not careful. “Optimus…sorry.”

“It’s all right,” said Cade, though it still looked confused and somewhat frustrated.

It appeared to ponder as it dried itself, watching him slowly rise into a sit as it did so. Optimus brushed the leaves and twigs off his armor as well as he could, and the ones he missed Cade pointed out to him. Though he appreciated the assistance, he almost wished he could have a moment by himself, just long enough for him to make certain he felt better. Worse still, he was beginning to regret his promise to bring Cade along with him. What terrible timing this was! At this rate, he failed to see how either of them will last the day together without the Ache ruining everything…

“Ah, ha! Watch,” Cade piped up just then, pointing at itself. “Watch me.”

Optimus blinked down at Cade, surprised and puzzled. He recognized this gesture and tone of voice as the beginning of a language lesson. But why now, and here in the midst of all this destruction, as if nothing had happened?

“See Cade?”

“See…Cade,” Optimus responded with some reluctance. As shaken as he was, his curiosity must be sated.

“Excellent. Now, uh—let’s see, where should I begin—here! Watch this.” Using its fingertips, it tapped the palm of its opposing hand. “ _Touch_.”

Optimus copied the motion, still a bit confused. “Tuh...chuh,” he repeated awkwardly. “Touch?”

“Very good.”

In spite of himself, Optimus felt his spark leap with joy at Cade’s praise. But what was a _touch_? Remembering the noises his companion often made whenever it quizzed him, he recited: “ _Whatisthis_?”

There! There was that smile again. “I’m glad you asked.”

He kept his eyes glued on the fleshling as it picked its way through the debris to the nearest surviving pine. Poking the trunk repeatedly, it demonstrated: “Touch tree. I touch the tree. See?”

So it was an action, then. Optimus did see, but he decided to attempt an example of his own to make certain. He jabbed his finger into the dirt. “Touch…ground?”

“That’s right.”

“Hm! Touch…touch,” Optimus thought aloud as he searched his immediate surroundings. Finally his eyes settled on some tiny yellow specks beneath the sticks by his foot. Brushing the mess aside, he felt another pang of remorse as he studied the trampled flowers; Cade could have had all of these, had they not been ruined. Pointing, he searched his memory for the word Cade had used the morning they introduced each other. “Touch…uh…dandy-flower?”

It nodded again, mouth twitching and eyes sparkling with secret laughter as it came over to kneel and run its hand over the cleared patch of meadow. “Now for the tricky part. _Feel_ ,” it said. “Feel the grass.”

Optimus suppressed the naughty thought of touching Cade as yet another example (to make absolutely, positively certain he understood, of course!) and ran his palm across the grass, too. He wondered if this was one of those cases in which multiple words meant the same thing.

“Feel,” he repeated. “Feel…grass, touch grass. Yes?”

“They are related,” Cade chattered, tone hinting that he was close. “We are touching it, but we’re feeling it, too. Feel how _soft_ it is?” Again, its hand brushed across the grass in a petting motion, which made Optimus irrationally jealous of the ground. “Feels soft. See? Feels good.”

“S…sof-tuh?” Optimus stammered, forcing himself to focus even as he wondered when the fleshling will realize it was teasing him. “Soft? Whatisthis?”

“Ah, right. I’ll show you. Watch.” Cade stood and picked up a broken pine twig. With two fingers, it rubbed the needles that were still attached. “Soft. These feel soft.” Then, with a shake of its head, it tapped the stick itself. “Not soft. _Hard_.”

Cade started to alternate between the two words. Optimus was quick to fully grasp their meanings, and soon after he figured out that _feel_ had a deeper meaning than _touch_. However, he found himself so enchanted by the way the fleshling’s hands handled that stick that he was silent for several more sparkbeats than was necessary.

At last, with a quiet purr, he said: “Cade…feel…soft. Feel…good.”

“Huh?” To his amusement, the fleshling fumbled the twig with a startled squeak. Its face changed color as its voice tripped over itself. “M-me?” Chuckling, it lowered its gaze to the ground and scratched the back of its neck. “Er, y-yes, I…I guess I am soft compared to you, aren’t I?” Optimus’s spark skipped as Cade edged closer once more, but this time he did not intervene as it reached out to knock on the toe of his foot. “And you, Optimus, feel hard. See?”

“Mm.” Sighing, Optimus gave a solemn nod of agreement. “No soft, no good.”

This truth, however, did not seem to sit right with Cade at all. “What?” Brow furrowing, it shook its head in earnest. “Oh, no! No, Optimus, that isn’t what I meant!”

Alarmed to see his denmate so distressed, he lowered his hand so it could hold onto him.

“Hard can feel good, too,” Cade went on with a firm pat on his finger. “Optimus, you…you are good.” Its cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red. “Very, very good, actually…”

Optimus snorted, averting his gaze to shoot a pointed look at the destroyed trees. He? Good? Even after what he had just done? After all that he had done throughout his life? Optimus found such a claim difficult to believe, especially one coming from someone who had only known him for such a short time.

Yet…somehow, knowing that Cade _did_ believe in him made him feel nice and warm on the inside, and thankfully not in a needy Aching way, either.

“Optimus?”

He looked down again to see its head tilt to the side as it bumped a fist against its chest for emphasis.

“Do you…not feel good, in here?”

Optimus copied its gesture, his fist thumping his own chest with a dull clunk. He felt the lonely, rhythmic thrum inside him, every beat a desperate cry for attention from the one creature he had ever fallen for in his entire existence. A creature who was so small yet yearned and cared so much for him for no apparent reason, other than the possibility that it, too, had lived a rather lonely life up until now, and would likely rather die than lose him. Gazing into those emotional eyes, he found himself in a never-ending cycle of hurting so much he felt good, and feeling so good he hurt.

First he shook his head, then he nodded, and then he shook his head again, for he could not decide how well off he felt. Amongst his usual guilt and fear and bitterness and arousal dwelled a newcomer that had been developing into something more and more powerful by the day, until it had become as powerful as the Ache. It was a peculiar, fluttering feeling—nonsensical and erratic, yet steadfast. He did not know what to think of it. He was almost afraid of it.

Cade’s gaze did not waver. “I’m always willing to help you, Optimus, in any way I can.”

He perked up as a tingle of hope ran up his spine, even though he tried not to jump to conclusions, lest he get too excited. “Help…feel good?”

“Yes!” Cade’s eyes lit up, and at once Optimus knew that this was what the lesson had been leading up to all along. “Yes, that’s exactly it. I want to help you feel better on the inside, to calm you down when needed—well, at least, I want to try. And if you ever want to talk about it…I might not know how to respond properly sometimes, but I’m…I’m here to listen.”

Optimus gave a perplexed rumble as Cade captured his finger in a tight embrace—yet another example of strange fleshling behavior that he had learned to enjoy—but his spark throbbed nevertheless as he felt its soft cheek press against him. Until he met Cade, never in his life had he suspected fleshlings to be so fond of touching and squeezing. Such acts reminded him of his early hatchling days—before the dark energon, before everything—when he could still nuzzle cheeks and exchange sparksharings with others without fear of being driven away.

_Fleshlings truly are a lot like us_ , he reflected with a soft huff of amusement, but in the next beat his humor was replaced with a prickle of guilt. Many of his kind viewed fleshlings as inferior, savage beings, and at one time he too used to consider them as such. Tales shared about them were always about the wars they waged and the nests they destroyed—never about this gentler side of them that he saw here in Cade, wherein their true characteristics revealed themselves.

“Inconsiderate fool,” he muttered in his native tongue, shaking his head.

Cade blinked up at him.

“Not you,” Optimus said quickly. “ _I_ am. I chose you for a mate and befriended you, yet what do I do? I continue to name you as I would a lowly fur-creature, rather than the sentient individual that you are.”

“That’s the spirit,” Cade chattered with an encouraging smile, not at all paying attention as Optimus’s hands closed in. “Speak your mind as long as y— _whoop_!”

“From this moment forth,” Optimus proclaimed as he lifted Cade up above his head, “you are ‘he’ like the rest of us, until you teach me different.”

The fleshling wriggled in his secure grasp, yelping and laughing. “What on earth are you doing? Not so high!”

He lowered him so they could view each other face-to-eyes. “Sorry.”

Cade chuckled, sputtering a bit as Optimus’s breath collided with his face. As he craned his head back to shake his head-fur from his eyes, he uttered what sounded like a curse. “Look. Our morning has flown.”

Optimus followed his pointing finger to where the sun floated high above them. _Oh, pits_. Cade had done such an excellent job distracting him from his inner fire that he had forgotten about everything else, including time itself. If they were to reach their destination and return to the valley by night, they must not waste another sparkbeat.

“Energon tomorrow?” Cade asked, tracing the sun’s path over his head like he had done the evening before.

“No,” Optimus responded as he carefully climbed to his feet. “No wait. Walk.”

Originally he had planned to let Cade ride on his shoulder, but now that he had to set a brisker pace, he kept his denmate in his cupped hands to ensure his safety. After casting a final sorrowful glance behind him, he released a long huff and set off, leaving the trampled, littered meadow in the past. Though deep down he was still haunted by his behavior, he was thankful to Cade for handling the situation so well. Perhaps, for the time being, the worst was over. Perhaps now he could focus on guarding Cade and collecting energon. No more wondering or worrying about whatever was going on inside him—not until his mate was back in the den, safe and sound.

_To pit with the Ache_. He and Cade were going to make it. He was sure of it, now. They had each other.

But just to be on the safe side…

Looking down at Cade, he clicked at him to grab his attention, then started off another distracting language lesson by poking at his white covering with a gentle thumb.

“Whatisthis?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pfft, sure, sure  
> fifty bucks says ol' Oppy won't last 24 hours without busting another nut


	18. Acquainting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been kinda difficult this time around but i managed to roll out a fat one for my homies (aka you guys)

Needless to say, Cade had questions. Dozens of them.

But though the mystery plagued his brain, right that instant probing for answers did not seem as important as doing whatever he could to prevent such a tremendous meltdown from happening a second time. By now they were nearing the final turn in the canyon, yet not once did his heart stop hurting since they left the meadow. Seeing Optimus so lost and frightened had deeply disturbed him, and it would not surprise him if those enraged snarls haunted his dreams for nights to come. He never wanted to witness that again, and he most certainly did not want it to happen outside the safety of the valley.

_From now on, hands off any and all slime_ , he scolded himself, though he was still stumped about it, not to mention the broken outcrop by which he had found it. Did Optimus punch that into dust, too? Or did something else happen while Cade was asleep? A landslide? An earthquake…?

Ah, but there he went, letting his mind wander from their mission yet again.

Boosting himself up in Optimus’s cupped hands, he peered over their fingers to view the reflections in the sparkling river below. Optimus, meanwhile, had finally fallen silent; a few minutes had passed since they last pointed at something for Cade to translate. One query after another Optimus had thrown at him throughout their walk, and with matched enthusiasm he had deflected every one with an answer. Alas, there was not much left out here to learn aside from the stones and the sky and the river, and at the moment Cade himself apparently had nothing left that was worth discussing—other than his clothes, skin, hands, and hair, as well as every feature on his face, for goodness’ sake.

_At least Optimus did not go over every last inch of me_. His pulse quickened at the thought, and as he dropped back into a sit he was unable to ignore how warm their plating still felt beneath him, despite all the time they had spent cooling down. Before he could stop himself, his eyes lingered over one of those huge, curious fingers, and he imagined how it would feel if it explored him underneath his skirt right here and now, so light and gentle after showing such strength and force…

He groaned and wiped a hand down his face, feeling rather ashamed of himself. Should have known. Confound it, he should have known that his explicit dream had been a sign: His priorities truly were scrambled, tangled, jumbled—perhaps worse than the project he had been forced to abandon on the day he was chosen, if he had to be honest.

Was his body really so desperate to be touched? Even now, right after…whatever-it-was that he had just watched Optimus suffer through? _Some friend I’m turning out to be_!

“M…meh-tal?”

Startled, Cade rocked his head back to meet Optimus’s ponderous gaze, popping something in his neck in the process. “Huh?”

“Metal,” his companion repeated with a thoughtful stream of clicks. “Optimus-ground, yes?”

“Oh?” So much had happened that it took Cade a moment to puzzle out how Optimus made this connection. When he at last recalled their discussion outside the cave’s entrance, he was astounded that said discussion was in fact held only earlier that morning, and not, say, a couple moons ago. Unfortunately, along with the memory came another small twinge of nervousness as he was reminded of what was to come. “Oh, yes! Yes, that’s correct.”

Optimus gave a soft hum as they slowed to a halt and sank down to one knee. After tucking Cade into the same hiding place from the other day, they rested their arms across their leg as they took a moment to study him with those unwavering eyes of theirs. “Optimus see metal,” they murmured at last. “Cade…”

“I know. Stay silent and wait for you.” He leaned his back against the stone and crossed his arms, hoping his casual demeanor shrouded the fact that his anxiety was mounting once more. He could hardly believe they had come this far already. Was this really it? Was he ready to venture out onto the forbidden land?

“Cade,” Optimus tried again, and right then Cade realized that he had predicted wrong. “Feel…good?”

In other words: _Do you feel all right_?

Taking a deep breath, he managed to work up a grin and nodded. “So long as you do, Optimus.”

Satisfied with his response for the time being, they returned the nod. Then, after a few more heartbeats of lingering eye contact, they stood and went off to scout ahead. Their strides were purposeful and surefooted, without an ounce of apparent hesitation or fear—an Optimus that was so very different from the Optimus that Cade had to calm down what felt like a short while ago.

He felt better seeing them like this, but the feeling did not last long. Once Optimus had disappeared from view, he sat and picked at the dirt that had collected in his cuticles. His mind searched all over the place for distractions, up and down and beyond and back, yet he was painfully aware that the only sounds he could hear were his fingernails clicking together and the wind whistling through the gorge.

But as before, Optimus eventually returned, and all tension left Cade’s body in a huge sigh. This time he restrained himself and let his companion come to him before he budged from his assigned spot. Warbling softly as they scooped him up, Optimus paused to gaze at him again, as though the two had been apart for ages rather than mere minutes.

“Walk metal?” they asked.

“Let’s go,” he agreed.

Optimus turned and took one step, then stopped, face contorting into a troubled frown. “Hm.”

“What is it?”

“Optimus…walk metal, Cade…uh.” They raised their eyes upward, as if hoping to find the missing word somewhere up in the sky. “Cade…rrrgh. Watch, watch. See.”

“Wh,” Cade started to ask, but at that moment he underwent a bit of jostling as Optimus juggled him into one palm so that their other hand was free to gesticulate. Clutching their finger and thumb for security’s sake, he blinked up at Optimus again in time to watch them cover their face with their hand.

“See?” Optimus peeked through their fingers. “What is this?”

As usual, the question was quick and fluid as though spoken as one word. Though he found the pronunciation charming, Cade took a mental note to fix it at a later date as he signaled his understanding with a rapid nod.

“ _Hide_!” He took off his blanket-cloak and draped it over his head, obscuring his vision. “You want me to hide? Like this?”

He listened as Optimus tested the word out loud. “Hide, yes. Cade hide…Optimus-hand? No, no…”

Now it was Cade’s turn to peek. From beneath the shade his raised arms made of his blanket, he looked on as Optimus seemed to have a small argument with themself, hesitating at least twice before finally closing their eyes in concentration with a grumbling huff. Before he could form a question of any sort, there came a hiss and a clunk, and suddenly he was plucked up by the back of his dress. He gasped as his blanket flopped over his head again. His arms flailed around for something to grab, but he found nothing but air until he was released inside what felt like a small, metal tomb.

“Wh-what,” he managed to yelp at last, “is all this?”

“Hide,” came Optimus’s voice from everywhere. It vibrated all around him, causing the smooth walls that surrounded him to tremble. “Cade see?”

“Not really,” Cade muttered, spluttering as he swept the blanket off his head. Disoriented and a little frightened, he twisted around in his dark, bizarre prison, pulse racing until he realized that daylight was still filtering through the way he came in. Staggering a bit as he raised himself to the tips of his toes, he thrust his head out the hole to discover that, indeed, he was precisely where he had a feeling he was: _inside_ Optimus.

More specifically, he was inside their, um…their cleavage, from the looks of things.

“My gods.” Cade shook his head in disbelief, his face aflame as a feeble prayer rushed past his lips. “Oh my good gods, please help me.” Hanging onto the rim, he turned around as best as he could and craned his neck to find Optimus’s face right above him, tilting toward him as they peered down at him with an amused twinkle in their eyes. “Isn’t this a b-bit…erm…invasive for you, Optimus?

But Optimus, though somewhat apprehensive about the idea as a whole, seemed unfazed by Cade’s current location in particular. With a firm rumble, they reached up and carefully nudged him back inside. “Sh, sh. Cade sit. Hide.”

He sat, still so bewildered that he did not even protest when he was briefly plunged into darkness with a hiss and slide of shifting plating. A few more discombobulating noises later, some light reappeared, this time in the form of a few narrow, horizontal slits, parallel to one another and level to his head. Scooting closer on his knees, he squinted through, relieved to find that not only could he see his way out—he could feel a cool breeze seeping its way in. _At least I won’t suffocate_!

“Cade see?” Optimus asked again.

“Yes,” Cade called out, unsure how well they could hear him. “This is…this isn’t too terrible, actually. I just didn’t expect to be, um…pocketed, is all.” _Because another pocket is all this is_ , he realized. Optimus was keeping him safely hidden away, like the knife they had sheathed somewhere in their thigh.

As Optimus began to move on, Cade teetered backwards onto his rear end, for once without landing hard enough to knock the breath from his lungs. Readjusting himself till he was comfortable, he explored the walls with his hands, soon forming a picture in his mind of a round, almost egg-shaped chamber—one that was perfectly human-sized, with room to spare. Muffled, rhythmic sounds ticked and hummed all around him in perfect harmony. The noise was not at all drowned out by the mighty thrum of the titan’s heart, which resided somewhere beyond his reach. Yet its nearness, as well as Optimus’s body warmth, soothed his nerves. Cade expelled a contented sigh as he listened, letting his head rest against the chamber wall as he continued to feel the surrounding walls with his fingertips, amazed that the metal in here was somehow even smoother than the exterior armor.

Just then everything jolted. Cade jumped, clawing and flailing in a blind panic as he struggled to remain upright. Optimus themself had stopped yet again, further shaking the quaking chamber with a groan.

“Hnrrgh…Cade…no…touch…!”

“P-pardon?” Was it just him, or had the chamber grown a lot warmer? And was Optimus’s heart thumping a bit faster, as well?

“No touch,” Optimus repeated, their voice sounding strained. “Please.”

_Oh_.

“I’m…tickling you? Again?” So Optimus could feel him moving around within their chest, stroking their inner walls like one would stroke their lover. Hot red embarrassment flooded his face once more. Without thinking, he reached to pat the chamber wall as a silent apology, but then stopped himself in the nick of time. “Oops. Heh, sorry! I didn’t realize this part of you is so sensitive.”

Optimus acknowledged him with a simple grunt, but it was enough for Cade to know that all was forgiven.

Before long they were continuing on, hopefully without any further interruptions. This time Cade remained alert, carefully keeping his hands in his lap and fidgeting as little as possible as he leaned forward to put his face to the vent. Optimus’s heart had returned to its regular pace, but the chamber’s warmth never eased off. Every once in a while, parts of the walls would give a slight twitch, sometimes right underneath Cade even though he could have sworn he had not moved. One thing was for certain: As comfortable as it was in here, it was easy to understand why Optimus had yet to tote him around this way.

Brilliant and blinding as ever, the metal plain soon sprawled before them. Though Cade had to blink against the light, he was very much aware that they were entering the forbidden land without pause, without ceremony. One moment he could make out the remnants of the canyon walls on either side, and in the next there was not a trace of natural rock in sight. They were out in the open, now. Anyone, any _thing_ could be watching, from any direction…

He knew he was protected, hidden, safe—but the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, regardless. Instinctively he drew up his legs and hugged them close to his body as his eyes darted to and fro over the distant silver hills for signs of movement, only to find that they appeared as empty as they had the last time he saw them. He let out a shaky breath, and as if they sensed his unease, Optimus gave a soft click and placed their hand over their chest. Feeling a little less small, Cade smiled.

To his relief, Optimus did not venture out into the vast plain. Instead, they followed the river as it veered left, keeping themselves between it and the mountains. Cade’s heart gave an excited leap as the change in direction allowed him to view new landmarks he had not been able to see from the end of the pass. For the moment, his fear was forgotten and replaced with utter astonishment.

Winding away into the distance as it was known to do, the river broadened to twice its normal width, the reflections in the water glistening and dancing amongst the metallic dips and knolls. On the horizon where it vanished, the hills were more pointed, and most were not pointing straight up like the peaks Cade was used to; instead, they were bent into odd shapes, and some even appeared to curve into one another like a tangle of hooks. And as if those were not bizarre enough, just beyond them loomed… _something_ of impossible size. From here it looked like a giant mound, its coloration darker than that of the metal that covered the land, yet no less lustrous. There appeared to be something more to it, something that really tugged at his curiosity…but the jagged hills prevented him from spotting any details, and Optimus was not going over there, anyway.

So focused was he on that mysterious shape that when he looked in the direction they were headed, he could not believe that he did not notice _these_ shapes towering in front of them until now. His jaw dropped as he beheld what he could only describe as a crashing wave, frozen in an eternal collision with the mountains. Great, gleaming arcs loomed high overhead as they passed through it, giving Cade the sensation that he and Optimus were about to be crushed flat at any given moment, no matter how solid and sturdy the formations appeared.

All of this he was able to glimpse just from within Optimus’s armor. To think that there was more—so, so much more—that he still had not seen was mindboggling to him. He had always believed that the land outside the valley was big, and what he saw here was proof of that, but…just how big was big, exactly? How much farther did the river go before it spilled into the sea, if there even was a sea anymore? Were he and his former villagemates truly the last humans in this entire region? In all the _world_?

Another change in direction shook him from these perturbing thoughts. He barely had time to brace himself before Optimus went right up to one of the towering formations and started climbing. Again, an unnecessary instinct kicked in, this one being the need to hang onto something to prevent himself from falling even though he was incapable of doing so. In the end he grasped fistfuls of his dress, but by that time Optimus had already reached their destination. Before Cade could discern what it was they had climbed up to, everything grew dark.

For a while he saw nothing, could only listen to Optimus grunting and grumbling as they squeezed through what sounded like a rather narrow tunnel. He winced and covered his ears as high-pitched screeches and scrapes came from all around. At one point he feared that Optimus had gotten themself stuck, but with one strong tug that knocked Cade over sideways, they were free, and the scraping came to an end at last. After that he felt them walking down, down, downward—perhaps in a spiral, though it was hard to be sure—and before long his eyes began to pick up a soft, pink light.

“I see it!” Cade exclaimed, then bit his lip. “Sorry,” he added, this time in a whisper.

But apparently it was safe to speak now, for Optimus gave their chest a tap and rumbled, “Cade see energon?”

“Yes. Well, I see its light, anyway.” He risked a quick knock against the chamber wall. “May I come out?”

The plating slid open before he even finished his sentence. A blast of cool air flooded the chamber, forcing him to shrink back into a huddle for a moment. Once he was a bit more accustomed to the change in temperature, he clambered out onto the titan’s open palm, again wishing for a nice warm pair of boots as he wrapped his blanket around his body. But within seconds the wish was forgotten once he noticed that there was something peculiar in the air—not a smell, but an energetic sensation that caused his scalp to tingle and his hair to rise.

It was like…like magic, almost.

He turned around to view the vast cavern which they had entered, and at last he saw the energon.

It was everywhere, from the floor below to the ceiling above. Every square inch of the cave’s metal surfaces was studded with various shades of brilliant, bright pink, and each crystal was a different size and shape. The largest was a great starburst of shards that dominated the far corner on the other side, so large it dwarfed even Optimus.

Cade thought he could never drag his gaze away from it. But as they carefully navigated their way down the ledges to reach the bottom, he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. He glanced toward it at first, figuring it was only a trick of the light. And then he looked a second time, eyes popping wide to confirm that…yes, indeed, those were giant, armored bugs skittering up and down the wall.

“Uh,” he began, frantically tapping Optimus’s hand for attention.

But Optimus simply looked at the swarm of creatures and hummed, surprisingly unbothered.

Cade rubbed his eyes and gawked at the bugs again, just to be sure he and Optimus were seeing the same thing. The smallest ones were about the size of goats, at least, even though their domed backs and tiny heads reminded him of beetles. In Cade’s opinion, no beetle—metal or not—should be that size, ever!

As unnerving as they were to look at, however, he could not suppress his fascination the longer he and Optimus stood there watching them. Some of them were clinging to the crystals, but most were meandering about and greeting one another with feelers so thin and numerous that he first thought they had hair for mouths. Each had many, beady eyes that glowed like those of Optimus, with colors that ranged from blue to red to green. From the higher ledges, a few sets of those eyes winked down at the intruders with curiosity, the feelers of their owners lifting and waving as though trying to catch their scent.

“They’re a peaceful lot, aren’t they?” Cade observed with a chuckle. “That’s comforting to know.”

He held on as Optimus lowered him to the ground. After living in a natural cave for so many days, setting foot on a floor that was not made of stone was a rather confusing experience for his mind and his toes. It was far too smooth, too perfect, too _alive_. Quite some time will have to pass before he could ever get used to it.

Shivering, he craned his head back and spun in a slow circle to admire the tall cavern’s splendor from a more dramatic angle. A kaleidoscope of pink lights twinkled overhead like stars. It took some willpower to resist the urge to spin faster and faster, like a child too young to care who was watching. “Optimus, I must say…this place is absolutely beautiful.”

An amused rumble brought his gaze back to his companion.

“What?” he murmured, breathless at the sight of this godlike creature bathed in such romantic lighting.

Optimus upturned the corners of their mouth—not a smirk, for once, but an actual smile. With their fingers, they pretended to spike up a mane they did not have. “Hair.”

Cade felt his static-laced locks and laughed. “Oh, no! I didn’t realize it’s bushed out _that_ much!”

They both snorted as he tried to flatten it down in vain.

“I guess it’ll have to stay like this till we leave,” Cade snickered. “Let’s hope it goes back to normal then.”

He trailed behind as Optimus pivoted and headed to the giant cluster of energon. But right when he started to jog to keep up, he halted with a small gasp of surprise as a slight ache throbbed in his skull. Frowning, he touched his forehead as he watched Optimus’s retreating form. He yearned to follow, but something inside him was warning him against it. The air around him felt thick and absolutely brimming with energy, almost as though an invisible barrier was lying in wait ahead. His gaze traveled to the cluster, and at last it dawned upon him that he was experiencing an infamous effect that he had forgotten, for he never thought it would happen to him. Did he not overhear a story, once—something about some miners getting trapped with blue energon for so long that they had become frothing mad by the time they were rescued?

“Oof,” he shuddered, backing away. Almost at once, the pressure around his head vanished. _Good_. This energon may not be the type his people were familiar with, but he did not want to take chances.

Optimus looked over their shoulder, eyes narrowing with concern.

“Go on ahead. I’ll wait over here,” Cade said as he went back and took a seat on a ledge. “I don’t think I should approach that. It’s too much.”

They tilted their head as he rubbed his head again for emphasis, but though they were a bit puzzled, they did not object. Soon Optimus was closing the distance between themself and the massive cluster, bounding and swinging themself up onto one of the shards with little apparent effort. Cade’s breath caught in his throat as he paid special attention to every bunch and flex of their shapely form. Optimus was but a dark silhouette, their curves standing out quite nicely against the wall of light as they crept on all fours to the shard’s end.

Latching their limbs around the crystal, they let themself slide off topside so they could hang from it upside down, not unlike some of the beetle-creatures Cade had spotted. From the tip they began to feed, metal and mineral shrieking together as Optimus filed it down a bit with their teeth. It was not long before they changed tactic—as though satisfied with the samples, they wrenched off an enormous piece with their strong jaws. Then, to Cade’s alarm, they cocked their head back and proceeded to swallow it whole.

“That’s…different,” he commentated under his breath, beyond shocked that Optimus did not choke on it. Rather, it slid harmlessly down their throat in one big gulp, and to his further disbelief, they snapped off another huge chunk and repeated the process without pause. How bizarre! Optimus had always chewed their food until now. Perhaps they were far hungrier than Cade thought? If so, they were terribly good at hiding it.

Somehow, through all his confusion and fascination, he detected a faint _tink-tink-tink_ behind him. He swiveled around and looked up the wall just in time to catch a glimpse of feelers retreating back into a hole that he had not noticed before. Upon instinct he froze in silent panic. One of those creatures was right there within pouncing range, and he had no idea how long it had been there, or what it had been planning to do…

_But I’m not in danger, am I_? He shook his head, a little annoyed at himself. Optimus would not have left him here unguarded if the cave’s inhabitants posed a threat to him.

“Are you…still in there, little fellow?” He smirked a bit as he realized he just called a goat-sized beetle-thing _little_. “You can come out. I won’t hurt you.”

He did not think talking to it would lure it back, and for a while he thought he was right. But soon he heard its feet tick-ticking back up the tunnel, closer and closer, till at last its feelers came poking out again, followed by a pair of stalks that peeked down at him with ruby-red eyes.

Cade offered a smile, hoping he looked nonthreatening. “Hullo there. Oh, look at you! You’re—”

With a low-pitched chitter, the creature squeezed its massive bulk out of the hole and slowly stepped down to greet him.

“Y-you’re one of the bigger ones!” Cade had to cough to clear the squeak from his voice as he scooted back to give the creature more space. A _lot_ more space. “That’s—I mean, that’s wonderful!”

Eight more eyes adorned the top of its head like a circlet, and none of them seemed to blink at the same time as the others. Almost hidden underneath its moustache of feelers were short, blunt pincers that clicked together as the creature warbled and chattered in a way that was different from Optimus—more primal, even. The size of its body compared to its head was borderline ridiculous from Cade’s point of view, but Cade did not dare laugh, for the whole thing was almost the size of his one-room cottage.

Even after bending all twelve of its thin, knobby knees, it still seemed to tower over him by miles. Despite this, Cade kept his nerve and extended his hand up to the creature so it could investigate him with its feelers. The shiny, thread-like protrusions reached to meet him halfway, tickling his skin as they poked at his palm and brushed his forearm. Cade held himself still as long as he could stand, but once one of the feelers reached his inner elbow, the sensation was just too much. He barked out a laugh and yanked his arm back.

The creature let out a surprised squawk and stumbled back, nearly tripping over its own dozen legs. In a flurry of shifting armor and flailing limbs, it then curled itself into a round ball.

“What!” Climbing to his feet, Cade approached it with timid steps, hardly believing what he had just witnessed. He walked around it to locate an opening, a crease, anything, only to be further stunned upon discovering that there was not one. The creature had indeed turned itself inside out into a perfect sphere. “How remarkable. You are your own pocket!”

The ball trembled as he placed a hand upon its warm surface, but other than that it did not respond.

“I suppose you’ve never encountered a human before, have you? You don’t seem to know what to make of me.”

He gave its armor a gentle scratch and smiled as he heard the creature’s muffled chitter. The ball vibrated, then relaxed. Finally he had to step back again as it unfurled and stood up in a smooth motion. After regarding him warily for a couple heartbeats, it lowered its head closer to him, allowing him to pet it between the eye-stalks. One by one, its eyes winked shut, and he felt it vibrate once more as its mandibles clacked with content.

“Ah, so you like this, too,” Cade said. “Optimus is the same way.”

He looked over his shoulder, his grin broadening as he noticed Optimus had stopped eating to watch him upside down, their dark eyes first wide with bafflement, then flaring with jealousy.

“Don’t worry! I haven’t forgotten you.”

Optimus answered him with a “humph” before reluctantly continuing with their meal.

“Well, I guess I should stop before I get into more trouble,” Cade jested, turning back to the giant bug. “It was a pleasure meeting y—oh, no!”

Scuttling down the wall were three more curious creatures. Thankfully they were smaller than the one before Cade, but they were all heading right for him. Feelers waving, pincers clicking, feet ticking in excitement, they practically shoved each other out of the way to be the first to reach the bottom.

He squeezed his eyes shut, half-expecting the stampede to run right over him. But once they had him surrounded, they came ticking to a stop just in time, and in the next instant he felt their feelers tickling his legs and their pincers tugging at his blanket and skirt. Overwhelmed by this sudden overstimulation, he yelped and tried to hop away, but they persisted by butting their heads into him, clearly begging to be petted.

“All right, all right! Ha, ha—b-back off! One at a time!”

Alas, it was impossible to scratch this many heads at once, and the constant tickling only made the task more difficult. Worse still, some more creatures were making their way down the walls, and he had a sneaking suspicion that they were not going to wait their turn.

_Any more and I’m bound to be crushed_ , he realized with a small pang of fear.

But right then, an angry growl sent everyone scattering.

Cade himself was so startled he almost ran as well, but as soon as a protective hand descended from nowhere to shield him, he heaved a sigh of relief and gave Optimus’s finger a hug of gratitude. From behind the barrier he watched as the creatures either balled up or scuttled back up the walls. The tinny squeals of those who fled rang throughout the cavern as they darted into their respective hiding places and out of sight. With a light swat Optimus sent the remaining spheres rolling across the floor. At the sound of their durable bodies bouncing harmlessly against the opposite cave wall, the titan gave a sharp huff of satisfaction.

“That…that last part was unnecessary, but thank you,” Cade said, turning to look up at his rescuer. “I suppose I was getting a little too friendly with the locals.”

Optimus’s eyes were apologetic as they roved over him, as though checking for blood and broken bones.

Snorting, he took up a playful fighting stance to ease his friend’s concern. “Oh, I doubt they could hurt me if they wanted to!”

Relaxing at last, Optimus shook their head at him with another huff, but Cade did not miss the hint of amusement dancing in their eyes as he threw fake punches at the air between the two of them. Their hand returned to encircle him and lift him up to their face, bringing Cade’s laughter to a halt as they fixated him with a gaze that was soft and tender. His heart skipped. His breath stalled. His fingers squeezed their thumb. Could this be the moment he had been praying for…?

“Sun…hide,” Optimus said finally. “Cade-food, cave, sleep. Yes? Hungry?”

Cade swallowed his disappointment and bobbed his head. “Now that you mention it, I am starving,” he admitted. “I take it you’re ready to—?” Glancing around, he at last noticed that Optimus was not carrying any crystals to take home. “Where is your energon?”

Optimus held him out a bit so he could see them patting their belly. Cade blinked down at it, confused. Was it just him, or was their midsection somewhat…bigger, now? He looked back at them questioningly, but he could not bring himself to speak. It would be rude to ask, would it not?

Seeming to understand, Optimus gave his silent question a silent answer. Their pointing finger traveled from their midsection up to their mouth, and said mouth opened with a cough.

“You what!” Cade was utterly appalled. Try as he might, he could not picture this beautiful, graceful creature doing _that_. “But that’s so—! Oh, Optimus, _why_? You’ve pockets! There’s no need to—ugh!” He grabbed fistfuls of his hair, surely mussing it further than it had already become. “All right, fine. Fine! You know what? I’ve seen worse. Just…please, don’t pour it back out in front of me.”

Optimus simply tilted their head, eyes blinking in bemusement at his reaction.

“Anyway,” Cade sighed once he had recovered, “mishaps and… _that_ aside, this has been an incredible outing, Optimus. I really appreciate it.”

He was then transported to the chamber within Optimus’s chest, and their journey back to the valley began. Inching forward, Cade managed to catch a final glimpse of the beetles peering out at them from their holes, feelers waving as though bidding them farewell. Now that he was safe and sound, he could not help but laugh all over again as Optimus began ascending to the exit; he still could not believe he had a close encounter and lived to remember it. First Optimus, and now giant bugs, all within the same fortnight—for once, an accomplishment to be proud of! At this rate, perhaps there will be nothing left to fear in the outside world by the spring’s end. Just thinking about the possibility of Optimus taking him to more otherworldly places filled him with a bold sense of thrill and adventure unlike any he had ever experienced.

Indeed, the sun had started to sink toward the tangle of hooked peaks, casting immense shadows and warm colors all across the metallic landscape. Yet even now the reflections tried to blind him, forcing him to flinch away from the vent as Optimus began to climb down the enormous arc of silver.

And because of his blasted human eyes, he was unable to see whatever made Optimus stiffen mid-descent, growling in a low, dangerous tone that he had not heard before.

“Now what?” he whispered, squinting through the slits as long as he could stand. Alas, before his eyes could adjust, Optimus blocked his view with their arm. A louder growl rattled the chamber, shattering the courage he had only recently found within himself. Despite his panic, he knocked on the vent, silently willing Optimus to let him see. He _had_ to see!

Optimus continued to snarl and hiss, so he was uncertain whether or not they ever paid attention to him. Nevertheless, their arm did move a few hairs downward.

Those few hairs were enough.

Cade saw it. He could not process it for several heartbeats, but he did see it: a bipedal figure far out on the distant knolls in the southwest, just standing there and watching them. Though it was but a small smudge amongst this confusing clash of light and shadow, Cade took one good look at its spiky, broad shoulders and knew that it was an absolute giant. Beyond goat-sized. Beyond cottage-sized. Quite possibly even beyond Optimus-sized, and that realization alone was enough to send a chilling jolt down his spine.

An age of suspense passed.

Then, Cade felt Optimus begin to relax, even before the figure finally decided to move. As though trapped in slow motion, it turned around with an air of apathy and lumbered out of sight. Judging by its gait alone, Cade estimated that “beyond Optimus-sized” was not at all far-fetched.

_And to think we all thought Optimus was among the largest_!

He must have been shaking like a leaf, for once their growls died down, Optimus opened up the chamber to reach a comforting finger inside. Cade welcomed the contact with a pat before using the finger for support as he stood up to better view Optimus’s face. His companion soothed him with gentle coos, even as their eyes continued to flash with…not ferocity, to his surprise, but annoyance.

Now a bit more curious than afraid, Cade shaded his eyes as he peered out in the direction the figure had vanished, then twisted back around to study Optimus.

“Uh,” he asked at last, cocking a thumb over his shoulder, “d-do you two…know each other, or…?”

Rolling their eyes with an aggravated sigh that surely blasted the static from his hair, Optimus freed their finger to wave a dismissive hand, spitting out a couple noises in their language in the process.

To Cade, the noises sounded somewhat like this: “Grim…lock.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if Bay can insert weird funky icky alien stuff into his TF fanfics then so can i


	19. Seething

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still alive

“Still on edge, I see.”

It took the sound of his mate’s voice to pull Optimus from his staredown with the opposing mountain peaks. Not expecting the fleshling to awaken, he blinked in confusion as he twisted around to spot Cade emerging from the den, wrapped up against the cool of midnight. His spark thumped hard at the sight of him, for he could still feel him inside his chest, so snug and close to his very being. Suddenly feeling unprepared and self-aware of his built-up tension, Optimus rolled his shoulders and forced his armor to lie flat as Cade came over to stand parallel to his foot.

Cade gestured at the drop-off in front of them and made a soft, amused noise. “Quite literally on an edge, too, aren’t you?”

As Optimus continued to look down at him in mild disbelief, he noticed that his head-fur—or _hair_ , as it was called—was mussed and tangled with pine needles. It seemed as though Cade had been spending much of the night rolling around in his nest. “No…sleep?”

“Mm, I might have slept for a little while…I don’t know. My mind started to run, and it hasn’t stopped. Happens sometimes.”

Optimus took that as a _No_.

“There is simply too much to process, Optimus,” Cade went on with a shake of his head. Strangely, while it was obvious that he was tired, his eyes sparkled with enchantment as they had done inside the energon cave. “Part of me is afraid to go to sleep, to be honest. I would hate to forget a single detail…”

He fell silent then, taking the opportunity to admire the dark valley below as it slumbered beneath the blanket of stars. Somehow, his face still appeared radiant beneath the dwindling light of the waning moon. Stooping so he could see him better, Optimus studied his visage closely for lingering signs of distress, but he sensed nothing worse than the anxiousness that was present at the time Cade had bedded down for the night. All the recent excitement apparently had prevented his denmate from staying asleep. Perhaps it would have helped if he had sat beside Cade’s nest for a while longer. Alas, his instinct to keep watch for intruders had grown too strong to resist; it had raked at him again and again ever since the moment Grimlock actually _turned his back on him_.

His fists clenched.

Until that day, he had not sighted any of Grimlock’s kin in many, many moons. He often used to stumble across them whenever he ventured out of the valley to hunt for scrap in the claw-hills. Every time, they always seemed to assume he had walked all that way just to challenge them, and every time, they charged him. Though such encounters seldom ended without injuries on both sides, they once brought the rare dose of thrill into his life of solitude, especially during those first hard seasons. Eager as he had been to unleash his never-ending cycles of pent-up rage, he had found that the sheer size and strength of those giants made them a fair match; not even _he_ could topple them, let alone mutilate them with his bare hands.

As he simmered down over time, however, dealing with them became more and more tiresome. Grimlock and his followers were bold and competitive, with tempers that rivaled his own. On top of that, they had existed for so long that their way of communicating with one another was often beyond his comprehension—less nonsensical than shard-drainers in particular, yet far more ancient than anything else that lurked beyond these mountains. Thus, negotiating with them was a feat that was nigh impossible, and so Optimus had eventually stopped going to the claw-hills altogether. At this point, no answer, no clue, no missing piece was worth the pointless violence—he had given up his search long ago. He was content to avoid their stomping grounds, so long as they stayed away from his.

Huh! A lot of good that had done. Now Grimlock himself suddenly had the nerve to come this close to _his_ territory from out of the blue, only to walk away from a good opportunity to fight.

Suspicious.

Concerning.

_Alarming_ , even, now that Optimus had someone to guard with his life.

With his head filled with questions and his body heavy with excess energon, Optimus had hurried Cade back upriver as fast as he had dared. He tried his best to conceal his discomfort, but he had checked over his shoulder several times during the journey, and he knew better than to hope Cade had not noticed. He never used to view Grimlock as the clever, ambushing type, but his peculiar behavior had ignited an excruciating ball of paranoia within Optimus’s belly that only worsened with every step he had taken.

That paranoia—combined with the outrage boiling in his blood and the Ache hammering at him to _protect mate protect mate protect mate_ —led up to what must have been his easiest regurgitation process yet. Unusually squeamish, Cade had turned pale and fled to the back of the den right before it happened, but once it was over the fleshling had returned appearing thrice as relieved as Optimus felt. His first chamber had smoothed down the energon’s edges a little too well, but after a surprise like Grimlock, it was to be expected.

Oh, but how it irked him that his day out with Cade had to come to such an abrupt end! Another wave of frustration crashed over Optimus as he imagined all the possible pleasant ways their evening could have gone. Bristling, he glared in the general direction of the claw-hills once more, the corner of his frown twitching as he fought to contain his growls.

“You didn’t give me a chance to scratch your back this time.” Cade sounded concerned. “Will it help if I do it now?”

_Help_.

Relaxing his sneer, Optimus looked down to consider those eyes of his, and snorted. “Is that why you couldn’t sleep?” After carefully sitting down next to Cade, he extended his hand to give him a light back rub as he spoke aloud his observations in his own tongue. “You’re not worried about him, are you? You’re worried about me. I should have known.”

Cade, meanwhile, was arching his back into his touch, surprised yet obviously enjoying the sensation. “Ooh…I said ‘your back’, not—hm, never mind…”

Vivid flashbacks to other instances that involved Cade squirming and moaning ran through Optimus’s mind, and the Ache flared. His lower region grew warm, his sparkbeat quickened, and soon his armor felt a little tighter. Reluctantly he stopped petting Cade’s back, but before he withdrew his finger, he made sure to give that messy hair a playful sweep. Cade snickered, ducking and stumbling backward in his attempt to evade him.

“I know! Looks terrible, doesn’t it?”

Optimus purred, then forced himself to put on a serious face. The longer he gazed down at his denmate, the more fondness poured in to drown his foul mood. Cade only became more precious to him by the day, and thus, his safety was vital. Now was as good a time as any to remind him that. Though Optimus did not know enough fleshling words to fully express his fears, he figured his tone ought to be enough for Cade to piece together his warning.

“Not everything outside the valley is as passive as a shard-drainer,” he rumbled at last. “Danger can reveal itself when you least expect it, and it can come in any shape or form. If we are to continue roaming the land together, you must learn to be ready for anything—even when you are hidden. Otherwise you will meet your end.”

This was met with a blank stare.

Sighing, Optimus switched back to fleshling-tongue. “Walk metal…uh…”

Cade perked up. “Tomorrow?”

“No, no. Tomorrow- _tomorrow_ -tomorrow—” Optimus bounced his finger along an imaginary line that was supposed to represent time. “Tomorrow, tomorrow…tomorrow…?”

“Oh. You mean a…a different tomorrow? _Again_?”

He was not entirely sure what that word meant, but what the pit. “Again walk metal, Cade watch, hide.”

It was quite the sloppy translation, but thankfully it was enough to get the point across.

Cade drew in a deep breath. “And run, I assume…if it ever comes to that. Yes, I think I understand what you’re trying to tell me.” His brow furrowed. “But…what about the friendly ones?”

“Hm?”

“Like those…those beetles,” Cade chattered, putting a hand to his face and wiggling his fingers. “The good ones. Yes? Good?”

Optimus suppressed a bark of amusement once he realized that Cade was pretending to be a shard-drainer. Simultaneously, his armor prickled with jealousy and disdain. He still could not believe those flighty crawlers took to Cade so quickly, even though he himself had done the same. In fact, they were much too fond of him for his liking. Had he not intervened, it was probable that the growing swarm eventually would have trapped Cade inside a great, smothering ball of affection.

He shuddered at the mere thought.

Fortunately for the shard-drainers, his mate seemed to adore them even after the incident, and that alone was what stopped his impulse to smash them all flat. If they ever pulled that stunt again, though, he will…he might…oh!

_Well, it simply better not happen again_.

“Ye-e-es,” he agreed begrudgingly. “Good.”

“There must be other good ones out there,” Cade chattered on, eyes bright with building excitement. He held up a hand and flexed his fingers, scratching the air. “And maybe—! What if—?”

Oh?

Oh, no!

“No,” Optimus spluttered, eyes popping wide, “absolutely _not_!” With a stern growl he struck the ground between them with his fist, though the action was difficult to pull off as he was humored at the outrageous imagery that Cade’s suggestion produced. “You can _not_ go frolicking about petting any old thing you come across! Those you met just happened to be the one exception—but everyone else? They would sooner kill you than let you even _think_ about touching them…!”

“All right, all right, calm down!” In the midst of his rant, he noticed that Cade was already laughing and raising his arms up in surrender. “I’m only jesting.”

“Stop making those happy noises,” Optimus snapped with a huff. “This is important.” But he felt a purr coming on anyway as he watched Cade struggle to rein in his amusement. It was no use. His denmate’s laugh was simply too contagious.

In the end, the issue was dropped for the time being. Cade lingered, content to share another long, quiet moment with him as they watched the night sky together. It was he who eventually broke the silence.

“Optimus?”

“Yes?”

Cade did not reply for a couple sparkbeats. Optimus peered down at him curiously to find that he was stroking his chin in deep thought. At his click of encouragement, his mate met his gaze and smiled. Pointing at himself, he finally spoke. “ _Human_.”

Optimus blinked, then smirked. “Are you trying to trick me?” Bending his finger, he nudged Cade in the belly with his knuckle. “No, _Cade_.”

Chuckling, Cade shoved him back. “No—I mean, yes, you’re right, my name is Cade. But I’m also a human. That’s what I am. A human.”

From the sincerity in his voice, it seemed that Cade was not tricking him after all. Optimus cocked his head, wondering where this second name came from. “Hhh…hyoo…man…?”

“That’s right. Here, wait just a moment. Let me show you.”

Before Optimus could utter a sound, Cade sprang to his feet and dashed back into the den. Looking over his shoulder, he saw him rooting around for something in the darkness, right next to the shallow pit where he built his neat little fire every evening. Soon he came running back outside with a pebble clutched in his fist.

“Watch.” Kneeling beside him, Cade started to scratch the ground with the pebble, then stopped and looked up at him. “Do you mind if I…?”

Optimus gave an enthusiastic nod, realizing now that Cade was about to make one of those complex markings of his. “Optimus watch.”

“All right.”

Cade continued to scratch rough lines into the stone. Before Optimus’s eyes, the lines formed shapes. Rather simple shapes, actually, compared to the ones from before. Resituating himself till he was practically lounging on his side, he studied them as closely as he dared, careful not to butt Cade aside with his cheek. A visible shiver seized Cade’s body as his breath tickled him, causing a tingle of sinful delight to dance within Optimus. But he managed to shake himself out of it and raise his head back up a bit to give his denmate more space.

Forcing himself to concentrate, he soon discovered that the shapes were not only simple, but recognizable. Three large figures and three small ones, all in a row, with the centermost large and small figures standing close to each other. Long lines with circles on the top ends, each standing on two short lines and waving two more short lines in the air. Optimus felt the corners of his mouth lift as Cade gave the centermost large figure a pair of long growths on its circle.

“Gods, this is dreadful,” Cade muttered, then cleared his throat as he pointed at the large figure. “Pretend this is you, Optimus. See? I even added the horns—you can tell those are horns, right? Ah, hell…anyway—” He shook his head and pointed at the smaller one. “Now pretend that this is me. Cade. Human.”

Though he was still uncertain where this was going, Optimus urged him to continue.

Cade tapped each of the three small figures. “Human…human…human. See?” With some difficulty, he scratched a crude circle around them. “These are humans.” He stood up and faced Optimus, grin wobbling and cheeks darkening as though he only now realized just how close they were to each other. Raising one arm, he pointed in the direction of the fleshling colony, using his other hand to pat his chest. “ _Human_. That’s what we call ourselves.”

Sitting up, Optimus followed his pointing finger, and finally it all made sense once his gaze settled upon the far end of the valley into which he never dared to tread. “Human,” he repeated again, but though he now understood, it still felt odd as it rolled across his tongue. _Human_ did not sound as threatening to him as “fleshling” did, but then again he had only known the latter word all his life.

“Now you see, don’t you? Optimus see?”

He focused on his teacher once more and lifted one corner of his mouth. “Yes, Cade-Human.”

“Er, actually—” Cade began, raising one finger as though about to correct him, then stopped and made a face at him. “Ah, the hilarity! You almost had me there.”

Optimus stretched his grin a bit more, which seemed to be too much for his mate to handle.

“So!” Cade blurted, suddenly in a rush to continue with their lesson. “Uh, so…if Cade—” He jabbed a finger at the smaller drawings. “—is human…” A long pause followed as he circled the larger figures, one crooked curve barely missing the featured one’s horns. “Then what is Optimus?”

Silence hung between them for several moments. Slowly, Cade turned around to meet his gaze. Optimus waited patiently for him to keep going.

“Well, Optimus?” Cade asked, also waiting patiently. “What are you?”

Optimus felt his face droop. He was not being quizzed, was he? Ah. No, of course not. Cade was asking him to teach _him_ something.

Alas, it was an answer that he could not give, for he did not know it, either.

Cade’s expectant smile faded. He tilted his head, studying him with such intensity that Optimus had to avert his gaze to his own hands, which had folded themselves in his lap. _Klak, klak, klak_ , went Cade’s pebble against the stone, each tap softer and sadder than the last.

“Does your kind…not have a collective name, or…?”

Optimus could not understand the words, but when he glanced at Cade, he could read the question on his face. He shrugged and shook his head, wishing more than anything that he could explain the unexplainable. If he was to be honest, he had never given this particular mystery much thought until right at that moment. His kind may give names to those around them, and they might have words for different groups or places or things. But all metal creatures, as a whole? There was nothing other than “us”, “our”, and “we”. All they knew, all they cared about was that they existed and survived, conquered and thrived.

They just… _were_.

But what _were_ they?

The more Optimus pondered over it, the emptier he felt. Strangely, the emptiness was not unlike how he felt whenever he used to spend days upon days on this very ledge, desperately probing his memory for answers, only to come up with nothing. This of course reminded him of the claw-hills and Grimlock, and then his old home and the dark energon and everything else that he _could_ remember but would rather not. Heaving a frustrated sigh, he drew his knees up and rested his head upon his arms.

Beside him, he heard Cade’s smaller, quieter sigh. “I’m sorry.”

Without looking, he slid his arm down so he could extend a limp hand. Not a sparkbeat passed before he felt those tiny hands caressing his fingertip. It was not quite enough to bring his mood shooting back up, but it was a start. He gave a low rumble of appreciation.

In return, Cade gave him a comforting pat. “Well…one thing is for certain. You’re not the monster they say you are.”

His voice helped Optimus relax, but even as Cade chattered at him in soft tones, he found himself leaning forward and peering down at the ruins far below. It had been a while since he last thought about his past offerings, but Cade’s kind gestures were once again stirring up one of his biggest regrets. All those missed opportunities…all those fleshlings—humans—that he could have aided rather than avoided…

_Stop thinking about them_ , he thought, closing his eyes. _They’re long gone_.

“What…happened to them?”

Cade’s whispers had trailed off, so when he suddenly spoke again, Optimus blinked himself back to the present with a startled click. Looking under his arm, he finally noticed that Cade had stepped away from him so he could view the ruins, too.

“Be careful,” he rumbled, gently hooking a finger around him. “Come back, you.”

“Your other humans,” Cade chattered on as he was forced to step away from the edge. He gestured at the cliff, then lifted the bottom of his—what was the word?—his _dress_ , and pointed at it, looking up at him with eyes that held a mixture of curiosity and concern. Optimus was not sure, but it almost looked like Cade was afraid to hear the answer to this one. “What happened? I…I know now that you have had little experience with my kind. So…?”

He understood from the moment Cade pointed at his dress. But just to be certain, Optimus held his hands above his head as though they were tied together. As softly as he could manage in his much larger voice, he tried to imitate a human squeal. “Aaaaaaaah?”

Eyes round and cheeks puffed out with a sudden laugh that he could barely contain, Cade bobbed his head up and down. “Yes,” he squeaked at last once he regained his composure, “those humans.”

For his sake, Optimus simply smiled. “Human-cave. Hide, sleep.”

Cade inched closer to the edge and pointed down at the ruins. “Down there?”

Optimus nodded and pulled him back.

This confirmation brought Cade much satisfaction. “I’ve come to figure as much, ever since the day you took me there,” he said with a knowing grin. “It makes sense, now! You only take what you need, and then the two of you go your separate ways.” He was quiet for a long while, smiling to himself at first. But then, to Optimus’s dismay, his face slowly became somber. He gave a mirthless chuckle. “And…I…I suppose none of them ever wanted to go back, because why bother, right? They’re all dead to them from the moment they’re chosen.” His eyes appeared haunted as he stared down at nothing. “ _I’m_ dead to them.”

Lowering his head, Optimus searched and scented for the reason why Cade suddenly looked so upset. To his frustration, all signs told him that it was something that had already happened in the past. Something with which Cade was finally coming to terms.

“In the…the square. That morning, on the day they sent me off.” Cade was hugging himself so tightly that Optimus was surprised he could still breathe. His voice was weaker than he had ever heard it. “It…it was so _surreal_. I think they already had the…the food tables set up? I don’t know, but everything looked nice. All for me, yet none of it was for me. You can’t exactly…participate in anything when…when you’re dead, you know…”

With a soft coo, Optimus brushed Cade with his hand, yearning to pick him up but too afraid to upset him further. At the same time, a spark of outrage ignited deep inside him. Who or what had caused his mate so much distress? What the pit did they _do_?

To his relief, as he began to tilt his hand invitingly, Cade seated himself in his palm, stroking him to signal his consent. Before he had time to reconsider, Optimus gathered him up with both hands and held him close, starting up a soothing purr within his chest. Alas, his purring did nothing. The human was starting to tremble, now, as he buried his soft face into him. Trembling not with fear, but with _anger_. Anger that Optimus could almost smell.

“I had to sit in front of everyone for hours,” Cade spat, “freezing my ass off, while the entire village just…it was all an act, I know it! No one was truly mourning. A huge waste of time was all it was—and yet they always used to accuse _me_ of wasting time? I can’t believe— Of all the— That’s just—!”

Optimus’s alarm reached new heights when Cade pushed himself away from his chest and struggled to his feet. He tried his best to help him balance without letting him topple out of his hands, but Cade was already a step ahead of him. With a bold leap, he latched onto his arm and began to climb. Fearing for his mate’s life, Optimus almost snarled in protest, but one good look at the rage and determination brimming in Cade’s eyes was enough to shut him up. Instead, he kept his hand hovering close to Cade as he clambered onto his shoulder, shook his little fist at his former side of the forest, and bellowed:

“Every single one of you ungrateful bastards was glad to see me go, is that right? Ha! Well, I’m happier than I’ve ever been, now! So thank you, good night, and fuck off!”

Beyond bewildered, Optimus could do nothing more than watch. He was familiar with this sort of behavior, but he had never seen or heard of a human performing it. It was clearly a message to whoever angered him, perhaps even a roar of warning. Was Cade announcing that he shared his territory with him? Or—better yet—was he announcing that Optimus himself was his and his alone?

Spark soaring with hope, Optimus felt a roar of his own start to build within his chest. If he was right, then he should join in, should he not? Cade alone could not boast of their unity to his foes. A message like this needed two.

“Uh,” he began, unsure at first, but then he threw back his head and shouted, “Yes! _Fuckoff_!”

Cade gasped and teetered off his shoulder. Optimus caught him with ease, wrapping both hands around him as he held him upright in front of his face. Mouth flapping open and closed like that of a fish, the human simply stared at him in complete shock for several moments.

“ _Op_ timus!” he squawked at last, and in that instant, Optimus knew he had the old Cade back. Amused and embarrassed, he plastered a hand over his face in an attempt to hide his grin. “Please don’t ever say that again! It’s incredibly offensive, and I…” His body shook with laughter. “Oh, no. I didn’t mean it, really. Honest!”

Optimus tilted his head, relieved but confused. “No fuckoff?”

“Sh, sh, _no_ , shush! Never!” Now he was wheezing, with both hands over his face instead of just one. Legs swinging, toes curling, he wriggled in Optimus’s grip in an uncontrollable fit, till at last he rested his forehead upon his finger. It was there he finally started to catch his breath. “Shit, that felt good, though. Oh, gods. I’m sorry, Optimus. I just…I really needed to let that out, apparently…”

For quite some time, a rather perplexed Optimus sat there on the cliff as Cade snickered and quaked in his hands. His denmate had gone through so many emotions in such a short span that he had not the slightest idea how to respond. After a few moments of consideration, he decided that at this point, the most helpful thing he could do was let Cade know that he was there for him. So with a soft rumble, he closed his eyes and nuzzled him gently with his nose, forcing himself not to take in a single trace of his alluring scent.

Cade let out a small, muffled squeak. His body shook again, but his laughter sounded strange this time. Upon his finger where Cade’s face lay, Optimus detected the tiniest drop of warm moisture.

His concern grew when Cade lifted his head to reveal the damp streaks on his cheeks. An invisible fist squeezed Optimus’s spark. He remembered this. Many of his past offerings did this. Not this one. Never this one!

“Oh, no, Cade,” he murmured, breath hitching. “What is wrong? Did I hurt you?”

But Cade was smiling at him as he sniffed and wiped his eyes. “Thank you,” he said. “I…I still don’t quite understand how or why I’m worthy of your friendship, but…thank you, thank you so much, Optimus. For everything.”

Optimus brought him to his chest, into which Cade buried his face once more. With a shaky sigh, he melted against him. Entirely spent, at long last.

“Yes, that’s it,” Optimus cooed. “Sleep, my little Cade-Human. I know you are tired.”

Within sparkbeats, Cade was in deep slumber. Optimus purred and stroked his hair with his finger, admiring the way his soft lips parted as his face relaxed. He shook his head, hardly believing that this very same creature was snarling upon his shoulder only a short time ago. Whatever had caused his mate’s wild storm of emotions will have to remain a mystery until his human-tongue improved. For all Optimus knew, it could have been numerous things. Seeing Grimlock for the first time was probably only a part of it, if Grimlock even concerned Cade at all.

“I’ll worry about him for you,” he promised with a growl.

As if in response, Cade mumbled in his sleep and rolled onto his side. A large rip at the bottom of his dress revealed much of his upper leg. For a leg made of flesh and hair, it was a rather lovely sight, but Optimus let himself admire it for only a couple moments before he politely resituated the delicate material so that it was covered. At this, the Ache pulsed angrily inside him.

Optimus rolled his eyes with a groan, though he knew he had held it off long enough. Threats or no threats, soon he will _have_ to go out and pleasure himself; it was better to appease it whenever he had the chance than to let it fester. Neither of them needed another disaster first thing in the morning. Poor Cade had gone through enough stress already.

_He deserves a special gift_ , Optimus thought, determined to figure out a way to help his mate before focusing on his own needs. _Something calm. Something nice_.

Something…or somewhere…

And right then, Optimus knew the exact place he and Cade will visit that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the wait  
> just got back from vacation recently  
> and before that it was all about getting ready for vacation lol  
> ya know how it be


	20. Simmering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huehuehuehue

Cade knew he ought to be ashamed of his behavior, but was he?

To his surprise, not entirely.

He could no longer deny that he never did let go of his grudge against his villagemates. Since his first full day out here, it had lingered in the very back of his mind, far beneath his newfound joy and wonder. While it was true that his being chosen led him to Optimus, he still could not shake the unpleasant memories that all those days of preparation had put him through. For so long he had been conditioned to fear the clutches of the unknown, only to experience sudden whiplash when he was met not with agony but with affection. Even up to this point, whenever he had a quiet chance to reflect, there was always that one small beat of disbelief, that one tiny voice in his head that would suggest that none of this was really real.

It was this tiny voice—as well as the anxiety that stemmed from recent events—that had compelled him to get up and go to Optimus. He had to reassure himself, he had to be certain. More importantly, though, he also had to make sure his friend was going to be all right, for they were all he had.

He did not expect to end up _exploding_ , of course. But he was glad that he did.

When he found himself back in his nest late the following morning, Cade felt the absence of his resentment at once. It was finally, truly gone, like a puff of smoke snatched by a gust of wind. In its place now was the pity he felt for all the sacrifices before him, but though he still wondered why he in particular was receiving special treatment and attention, at least pity did not feel as ugly as bitter, bottled-up anger.

He tried to remember all the dreadful things he had screamed at the top of his lungs, but before he had a chance to _make_ himself feel ashamed, all impending embarrassment was put on hold when Optimus appeared at his bedside with an overly jovial and somewhat suspicious “Good morning!”

From that instant, Cade knew he was in for a rather interesting day. He saw it in their eyes, and he felt it in his own bones. No sooner did he sit up and respond with a greeting of his own than a pair of hands descended to scoop him out of his nest, startling a bemused chuckle out of him. His confusion only grew as Optimus brought him to their face to cup him against their smooth cheek.

“Oh! Heh, heh. Well! This isn’t part of our normal routine,” he pointed out, but he gave their cheek a pat anyway, for he had no actual complaint. His body felt so right, pressed so comfortably against the titan’s warm face. Gods, the fire that was igniting in his _own_ face, though! Just what had brought this on?

Alas, their embrace did not last long. Optimus held him out again, purring and gazing at him with such warmth in their eyes that for a moment Cade could not speak. “Good sleep?”

“I-I…I, um,” Cade swallowed, clutching the front of his dress with trembling hands. “I guess so. Yes, yes, it was, please. I mean thank you."

A hot gust of air swept over him as Optimus made a satisfied noise. At once Cade remembered their warm breath on the back of his neck while he had drawn their latest lesson out on the cliff, and his pulse ran wild. He was so out of sorts, he did not notice that Optimus had lowered him to the cave floor until he felt their hands carefully slide out from underneath him. Urged on by a soft nudge, he snapped himself out of his trance and started to head toward the rear of the cave to relieve himself, only to remember that he was skipping breakfast—good grief, why was everything happening out of order! He stopped and looked back, fully awake now.

“Wait…aren’t we forgetting something?”

“Hm?”

“Food?”

With a quick nod, Optimus simply gave him a reassuring rumble and motioned at him to hurry up.

“Er…very well,” Cade said, scratching his head as he continued on. _They’re itching to leave, but where are we going in such a hurry_?

Later, he returned to find Optimus folding something in their hand as they waited for him at the mouth. Glancing up at his approach, their eyes sparked with excitement. Cade could not help but laugh as they dropped into a crouch and extended their free hand toward him, fingers eagerly beckoning.

“I’m coming,” he said, but as he passed his fire pit he paused to consider the fish trap that he had been putting together, slowly but surely, piece by piece. As of right then, it was as complete as he assumed it could get. “Oh, that’s right! I meant to test this out today…”

“Ca-a-ade,” Optimus practically whined.

“Very well. Tomorrow, then!”

He let them pick him up, and once he was comfortable, Optimus lifted their other hand and gently placed a bundle in his lap. It was his blanket, and inside it was, at last, breakfast.

“Ah, I see. Food on the run.” Cade blinked up at Optimus with a frown of concern as they turned and exited the cave. “But why the rush? Where are you taking me?”

Optimus did not answer, but they did give him a mischievous smile, which was enough to unravel Cade’s knot of worry before it had a chance to tighten even more. He could not blame himself for worrying, however. Not while that mountain called Grimlock was still fresh in his mind.

 _Likely still fresh in Optimus’s mind, too_ , he thought as they descended the mountain. He recalled how Optimus had become noticeably jumpier along the way back the evening before, and then, at the cave, how they had acted nervous and uncomfortable—even after they…ugh, did _that_. Had Cade not known better, he would have mistaken today’s restlessness for a continuation from yesterday.

Hm. Now that he thought about it, it would make sense if Optimus was being so cuddly and playful to help distract them both from yesterday’s scare…

“Well, if that is the case,” Cade smiled to himself, “I better play along, then!”

Beside the stream at the foot of their mountain, he was given only a short time to have a drink before Optimus started inching their fingers closer and closer to him, ready to pluck him up and keep right on going. Cade sensed them looming behind him even before he felt them brush against him. But without looking, he put up a finger as he drank, and Optimus paused with a questioning sound.

“Let me have some of this, first,” he said when he was finished, gesturing down at his food, “otherwise I might drop it all.”

Optimus slumped their shoulders and sighed, but they did not object. They rocked back into a sit with a dull crash that disturbed the birds from the nearby trees, then proceeded to stare at Cade while he ate, their eyes wide with silent urgency.

“Looks like your scheme isn’t going as smoothly as you thought it would,” Cade teased between bites. “You know, now is the perfect opportunity to give me some sort of hint.”

They narrowed their gaze, trying in vain to decipher his words.

He spread his arms, shrugging his shoulders. “Where are we going?”

Suddenly understanding what he was trying to do, Optimus shook their head and held up a halting hand. “No, no. Ssshh.”

“Fair enough. Is it at least a good surprise?”

“Good?” They thought for a moment, then gave in with a soft growl. “Mm…yes…”

“I like the sound of that.” Cade mentally went over all the words Optimus had learned as he reached into the stream and swirled his fingers in the current. “Good…what? Good grass? Moss? Hill?” He pulled his hand back out and watched as the droplets fell back to their source. “Good…water?”

At that last one, he glanced up in time to see Optimus press their lips tighter together. Knowing that he was warm, he shot them a triumphant grin, but he spared them from further interrogation.

“You’re right, that does sound like a good surprise.”

The ground beneath him shivered as Optimus started to wriggle with impatience. An adorable sight to behold, Cade had to admit. Alas, most of his food had disappeared by now. He had no reason to hold them back any longer. So he secured what he had left, and soon he found himself in Optimus’s hands once again.

Though the previous few days had grown warmer, today there were clouds in the sky and a nip in the air. Fortunately, Optimus gave off so much body heat that Cade had not noticed till he had sat by the stream, and now that they were walking again, the surrounding wall of fingers shielded him from the cold breeze. Had the weather been nicer, he would have gladly sat upon Optimus’s shoulder, for he hardly got the chance to do so as of late. A mite afraid of it at first, he had grown fond of that particular spot as his confidence and balance gradually improved. The arrangement gave him a fantastic view of the world around them, and in turn it freed his companion’s hands, allowing them to inspect and collect with ease.

He peeked through their fingers to watch the ruined fortress as they passed. As usual, Optimus picked up the pace until it was out of sight. Now that Cade knew better, he did not blame them. Its potential hidden secrets still piqued his interest, but as long as Optimus associated the gloomy place with separation, it will remain at the bottom of Cade’s list of priorities. He was lucky that he was not immediately dropped off there like all the others apparently had been; like hell he would risk giving up this privilege. Not even a quick poke around was worth another misunderstanding.

Straight across the valley they went, stepping over thickets and shouldering past trees. It never ceased to amaze Cade the amount of effort Optimus put forth to avoid simply flattening everything in their path. If yesterday’s display of raging strength was anything to go by, doing so would have made navigating so much faster for them, with far fewer sticks and leaves trapped in their armor by the end of the day. But Cade had since learned that beneath their intimidating exterior, a part of Optimus seemed to respect this tiny world that so often irritated and hindered them.

Somewhere above the layer of clouds, the sun had nearly crested its peak by the time they reached the mountains on the opposite side. Cade had been taken close to these on occasion, but he had yet to be carried up their slopes. Just to be sure, he peered left and he squinted right, but nothing in their immediate surroundings struck him as familiar. Yes, this place was definitely new.

He heard Optimus scent the air as they emerged from the depths of the forest and paused among the scrub that dotted the rocky incline. Twisting around so he could get a good look at their face, he raised his eyebrows in a silent question. The ghost of a smirk pulled at the corner of their mouth as they nodded and pointed up the slope. Almost there.

Their climb upward was shorter than Cade expected. As the rest of the mountain steepened above them, the path Optimus followed leveled out into a narrow pass that ran between two of the giant peaks. A few large formations arched overhead along the way; these were nowhere near as enormous and stunning as the metal ones Cade had beheld only a day ago, but they took his breath away nonetheless.

One final curve, and suddenly they reached a dead-end.

A dead-end filled with thin, white veils that rose past the steep cliffs, disappearing as they floated into the little patch of sky high above.

“What on earth?” Cade blurted.

Optimus beamed down at him. “Feel-good water,” they announced proudly, and with that, they carefully plucked Cade up by the back of his dress and set him down.

It was a good thing Cade had eaten all the berries he had, otherwise they would have gotten smooshed when he hugged the bundle to his chest, his eyes widening and his jaw hanging slack. Dotting the stony clearing before him were small pools—that in itself was normal, he supposed. What stunned him was that the veils he saw rising from the water did, in fact, consist of steam.

“What! Who built all these fancy baths—?” he began, then shook his head because that was _stupid_ , who in their right mind would go all the way out here to do that? But that would mean that this sort of thing was somehow natural. “I’ve…I’ve never heard of anything like this, Optimus. How…?”

His voice trailed off as he approached the closest pool and knelt beside it, chuckling in amazement as he felt the warmth it produced caress his face. Setting aside his burden, he stretched out a hand, then hesitated. He looked back at Optimus, unsure.

Optimus clicked at him reassuringly as they crouched behind him, their heat combined with that of the water creating a humid summer day in the cool of early spring. Reaching over him, they checked the water for him with their fingers. “Feel, Cade.”

Cade wondered how much higher their heat tolerance was compared to his. But though he was still wary, he did trust his friend. So he reached out again, and slowly, timidly, he tested the water himself. As he expected, it felt hot initially, but as he accustomed himself to it, he discovered that it truly did feel good. Like a human-made bath, this natural one was the perfect temperature.

“This is incredible,” he said at last, and after a moment’s thought, he went on: “I have heard about mountains that spit fire—everyone thinks they’re just myths. But if a mountain with hot water can exist, then those might be real, too, someplace.”

He reached deeper into the pool until his fingers grazed the bottom. Excellent. Not too deep, not too shallow. This would be the perfect spot to bathe himself on a chilly day like today.

 _Oh_ , he remembered, _that’s right_.

Every accident involving water aside, he had not had a proper bath since the dawn of the Hundredth Spring. Back in the village, living in such close quarters with livestock and other people, one could get away with bathing only once or twice a fortnight; for most, there was little sense worrying about personal hygiene in an atmosphere that was already clogged with filth and reeking of smoke. But alone, out here, in the clean air? After all the spit and dirt and blood and gunk he had come across? Good gods, he must smell absolutely horrid!

Suddenly grateful that Optimus’s shadow prevented him from having to study his own reflection, he grimaced as he stood and turned around to look up, half-expecting to finally see an expression of disgust that he had failed to notice before. Instead, to his relief, he found not a single trace of repulsion behind that pleased smile.

 _Feel-good water_ , he reminded himself. Optimus took him here because they knew he liked warmth, not because they thought he smelled. _It’s fine. I’m fine_.

“Thank you,” he said with deepest sincerity. “It feels fantastic!”

Optimus dipped their head.

“Now I, uh, suppose I better wash while I’m here,” Cade added with a sheepish chuckle, pretending to scrub his scalp with his fingers.

Copying his motion with one hand, Optimus smiled again. “Hair, yes.”

“ _Wash_ hair,” Cade said, grinning back at them.

“Wa-shuh…hair?”

“That’s right. And Cade is going to wash. Right now.”

Still smiling, he put his hands on his hips and waited.

But Optimus continued to sit there. Gesturing with a nod, they encouraged him to hop right on in. “Wa-shuh hair!”

Cade felt his stomach plummet. His mouth clamped shut into a tight, thin line. _Oh, no_.

“Heh…uh, Optimus?”

“Yes?”

Feeling a blush coming on, he made a twirling motion with his finger. “I have to actually…you know. Could…could you perhaps—?”

Now Optimus’s smile was faltering, too. They tilted their head, confused.

“Just turn around, please,” Cade finally managed, his voice stern this time.

Now looking somewhat worried, Optimus eventually followed his orders. But to Cade’s growing dismay, they did not budge an inch away from him to give him more space. His brain froze, unsure how to go about this. Would Optimus let him have his privacy, or were they still too worried about Grimlock to leave his side? At first, Cade opened his mouth to instruct them further, but in the end he decided that it was not worth the trouble. If he was quick enough, he could undress and enter the pool before Optimus grew impatient. And just to make matters less awkward than necessary, he could keep his undercloth on, as well.

Besides, it was not like he had never been naked around Optimus before, right?

Cade laughed nervously to himself. “Shit.”

With that said, he slipped out of his dress as quickly as he could, trying his best not to further damage the tattered material. For a few heartbeats his head was stuck, and of course that was the moment he heard Optimus start to fidget. Panicking, he freed himself and instinctively used the dress to shield his body. Turned out that was a good call, for Optimus’s head was beginning to turn.

“Wait, don’t look!” he yelped.

Optimus jolted and snapped their eyes forward again, grunting an apology.

Puffing out a sigh of relief, Cade left his dress on a small rock and carefully stepped into the pool with first one foot, then the other. After much hissing and hesitating, he lowered himself until his midsection was submerged. Bit by bit, he felt himself relax as the heat enveloped his body; not till now did he realize just how sore and tense his muscles had been. _Oooh_ …

He drew in a sharp breath. _I didn’t just moan out loud, did I_?

“C…Cade?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a shiver run down Optimus’s back. Very slowly, they started to turn their head again with an inquisitive stream of clicks.

“Y-yes.” Cade cleared his throat and hunkered down as well as he could. “Go ahead. You, um…you can look now. If you want to. I guess.”

They looked. In a split second, their eyes grew very round. With a startled noise, they slammed a hand over their face and whirled around again, muttering what sounded like a metal-beast curse.

“What’s wrong?”

Optimus made an odd sort of whimpering sound. “No…d-dress.”

“Huh? W-well, yes,” Cade stammered, "that's what I've been trying to tell you."

"No _dress_ ," Optimus repeated with a groan, shaking their head as though they could not believe it.

"Come now, d-don't be silly." Unfortunately, saying that did not seem to be curing Cade's own silliness, either. How he wished he could control the squeak in his voice! "It’s just my top side. N-nothing you haven’t seen b-before.”

But as Optimus took a peek at him again, he caught a glimpse of a familiar glint in those dark eyes. With a gulp, he sank even lower into the water. All of a sudden he felt a bit trapped, and for a brief moment his mind’s eye transformed his bath into a giant cauldron of soup.

 _What have I gotten myself into_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god, you adorable fools. you goofy buffoons. you complete utter FUCKING morons.
> 
> next chapter coming out in a couple days!


	21. Smoldering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the awkwardness continues

Optimus had changed his mind.

This was a _terrible_ idea.

_Why_ did Cade have to take off his dress? That was not supposed to happen at all! He had gone into water with it on before, had he not? Why take it off here? Why _now_? Was he doing this to him on purpose?

He peeked at Cade again, and to his horror he found that he could not look away. The human’s lower half was underwater, distorted by ripples and steam, but Optimus had caught a good glimpse of his exposed torso the first time he looked at him. Though all that was above the surface now was Cade’s head and shoulders, he had seen that his skin was flushed pink and sparkling with beads of moisture. Staring at him, all Optimus could think about was that night on the cliff, when he had held a bare Cade in his hands. How soft he had felt, how good his sweat had tasted…

Pit, pit, pit.

The Ache chewed and clawed him, yanked his spark and squeezed his groin. A war had begun inside his own body at the worst possible time, and he did not know how long he will last before it tore him in two.

Cade watched him, bashful yet concerned. “Are y-you…feeling well?”

Optimus opened his mouth to reassure him, but it came out as a grunt. Clenching his jaw and balling his hands into tight fists, he sprang up and went to sit down on a boulder that was a fair distance away from Cade. He dipped his feet into a different pool as he settled down, but though it felt nice, it did little to distract.

_Relax_.

_Take_ …

_No, relax_!

Digging his fingers into the stone, he closed his eyes and tried to think of something, anything else. Alas, that was hard to do while knowing that his mate was very wet and very close. He could sense his gaze upon him. He could hear him splashing about. In his mind, he could still see every foreign detail of his chest, could almost feel his little spark beating within.

_How do humans merge_? Optimus wondered. _Is it even possible_?

He assumed not. There was no visible seam in Cade’s chest area, just a sprinkling of fuzz and a pair of tiny, dark bumps. Unlike armor, the outer flesh of a human’s body appeared to be all in one piece, as though it worked like a covering on its own. Everything that was sealed inside, was obviously meant to stay inside—even the spark.

That was fine. He could live without mating that way.

Even in sleep, his human seemed happy enough getting off to a simple touch on the back, anyhow…

_Pit, there I go again_!

“Oh. Um, Optimus?”

He pried his eyes open and cautiously turned his head, preparing for the worst. “Hnn, hnnrrrgh?”

Cade was resting his arms upon the edge, pushing aside the drenched hair that had plastered itself over his eyes. “Could you please hand that to me?” He outstretched a glistening arm toward his blanket, fingers grabbing air and then pointing. An apologetic smile pulled at his mouth. “I can’t reach it. You sort of…kicked it aside, by accident.”

Optimus bit back a groan once he realized he had disturbed Cade’s belongings in his scramble to force space between the two of them. Pulling his feet out of the steamy water, he took a deep breath to compose himself, then approached Cade’s pool with small, timid steps. Without meaning to, he glanced down at his mate as he bent to pick up the blanket, and he nearly toppled over when he saw how Cade was positioned underwater. Had the pool’s edge not been there to support him, he would have been down on all fours. Again, the shape of his body was distorted, but it was enough for Optimus to see that his rear end was raised like that of a needy, Aching recipient.

Flaring his nasal plating, Optimus bit his bottom lip to prevent his moan from escaping.

Right then, Cade seemed to remember himself, pushing away from the edge with a choking sound and squatting down in the middle once more. The shade of his face was far beyond pink at this point.

Scorching red.

Scorching like the Ache.

Scorching like the parts hidden behind Optimus’s pelvic plating, which had begun to swell and throb with every pulse of his frantic spark.

Now Cade was biting his lip, as well. As though out of nervousness or…or perhaps…in anticipation.

It would be so easy to just scoop him out of the pool and claim him. Enough waiting for Cade to advance first! Optimus himself could end both of their suffering once and for all, here and now. He may be inexperienced, but he had waited for so long, had so many fantasies playing out in his mind, that by now he was sure he would see their pleasure-making through to the end, and do it well. He wanted to make Cade squirm and sweat for him again. He wanted to smell more of his pleasure. He wanted to make him _squeal_ , like never before. He wanted…he wanted to…

Oh, but he could not. He could not ruin this for Cade. This was supposed to be his time to relax, to feel safe!

Optimus pinched the blanket between two fingers and handed it over, squeezing his eyes shut as the human stretched his arms up above his head to catch it.

“Thank you.” Cade sounded breathless.

“Mm,” Optimus grunted, again unable to say more. The Ache was pounding, now. It was no use. He had to get away, and soon. But that would mean he would have to leave Cade unprotected and exposed. What were the odds that a rival would sneak over these mountains and come across his human while he was preoccupied? After yesterday, he could no longer say those odds were slim to none, could he?

Peering over his shoulder, he considered the boulder upon which he had sat. He did not want to rut in front of Cade (even though he also _did_ want to), but he definitely did not want the alternative to happen again, either. What would happen if he just—? Oh, no, no, he did not dare!

_But I must I must mate must signal mate impress mate must must must_!

“Don’t worry, Optimus, I know you’re restless,” Cade spoke up, his tone reassuring. “I’m…I’m almost finished. If you’ll just give me a chance to…to dry off, first…”

Optimus looked back down at him to see that he was motioning at him to turn around again. In a surge of panic, he shot up and faced the opposite direction, hugging himself and squeezing his arms so hard he swore he felt his armor give a little. Down below, behind his constricting plating, he could feel his fluids collecting, threatening to seep through some way or another if he did not uncover his groin soon.

He could smell himself.

…Could Cade smell him, too?

“Uh-h-hrrgh,” he groaned.

Meanwhile, he heard more splashing as Cade clambered out of the water. Wet feet slapped. Tiny droplets splattered. Soft material rubbed vigorously over hair and skin. At one point he spoke to Optimus, his words rushed, his voice muffled behind his blanket.

“My clothes are in dire need of a wash, too, I’m afraid. But I guess I can do that in the cave at any time, can’t I?”

Alas, the sound of his mate’s voice only catalyzed his need. Biting on his wrist armor to hide his whimper, Optimus lifted one leg and rubbed the other with the side of his foot. When he let it drop, his legs ended up crossed, one thigh applying pressure over the other, so close to the perfect spot. Oh! Perhaps if he stood like this…no, no, that was not enough. He needed _more_.

“All done.”

Optimus blinked down in surprise, for Cade’s voice was no longer behind him, but right next to him. Now wearing his dress with the blanket wrapped over it, the human looked back up at him with a puzzled frown.

“What in the world are you doing?”

Careful not to step on him, Optimus uncrossed his legs and bent down to cup his hands around his damp form. But right when he was about to pick him up, Cade froze. His nose twitched, and then he took a deep breath.

“Hold on a minute,” he whispered. “Do you smell that? I think…I think it’s that blue—”

Optimus snatched his hands back before he could touch him, for if he had in that moment, he likely would have never let him go. “Cade wait.”

“What?”

“Wait,” he repeated, more firmly this time as he stood up. His insides burned. His legs quivered. His vision was no longer clear. He hated this. He hated this so much. But he had to seek release, _right now_ , and he did not want to let Cade see in case he was not ready, even though he desperately wanted him to see, but he could not but he needed him but _I mustn’t I need I want I_ —

He spun around and took off running, back the way they came. Far behind him, he heard Cade yell his name. He knew without looking that the human was not doing as he was told. Though Optimus was outpacing him by several long strides, his little mate was still trying to keep up with him.

It was this realization (well, and also the fact that there was not a single decent mount in sight on this pit-spawned mountainside) that forced him to a skidding halt once he reached the scrubby slope. Snarling in frustration, he searched in vain for an answer within the forest that sprawled before him. He stamped and paced, growled and cursed. There was only one acceptable solution, and to gain access to it, he must wait for Cade to catch up first. If only he could control himself for just a bit longer…!

After what felt like eons, the human appeared at last, looking up at him in utter bewilderment as he ran up. Somehow, he had managed to hang onto his blanket, even though it was no longer wrapped around him. Instead, it was balled up sloppily beneath his arm, allowing Optimus to admire the way his dress plastered itself to his damp skin.

He could see almost everything right through it.

The Ache purred.

“What happens now?” Cade panted, then shook his head. “Never mind…it’s going to be all right, Optimus. No matter what you do, just…know I’m here for you when you’ve…calmed down…”

Optimus’s senses had begun to blur together yet again at the sight of Cade. Just barely, he could sense the mounting uncertainty in his voice as he stalked towards him, but he was too far gone to attempt to understand anything he was trying to tell him.

_My Cade-Human…mine, mine, mine_!

With a sudden burst of speed, he swooped down and scooped him off the ground in one smooth motion, causing Cade to drop his blanket with a spooked yelp. Quickly, _quickly-quickly-quickly_ , he carried him to the closest tree he could find, and placed him upon the sturdiest bough. Cade chattered in protest as he withdrew his hands, but though his instincts screamed at him to hold onto him, Optimus simply stood back and watched to make certain his mate did not try anything clever.

The blurring shape of Cade hugged the trunk with both arms. Optimus could hear the plea in his voice. “All right, now _this_ —this is completely unnecessary. Get me down from here!”

“Cade wait,” Optimus growled with an aimless point of his finger, hopefully for the last time that day. Then, in a softer voice, he added: “Sorry, sorry…please…wait…sorry…”

“What? No, _you_ wait. Come back!”

Optimus raced to the hot pools. Halfway there, his plating slid open and his spike sprang free, hot fluids streaming down his thighs. That boulder he had sat upon will have to do, after all. It was far too late to turn back, now.

At least this time, he was sure to be alone…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good job Optimus, i'm sure that's a 100% foolproof plan that won't bite you in the aft in any way shape or form whatsoever
> 
> once again, next chapter comes out in a few days!


	22. Scalding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now rated e for everyone  
> justin case  
> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Part of Cade wondered if staying put was indeed the wiser choice. He would be out of the way, after all. More importantly, up here was where Optimus had placed him, where they wanted him to be. The least he could do was remain where he could be found once his companion recovered.

But he could not stand the thought of waiting dozens of feet above the ground for gods knew how long, not knowing how Optimus was coping without his support. He could not shake the feeling that he was at fault—again. At some point during his bath, something he had done had pushed them into yet another frenzy. Cade had been too flustered and embarrassed to pay close attention to Optimus the entire time, so he was uncertain as to when the exact tipping point had been. What he had noticed was the way they held themself so stiffly, the way they kept staring at him with those glittering eyes, the way they _groaned_ …not in pain, but…something else…?

Oh, the whole ordeal up till now was all a blur to him already! One thing after another had happened so fast, and now he was stuck in a bloody tree. Gods, he was _freezing_ …

“That does it,” he muttered as he watched Optimus disappear from his line of sight. “I’m coming after you!”

Hooking his fingertips into the rough bark, he began a descent that felt painfully slow. Not since childhood had he climbed a tree, and those village trees were mere twigs compared to this giant. Fortunately the branches below prevented him from seeing just how long of a fall he would experience if he lost his footing, but they were so numerous they also prevented him from navigating the maze without getting his dress caught every few seconds. He yanked and cursed as he went down limb by limb, praying that nothing will give and send him plummeting to a rather stupid demise.

Finally, after he paused to brush the needles from his face, he risked a glance downward and discovered that the next limb was the last. Below that was nothing but trunk—and the ground still seemed a bit too far away for his liking.

“Damn it, Optimus,” he cursed again, but it was for Optimus’s sake that he continued anyway, hugging the trunk for dear life as he started to inch his way down feet-first. His dress rode clear up to his midsection, and the bark scratched his skin and tore his nails, but despite all this, he dared not let go until his feet touched the bottom. Stumbling backward, he sat on the ground grimacing in pain for a moment, feeling filthy all over again as he looked down to find needles and flecks of bark all over himself. Worse still, there were new tears in his dress, the most obvious a rather long one that started from the neckline and ran down his chest; only a few threads here and there kept it from splitting apart completely, but there was definitely more skin showing than there used to be.

Now that _that_ nonsense was out of the way, he puffed out a long breath of relief, then opened his senses to the sweet smell that lingered in the cool air…and the clanging commotion that resonated from the faux pass.

“I’ll be right there,” Cade promised under his breath as he struggled to his feet. “Hold on, friend.”

Somehow, someway, they must have come across that slimy repellent again. Perhaps he had stepped in some after he got out of the pool? No, impossible! His feet may have already been wet, but he still would have noticed the difference. In fact, he surely would have noticed its scent long before then. Optimus had seemed uncomfortable throughout Cade’s entire bath, yet they managed to restrain themself until he was finished. Would they not have become enraged sooner if the slime had been there all along?

None of it made sense. Nothing added up.

He left his blanket where it had fallen, for his concern for Optimus was so great at this point that nothing else mattered. Up the slope he climbed, already panting for breath by the time he reached the path that led to the pools. The racket had subsided for several heartbeats, but as Cade entered the pass, it started up once more—softly at first, then louder and louder, each crash sending an echo that bounced off the looming cliffs and straight into his ears. Strange as it was, the noise was somewhat familiar to him; time and again, he had heard this repetitive beat from afar whenever he was alone in the cave, usually while he was drifting in and out of sleep. Now that he was closer, however, it sounded far too quick to match up with his mental picture of Optimus throwing punches at the stone walls.

Something glistened on the ground up ahead. Cade slowed down to a walk, and as he cautiously approached the puddle, a fresh wave of that powerful smell hit him like a charging destrier. He gave it a wide berth, only to find another blue puddle a few paces later, and then another one after that. His nose was absolutely filled with the heavy scent; it was so thick he half-expected to choke on it, but even if he did, he still would have wanted more. Heart racing, mouth watering, he shrugged off the peculiar urge to stop for a taste and forced himself to keep walking.

The more puddles he found, the more worried he became, for he was almost certain that they were not there when he had chased Optimus in the opposite direction. Each one was more of a splat than an actual puddle, he realized. Fresh ones. Which could mean only one thing.

_Is Optimus…leaking_?

Leaking what? Tears? _Blood_? But how did they injure themself? When—?

The noise smashed to a halt as he neared the final curve. Somewhere out of view, Optimus gave a light snarl, and then a long groan. Cade froze with a quiet gasp.

In that instant, he knew that nothing was seriously wrong, after all.

And yet, something was telling him that he probably should not take another step.

But he recognized that particular groan. Like the other noise, by now he had heard it multiple times since he met Optimus. Most often at night and from a distance, but he had heard this one up close, too. Why, he had the opportunity to _feel_ it underneath him on his first full night in the cave, right before that terrible, wonderful incident on the cliff…

It was a sound from his darkest fantasies about Optimus.

The exact same sound from the dream he had a couple nights ago.

A sound that pulled him in as much as that sweet scent did…

Muscles tense, breath quivering, Cade kept close to the wall as he crept round the bend, staying low, staying quiet. Step by step. Inch by inch. Not once did he stop…until his eyes found the titan’s massive, heaving form through the shroud of steam.

Their back was turned, but even if Optimus had been facing his direction, Cade later realized that they likely would not have noticed him, for as far as they were concerned, they were alone in their own little world. With a low, warbling cry, they slowly arched their spine, their back plating glistening as they tilted their head backward till the patch of sky was looking down upon their face, which Cade could not see. Their cry became a gurgle, and then a snarl, and suddenly Optimus was snapping forward again, their torso supported by their arms, locked straight and braced against the rock formation over which their legs were straddling.

At first, Cade did not know what to think of it. He was not even sure he was correctly processing what his eyes were telling him.

But then, Optimus began to move.

_Really_ move.

With a twist of their hips and a great deal of screeching, they ground themself into the stone beneath them. Them _self_ as in their…their…!

Cade choked and slapped both hands over his mouth. But he could not look away.

“Uuunnh,” went Optimus, and then they repeated the motion, sharper this time, with a purr of what could only be pure pleasure.

“Hhh,” Cade wheezed, so very softly, though to his own ears, it sounded far too loud. Now biting his fingers, he tore his gaze away, stumbled back a few steps—out of here, he must get out of here!—but again his eyes were attracted to that shimmering back, those rolling hips, and again he was frozen on the spot.

His eyes and ears were almost as virgin as the rest of him. Throughout his life, he had overheard the occasional inappropriate jest or remark, and a few times he had had the unfortunate opportunity to witness a pair of animals interlocking with one another in savage copulation. If he disregarded every night he had ever spent stroking himself (as well as certain, uh…exchanges he had shared with Optimus, both in fantasy and reality), he did not know very much else about this sort of thing. He had his theories, but in truth, he knew not what it was supposed to look or sound like between people, and he certainly had no clue what it felt like with another person, either.

Well…now he was certainly starting to get the idea. From a spectator’s standpoint, at least.

Another lustful moan sent Cade staggering backward again, this time till he had his back flat against the wall. There he remained, plastered and spellbound, forced to watch as Optimus jerked and rocked, hindquarters flexing as their gyrations transitioned into thrusts. Cade swore he heard the soft squelch of something slick, but at that instant Optimus hunched over the boulder with a growl that shook from the increasing force of their own movements. Arms latching around their mount, hands grasping desperately and fingers scoring the surface, they took it like a dog would take a bitch in heat, brutal and swift. Every thrust sent a visible jolt throughout Optimus’s body, as well as a resounding crash that rattled inside Cade’s skull.

His ears were still ringing when Optimus suddenly paused once more, panting hard, their gleaming legs scraping stone as they shifted their weight around. With a whimper they teased their groin against the rough surface in light circles, creating more wet sounds that Cade was now quite certain he did not imagine. A waft of hot, sweet air reached his nose—and at the same time, from between Optimus’s quivering thighs, a small gush of thick, blue liquid oozed down the boulder and dripped to the ground with an audible _spluk_.

Cade almost screamed.

The slime…was their—?!

And he had put his finger—

Which explained why Optimus had—!

Oh, no, no, no. He could not possibly face the light of day ever again after this! From here, the most logical thing to do was to run far, far away, dig himself a deep, dark grave, and just _die_.

“Aaah-h-h—hrrgh…h…human…”

Petrified, Cade focused on the back of Optimus’s head again, expecting them to have somehow sensed that he was there. Their body language betrayed nothing, but that did not mean Optimus did not at least smell him. With trembling lips he opened his mouth to try to voice an apology, but even if he could eventually find the courage to say anything, he found that he was incapable of making a sound. His tongue, his throat, his lungs—everything was useless. A decent person would have at least left the scene, and he could not even manage that, for his legs were still working against him. He was an absolute mess, a complete wreck!

Then, he realized that Optimus was not speaking to him in the way that he thought they were.

“Cade.” Their strained voice was as familiar as that long groan. Clicking and whining, they shifted their position yet again, and at last Cade could see their profile. Their eyes were closed, their mouth hanging open in an expression of bliss. Shuddering, rocking, they soon regained their rhythm and fell forward, battering their imaginary partner with fervor. For a brief moment, their eyes cracked open, just enough for a glimpse of bright purple to flash through. “Cade…ah…aaahhhrrgghh…ah, Cade!”

And so there it was: The confirmation that Cade had been hoping and praying for, the wish that a part of him had clung to and held inside his heart for so long.

Optimus… _did_ want him.

His heart soared. His body swayed. A vortex of conflicting emotions—disbelief and desire among them—swirled round and round inside him, till he had no choice but to slide down into a sit. In the back of his mind he wondered whether or not he should be repulsed and offended, and when he decided that he was not, he then wondered if he ought to be disgusted with himself for _not_ feeling offended. But he could not be, even if he tried. He had wanted this too much, far too much, and now it was definitely real. Amazing. Incredible. Unbelievable…!

_Wait_.

Wait, wait, wait.

If Optimus desired him in return, did that mean they wished to take him…like _that_?

Oh, gods.

Muffling a whimper of his own, Cade hid himself behind a rock, just in case there was a chance that Optimus could notice him while they were in this state. He had to fight the sudden urge to flee, for though a large part of him was afraid, a larger, more selfish part of him was determined to stay. The shock had worn off for the most part by now, allowing every grunt and groan from Optimus to go straight to his loins. No matter how hard he tried to ignore what those noises were doing to him, his cock was reacting as though it had its own pair of ears. Biting his lip, he fidgeted and tugged at his undercloth through his dress in a vain attempt to relieve some of the pressure without having to touch himself.

Optimus growled his name again. Louder.

Cade could not help but take another peek.

They were slowly arching backward once more, only this time their frantic movements did not let up. Back, back, back…almost horizontal. With their thighs clamped around the base of the stone, they propped their body up with their elbows on the ground. The hand that was closer to Cade landed in one of the pools with a heavy splash, fingers grabbing blindly at the rim that separated that body of water from the pool next to it. Optimus squeezed the natural barrier, tighter and tighter, till suddenly the two pools became one. Crushed rock plopped into the water as their fist twitched open, fingers curling and uncurling as though caught between two decisions.

Cade gawped at this accidental show of strength for only a heartbeat before his eyes caught something else.

It was longer than he was tall, and thicker than a tree trunk. It was bouncing between Optimus’s thighs. And it was unmistakably, unapologetically phallic-shaped.

He shook himself and looked again with wider eyes (if that was even possible), but there it was: a massive, leaking, silver cock.

_Where the hell did that come from_?!

Flustered all over again, Cade ducked back down and placed a hand over his pounding chest. This was too much to take in. He dared not watch anymore. If Optimus caught him spying on them…well, perhaps whatever happened next would not be so bad…but, good gods, that _cock_. There was no way. Surely Optimus realized that? Surely they would not try to…?

Oh, dear. Oh, no.

_I should have stayed in that tree_!

Yet as he thought this, he caught himself reaching for his own erection as he listened to Optimus. Licking his lips, he held himself through his clothes, shivering with sinful delight as he gave it a light stroke. His fear was great, but his arousal was greater. To pleasure himself in secret, while an oblivious Optimus was so close, in more ways than one…oh, sod it! This was an opportunity he could not pass up.

He could not see it, but he knew their cock was bouncing faster once he noticed that their movements had become more erratic, once be recognized desperation in their vocalizations. He recalled the heat of their gaze upon him, the smoothness of their lips as they nibbled him oh-so-tenderly, the hot slickness of their tongue as they licked his skin. He pictured himself replacing that boulder, tried to imagine how it would feel to be one of Optimus’s kind, to be mounted by someone so big and strong and perfect. He wondered how much his body could possibly take before he was split in two…!

Roaring, now. Optimus was roaring his name.

Cade reached his peak quicker than he anticipated. His silent cry ended with a squeak into his free hand. Somewhere beyond the thrumming pulse in his ears, he heard a final, heavy crash and a low, tired groan. And then all was quiet.

A minute later, he slumped against his rock as shame washed over him. “Did I really just do that?” he whispered.

The stickiness he felt down below told him _Yes_.

With great effort, he pushed himself up to his knees and peered over the rock to check on Optimus, dreading what he might see next. To his relief, he found that they were lying on their side and facing the other direction, their body rattling with snores. Translucent streaks and smears painted the formation they had rutted against—the only obvious sign that anything obscene had just occurred.

“All done,” Cade murmured, nodding to himself. His voice sounded tiny in this deafening silence. “Right. Good. That…um…certainly happened.”

His limbs felt numb as he stood. He started to take his leave, then stopped with a gulp. Though he could easily slip away before Optimus came to, his scent will linger. One whiff…and they will _know_. No, no! What had he been thinking, letting himself release? _Idiot_!

He could not let them know that he knew. Not yet.

He needed time to think. To _breathe_.

If not that, he at least needed time to rinse the seed from his clothes!

For a long while he was stuck in a panic, looking from Optimus, to the way out, and back to Optimus again. Neither option was ideal. Either way, he will not be able to erase what he just witnessed from memory, or how he had handled it. He could try to pretend that he did not see anything, but that might only work for so long. And even if he did succeed, there was still the glaring fact that this will likely happen again and again, and gods knew how much longer Optimus will hold back before their patience wore thin!

No matter what Cade decided now, his relationship with Optimus was destined to take a turn…and soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah


	23. Acting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well yeah, of course i gave myself another long break after posting three chapters in a row! why wouldn't i? xD  
> kinda short but at least it's another step closer to dick-licking

How strange…

It was so intense, seemed so real, that Optimus swore he could actually smell Cade’s pleasure as the human’s hot, quivering body fell limp in their imaginary embrace. Dark and snug was the world around them, so much like their den that he simply assumed that was where his mind had placed them. The walls were still shaking from his bellow as he felt himself teeter backward, his own body trembling as the last of the Aching pressure spilled out of him. With a purring sigh he rolled onto his side, his arms creating a nest of sorts for his partner.

Stranger still, the scene continued after the final throes of their climax. It was short and innocent—nothing more than a glimpse of Cade with a smile on his face, spent yet satisfied as he snuggled into the palm of his hand and closed his eyes—but it was enough to make his spark skip and bound for joy. For so long he had yearned for the night he could safely share the nook with his mate again, without fear of interruptions or misunderstandings. It had been only a matter of time before his mind added a soft epilogue to one of his wicked fantasies.

A dark haze of contentment followed, and after that, a few moments of nothing but black.

He awoke in a more confused state than usual, and understandably so. This place was not one of his regular rutting spots. For a couple sparkbeats he lay there squinting at the mess he created, completely stumped.

Then it all came crashing back over Optimus like an enormous wave. He shot up so fast that he overbalanced and fell forward onto his hands and knees. Shaking himself with a frustrated growl, he searched the surrounding pools in wild desperation.

 _Where is he_? _Where is my human_!

But right when he asked himself this, a fuzzy memory returned to him, and his bristling armor wilted. Oh, no. The tree! How could he have forgotten? What had he been _thinking_? Poor Cade must be so cold and sick with worry by now…not to mention incredibly annoyed, as well.

Scrambling in his haste, Optimus began clearing off the evidence, for it had always been his habit, even before Cade—he could not afford to attract any unwanted suitors to his territory. There was so much of it this time around, too much to simply lick away; he had to scoop water from the pools in order to smear it off faster. Alas, the more he washed, the more streaks of fluid seemed to remain. It was no use. This was taking far too long.

Finally, when he was only halfway done, he decided he could not muck around any longer. The possibility of Cade losing his grip and tumbling out of the tree kept flashing before his eyes. He must go to him!

“Oh,” he groaned, reaching up and gripping his horns, “to the pits with this!”

He whirled around…

…and froze when he glimpsed something white slipping behind a rock near the pass.

Everything inside him lurched. Too late, he realized that this whole time, the traces of Cade’s scent that he had assumed were still lingering from earlier, were actually fresh. Perhaps that was why he had first thought that the human was nearby when he came to—he indeed _was_ nearby, even though he was not supposed to be.

Did that mean…that he _saw_?

“C…Cade?” he asked at last, his own voice sounding far too small and timid. The Aching part of him had been anticipating something like this to occur again ever since the previous morning, but as before, the rest of him felt underprepared. Though he always took measures to prevent Cade from witnessing him while he pleasured himself, he still often imagined that this moment would play out far more smoothly, with him coaxing his mate with a low purr rather than stuttering like a day-old hatchling.

After a few beats of suspense, out popped Cade, wearing a big grin that seemed somewhat…unnatural to Optimus; to be honest, it looked more like a grimace than anything.

“Oh, thank the gods! There you are,” he went, clutching at his chest with one hand and putting the back of his opposing wrist to his forehead. For some peculiar reason, his voice became considerably louder the more he chattered. “What a relief! I’ve been searching for you for _ages_ , Optimus! And wouldn’t you believe it, I was lost in all this steam! I couldn’t see _anything whatsoever_! Especially not you, in particular!”

Choking down a whimper, Optimus scooted over a bit to better hide the state of the boulder. Then, with a jolt, he remembered that he had yet to rinse off his groin and thighs. A quick glance downward confirmed that they were just as messy as he thought, and he sank down into a crouch in an attempt to hide himself, as well. At least his parts were hidden away again, but surely he did not need those on display to make the situation any more blatant!

Cade, however, did not appear to pay any attention to it. In fact, his eyes kept focusing on anything and everything _except_ the mess. Though he was expressing gladness, his demeanor as a whole was off. Red-faced. Jittery. Disheveled. Even his dress appeared to have taken a hit; it had earned a few more large tears ( _from the climb down_ , Optimus surmised with an inward wince) and the bottom part was drenched…

Wait. Drenched? No wonder much of his scent was evading him! Why and when exactly did Cade get himself all wet again?

Forcing himself not to pay too much attention to what could be seen through the material, he gestured at Cade's dress with a questioning click, not daring to speak lest he broke whatever spell that was preventing Cade from taking notice of the obvious.

Cade’s rambling chatter came to an abrupt halt as he looked down at himself. Eyes widening, he snapped his head back up, staring petrified at nothing for a moment as though realizing he had forgotten something important. Finally his eyes met Optimus’s again, his flushed face cracking a sheepish smile as he took a handful of his dress and started squeezing the water out of it.

“Ha!” he barked, his voice still higher than usual. “Oh, this? I was just, um…uh—!”

While one of Cade's hands gesticulated round and round in useless circles, Optimus watched as tiny droplets fell from the bottom of the human’s dress. Behind him, he noticed, were wet footprints. His eyes followed the trail to the rock where Cade had hid, and then over to the very same pool he had used earlier. In that instant, the pieces of the puzzle interlocked in his mind. At the same time, from out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cade waving his arms frantically to snatch back his attention.

“I…I-I slipped and fell into a…a mire…on my way to find you, all right? Nothing to see, here!”

Optimus could not make much sense of that, of course. No matter. Judging by his human’s behavior, he suspected now more than ever that whatever he was chattering about was a load of scrap.

They scrutinized each other from either side of the clearing. Optimus felt his spark race faster with each passing moment, but he managed to maintain his stoic expression. Cade, meanwhile, eventually started to fidget. Optimus let his head tilt, just enough to convey his silent question, the answer to which he felt he already knew.

 _Did you_ …?

Suddenly Cade threw his arms up into the air. “You gave me quite a fright, putting me in a tree and running off like that!”

Startled, Optimus rocked backward a bit, echoing one of the few words he could understand. “Tree?”

“Yes, th-that’s right! The…the tree! Yes!” There was a triumphant gleam in Cade’s eyes that Optimus might have missed had he blinked right then. Coughing, he put a hand on his hip and raised a chiding finger. “I think I deserve an apology. I mean, really! All those shorter trees standing around, and you went and picked _that_ one? It’s a miracle I even made it to the bottom in one piece, you know!”

“Oh. Yes.” Although he sensed that this was a mere diversion, Optimus knew he deserved to be scolded. He lowered his gaze. “Sorry.”

Cade’s tone changed when he responded, betraying the fact that he was sorry, too. “Well…anyway, it’s in the past, now.”

Silence fell between them once more. Doubt and unease pricked Optimus’s spark. Looking at Cade again helped, but only a little, for now he had lowered his eyes, too. It was difficult to be certain, but he seemed troubled.

Unsure.

Afraid.

 _Afraid…of me_?

No, that could not be true! Cade was never afraid of him.

He sent a calming rumble his way to bring his gaze back up. Once he was sure that he was watching, he crept toward him, slow and soft, over the pools and through the steam. He could see that Cade’s parted lips were trembling, could almost feel the shiver that seized his warm, soft body. Yet he did not retreat.

Optimus stopped once there was yet an arm’s length between himself and the human in rags. Curling his fingers, he extended his arm, offering a loosely closed fist for Cade to touch.

Cade’s breath was shaky as he expelled it, but he did not hesitate as he stepped closer and pressed his body against his fingers, his arms stretching to hold as much of him as he could. Relief banished the tension from Optimus’s shoulders as he felt those little fingers rub tiny, comforting circles into his plating. The Ache, of course, found the sensation worth moaning about, but thankfully the urge to express it outwardly was just weak enough to ignore.

This close, he could detect more of Cade’s dampened scent.

Again, he had to fight back a moan.

Cade may have washed most of it out, but he had indeed released his pleasure somewhat recently. Almost masking it was the scent of fear. Stronger than that, though, was the scent of… _thrill_.

There was no doubt about it: he saw, and he knew.

But he obviously did not want Optimus to know that he knew, even though he likely suspected that Optimus _did_ know…

Well, it was a delicate tangle, for certain. And though his instincts were pushing him to dive into it headfirst, he felt it best not to do so. Cade was the one who must unravel it, and Optimus had a mighty feeling that Cade was going to do just that in the near future, once the time and place were just right. He only needed to be patient for at least a few more days…if the Ache will let him.

His human gave him a final pat before stepping back to gaze up at him. Eyes filled with longing, he opened his mouth to say something, then changed his mind, choosing instead to put his fingers to his lips and close his eyes for a sparkbeat or two. Blinking them back open, he let his arms drop and swing freely at his sides as he started walking backwards into the pass. The smile he gave Optimus was, at long last, genuine...and possibly a mite suggestive, as well.

“I’ll, um…I’ll let you deal with…you know…whatever-that-is, heh, heh.” He nodded in the general direction of the boulder. His face became redder, his voice a little squeakier. “I’ll wait for you by that tree.”

With that, Cade spun around and hurried out of sight. He did not look back, but perhaps that was a good thing, for Optimus could not help but smirk after his retreating form.

This bizarre courtship was really starting to heat up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is like the written equivalent to that comic with the dog sitting in a house fire going "this is fine"  
> except instead of fire it's jizz
> 
> thanks for readin'!

**Author's Note:**

> MORE TO COME.  
> More tags will be added as I go along.  
>   
> IMPORTANT: If there ever comes a time when for whatever reason this site shuts down and/or my fic poofs from existence, please find me on Tumblr (jessicatheshark). I have backups upon backups, so I will be able to repost this story on there if I ever have to.


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